ramblings & reblogs of a slavic weirdo

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The pronouns xe/xem/xyr are credited to Don Rickter who first used them in a Unitarian Universalist publication in May 1973! There are several variant spellings of these pronouns.

Complete Set:

Objective: Xe

Subjective: Xem

Possessive Adjective: Xyr

Possessive Pronoun: Xyrs

Reflexive: Xemself

Note: I’ve occasionally seen “xyrself” as the reflexive of this set. I’ll be using “xemself” in this post because it follows the convention of reflexive pronouns being [subjective pronoun] + -self suffix.

Examples:

They asked me → Xe asked me

I answered them → I answered xem

This was their request → This was xyr request

That book is theirs  → That book is xyrs

They love themself → Xe loves xemself

He asked me → Xe asked me

I answered him → I answered xem

This was her request → This was xyr request

That book is hers  → That book is xyrs

He loves himself → Xe loves xemself

Tips:

In English, an “x” at the beginning of a word is pronounced like a “z”– think of words like xylophone, xenon, etc.

I’ve generally heard “xyr” pronounced to rhyme with “her,” but it could also rhyme with “here,” so be sure to ask for clarification if someone you know uses xe/xem/xyr!

A common mistake I see is people swapping the possessive adjective “xyr” with the contraction for “xe is.” Remember, it’s “they’re going home,” not “their going home,” so for xe/xem, it’s “xe’s going home,” not “xyr going home.”

Additional Resources:

Pronoun Dressing Room

Practice With Pronouns

The bi gay flag you made is so pretty wowowow

Bi gay . Autosexual

artfighters: oh you mean thin and willowy? slender and petite? a breeze could blow her away? the heroine of a fanfiction that is only 2 apples tall and 20kgs?

....is it cause she's a woman? i know her body type is obvious in my art style, plus its written in the description.

Because:

A) I see it around the Internet where the proportions are off, and I think people are copy/pasting from different thumbnail images that come up in search results, and not clicking through to get the original. It's not a big deal, but it causes a hiccup in my brain whenever I see it.

and

B) There's been some discussion in the Disability Community here on Tumblr on what the precise symbolism should be, and it's changed a bit and gotten complicated. So I want to simplify and broaden it, so it can be explained to curious Normate folk -- without going into a 15 minute explanation of social constructs.

So I'm making a fresh post right now to put all that stuff together.

I'm gonna leave the detailed description of the flag design's proportions just in the alt text (so that people with screen readers know what they are, without having to listen to it twice)

The width of each colored stripe is proportional to the overall width of the flag, but I decided to leave the general proportions of the flag flexible (so it's easier for people to make one based on what materials they can find -- just in case there's a need for a protest sign for a pop-up rally).

The Meaning (Short Version -- what to tell someone who asks while you're waiting for the elevator)

6 colors represent how the Disability Community is Global

The 5 colors in the middle represent how diverse that community is

The black is inspired by pirate flags: rage at injustice, fighting back

The stripes are diagonal to represent cutting through barriers.

The in-depth reasons behind the meaning (Long Version -- If you actually want a 15+ minute discussion of social constructs and history)

(Please subtract one vote from the third option -- that's just me, the poll-maker, wanting to track the votes as time goes on)

[Dreamwidth lets poll-makers see results automatically, BTW]

#I am of the opinion that *all* disabilities don't get enough recognition as-is [...] #I say this as a person who can be fully able-passing (for short amounts of time)

@strangestructures made similar points in (excellent) replies to this post, especially how any disability can be made "invisible" depending on what resources a person has access to, or the context of what they're doing and when.

Back when I was still in the first stages of designing a disability pride flag (when I was still focused on the cursed zigzag design), and I was still thinking of representation in terms of different medical conditions, I only had four stripes, and someone asked me to add a fifth, for invisible disabilities.

dolphin study~

-

found a moment of peace amid academic stress to do some art :)

“My character is hidden today so that I can fix my ratio. He will be unhidden July 8th. Feel free to message me about it.”

Are we seriously that worried about ratio? This is such a bullshit excuse

(Title is sarcastic actually! Oops!)

(Warning for outdated language in some of the sources. Use of queer and dyke.)

(Transphobia tw)

Source here: http://www.igs.ocha.ac.jp/igs/IGS_publication/journal/7/1.pdf

Those date from 2011. Not as old as other sources, but demonstrates that until recently, people have enjoyed the term. Again, the term didn’t die in the 80s, and didn’t suddenly appear in 2018.

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https://star-anise.tumblr.com/post/189914592439/until-50-years-ago-the-word-for-a-bisexual-woman

https://star-anise.tumblr.com/post/612233355690442752/the-lesbian-only-term-myth-a-comprehensive#notes

https://star-anise.tumblr.com/post/189734915249/reference-card-to-my-butchfemme-posts#notes

https://shopbigirlsclub.com/why-butch-femme-belong-to-bisexuals-as-well-and-bi-history-resources/

https://sirene-saphique.tumblr.com/post/178459775659/for-anyone-who-says-butch-and-femme-are

https://star-anise.tumblr.com/post/182126519709/do-you-have-any-sources-on-the-claims-you-made-im

https://sirene-saphique.tumblr.com/post/185982238679/authoratmidnight-smallswingshoes

https://mobile.twitter.com/jessfromonline/status/1250919673471827968

this thread is about;

*”Bisexual Women and the “Threat” to Lesbian Space", by Sharon Dale Stone

*”Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers” by Lilian Faderman

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/r0uc3c0vmnx5hm2/AACAf-rXqwSDgImBy7OMph3aa?dl=0

https://sirene-saphique.tumblr.com/post/623300907466194944/venomous-dyke-safersefirot

https://woman-loving.tumblr.com/post/623390916506533888/i-dont-identity-as-a-bi-lesbian-but-i-feel

https://woman-loving.tumblr.com/post/171942926505/a-while-ago-i-was-asked-over-im-to-talk-about-my

https://kyanitedragon.tumblr.com/post/623558084355375104/ive-been-using-doe-and-stag-because-i-thought

Carol Queen’s “The queer in me”; https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-queer-in-me_b_8178860?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNhLw&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAG-t049cd454Jt7r8ml8fqndvtpnOLYIYpu2VyMsCwtZqemO0giIiAMMM4uoEchs2OtHycZvD6joVWW4asW7AAxz1GjzakMCvfHUlWPw2Uk6B15Skv99rLyo7uaGmZc92kxwz7yM5KMLFDYumcUEGj-ipWvgP71K_q0vfzW5ixSp

https://bi-lesbian.tumblr.com/post/625828215725932544/lavender-woman-volume-2-issue-5-august-1973 (Lavender women related, see previous pictures)

https://mobile.twitter.com/BiLesBot/status/1293575392045993985

https://mobile.twitter.com/cardiganhill/status/1297589215962828803?s=20

*This is about “Lesbian and Bisexual Identities: Constructing Communities, Constructing Selves”, by Kristin G. Esteberg

https://books.google.ca/books?id=jVzGMF25uasC&pg=PA22&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

*Ebook for Lesbian health

https://href.li/?https://bipanlibrary.com/closer-to-home-bisexuality-and-feminism/

*Ebook for Closer to home, which mentions many labels such as bi-dyke, bi-lesbian, lesbian-identified bisexual, etc

Related to the above, Anything That Moves, which is the magasine that published the Bisexual Manifesto had this to say: 

“The women in Closer to Home give themselves many names. Bi-dyke, bi-lesbian, lesbian-identified bisexual, bi-affectional, lesbian, and formally-lesbian bisexual. Anything but straight. As Margaret Mihee Chloe points out in her essay, “identity is that which makes one recognizable to self and other.” The plurality of names, and the combinations used, are all attempts in our clumsy and woman-wordless language, to create this identity, to make ourselves recognizable.” And a lot more quotes can be found in the magazine  

The issue with this this specific quote can be found here

Edit; this post is/ will be updated as I find new shit

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In all seriousness though, every time someone says “the term was made by terfs”, I see red. Bi lesbian is overwhelmingly used by trans women and non-binary people, and y’all have the nerve to pretend radfems are behind its creation (without, of course, listing a fucking source for it. Besides, radfems mentionning it and laughing at it is NO proof that they made it). Radfems have show again and again how much they despise the term, but y’all have decided that believing a bunch of gatekeeping fucks that will call everything they don’t like “terf rethoric” is the way to go, apparently, despite COUNTLESS TRANS PEOPLE telling you otherwise

And, NGL, y’all are ignorant as fuck to genuinely believe TERFs would let anyone they see as attracted to man label themselves a “lesbian” in any way, much less “bi lesbian”. The only lesbians in their eyes are Cis gold-star transphobic lesbians, that’s it. They are literally the ones who separated the lesbian community, and kicked bi women out, but y’all still wanna pretend they legit use bi-lesbian in a positive manner at all?

FebFem (female exclusive bisexual female) is the term made by TERFs to refer to “good” bi women who don’t date men”.

Below are screenshots showing what radfems think of bi-lesbians (hints; not positive.) obvious TW for transphobia, biphobia, lesbophobia, general GC bullshit.

https://twitter.com/caderaspindrift/status/1269680144563662849?s=20

https://twitter.com/caderaspindrift/status/1269691470585278464?s=20

https://twitter.com/ialika_lifina/status/1401609178435624960?s=20 You might notice: TERFs are the ONLY ones who (Sometimes) think Bi-lesbianism Is about “including trans women in lesbianism”. No-lesbianism as used by people who actually use the label has NEVER been about defining attraction to trans women as “bisexual because of biological sex”.

And bi is pretty much known as “attraction to 2 genders or MORE” for a lot of folks who are bi. For bi-lesbian who refer to themselves as such, they mean women and non-binary genderS (with an s), or, more rarely specifically women and one non-binary gender (ex; women and agender people). They are not pushing for a “gender trinary”, stop saying that.

And if you try to pull the “bi is redundant cuz n-b people are already included in lesbianism”: look if you personally include them in your own definition, good for you, no one is forcing you to change labels. If /you/ feel included, good for you, but please understand not all of us are. It can feel to some of us like we are reduced to “binary-lite”. (Example: imagine someone who is bigender man/woman: imagine someone saying “ooh you’re non-binary so your eincluded!1! But anything MAN is excluded! But we’re very inclusive of non-binary identities uwu” doesnt that sound contradicting in the slightest? Or at least erasing someone’s identity?)

But if you try and pull it to say “enby genders are included cuz u can never know who is non-binary; fuck you for essentially misgendering a bunch of non-binary people as “basically female-looking enough”. Besides, I’m sorry to say it, but you can never be sure who’s a woman, who’s a man, who’s non-binary. For all you know, that very feminine person with long hair you thought was cute is actually a man, (cis or trans), and goes by he/him pronouns. By /your own/ logic, that n-b people who are “female passing or androgynous” enough are included because “you can never tell”, feminine men who look “female enough” could be included in lesbianism. Make of that what you will.

As for the “lesbians are into fem-aligned enbies anyway so the label bad :)”: I made this whole post about it, feel free to look into it and why that claim is high-key transphobic and nbphobic: 

https://sirene-saphique.tumblr.com/post/630983263112085504/im-gonna-try-to-be-clear-because-i-am-fuming-but

As for “WELL SPLIT ATTRACTION MODEL BAD ;(”, Well. People know themselves better than you do. If your sexual and romantic attraction is the same, good for you, you do not get to talk for other’s experiences with queerness.

“They could just use homosexual biromantic then not lesbian”!! Oof. Well first of all no? Why would you want someone to label themselves homosexual if they are not comfortable? The word has such a shit history??

Second: idk I’m not comfortable with telling non-binary to use “homosexual” with their attraction to women (because, surprise, women =/= Non-binary, unless for those who identify as botch) if they are Not also women, or women-aligned.

I also feel saying the SAM is “bad” because it’s just a “modifier” feels. Disrespectful to aro/ace people, as it treats being aro and/or ace as a modifier rather than a full orientation but maybe that’s just me lol.

Also i cannot believe I need to say this apparently but -ahem- Queer People Are Not Responsible For Shitty CisHet Men Hitting on people Who Aren’t Interested IN Dating Them. Stop Victim Blaming I Beg Of You.

Finally: WHaT AbOuT DICTiOnArY DEFInITIOns1!1!

1; I feel the queer movement should be about revolution and giving up on the neat little boxes cishet society has pushed on us, and instead let queer people decide for themselves what fits best but you do you?

2 ; if you want to use “dictionary definitions, go for it I guess, but no “official” dictionary definition i have seen refers to lesbianism as /exclusive/ attraction to women.

As you can see, none of these describe lesbianism as “exclusive” attraction to women

This is how stonewall uk defines the term “lesbian”. Again, it is not exclusive.

(The same applies to “homosexual” or “gay”. It is always referred more or less as “attraction to same sex and/or gender”, never “EXCLUSIVE attraction”)

“WHY CANT YOU JUST USE SAPPHIC??1!1!”

Well. That has come full circle if you ask me.

You probably have seen this flag around if you're active in online queer spaces.

I've seen many people, especially gen z on Tik Tok/Instagram call it a "furry pride flag" or even worse, a "beastiality/zoophilia flag"

Please, STOP.

This is the BEAR BROTHERHOOD FLAG.

This flag was created in 1992. It's older than me, and older than most of you on this app. It represents bears, an identity that belongs to gay men and their community, just like butch and femme belong to lesbians. However gay men identifiers usually describe a body type more than a way of presenting.

Bear describes a gay male who is usually chubby with a strong build and very hairy.

It has nothing to do with being attracted to animals.

Those are the two otter flags.

Otter is also a gay male term that describes a body type.

It has also nothing to do with being attracted to animals.