feeling blue

I'm looking back at my first time in ed treatment and of course i was doomed to fail! So much shit happened so early in my recovery that it's honestly i miracle i stuck it out for that long before fully relapsing

Yes, I’ll admit I wanted attention. The grimiest, sickest part of me wanted nothing more than to be seen. I wanted to destroy this body beyond recognition. I wanted to watch them recoil, disgusted by the person I’d let myself become. I wanted to be hated more than I hated myself, just to know it was possible. I wanted to be held. More than anything, I wanted to be held. I wanted to feel safe.

I was gonna purge, but i desperately need to keep these painkillers to kick in, so i suppose i will have to keep everything down

Helping out at a fundraiser for Venezuela earthquake relief tomorrow. Doubt any of my "friends" will show. They've all been very quiet since it happened

My period is currently a week late. Really hoping i miss this one 🤞

Huge ass wasp flew into my room and now is nowhere to be found. I am not sleeping tonight

watching the guy who didn’t like musicals 2025 remount :)

Opens laptop. New tab. Scrolls tumblr.com. Closes laptop. Turns on phone. Opens tumblr. Scrolls. Turns off phone. Opens laptop

I have so much clothes in my closet that I don't wear because they don't fit. Still, i can't stand to get rid of them. I have clothes that could fit if I recover. I have clothes that could fit if I get worse