I Followed The Red Brick Road & Took The Blue Pill @blueclairebrown - Tumblr Blog

Programmed to love

There’s a magic I can’t keep

It’s Tiptoeing around me

Once again it keeps me from sleep

As it’s echos blows so softly

Silk sympathiser

Luring through and through my dreams

This subtle hypnotiser

Not letting me know what any of it means

Do I stay or follow through

These stars are mesmerising

Is there a riddle or a clue

Or is the dark sky simply accessorising

Flutter around ‘tis all I do

Collecting at the seams

Coming or going in this rendezvous

Chasing the inner of my dreams

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Free Form.

My life. It’s never going to be as I knew it. From Free form. Now I’ll never fit again. Shapeless. Confidence gone. My downwards personality. It was the best thing about me. Now I’m pointless. Blank. So blank. I’m so blank.

I was happy. Confident. Cocky. Nothing could get me. Even if I tried to let it. Nothing could get me. Now the past. It only fits my dreams. That I alter. I alter to suit me. You’re in them. In all my dreams with me.

But I alter them. I alter my dreams to suit me. You’re just standing there. I look at you then look away. I walk past you. Never looking back. I never look back. You’re a stranger. Just a stranger. A blank colourless blur. I walk past you. And forget you were ever there.

Free Form

My life. It’s never going to be as I knew it. From Free form. Now I’ll never fit again. Shapeless. Confidence gone. My downwards personality. It was the best thing about me. Now I’m pointless. Blank. So blank. I’m so blank.

I was happy. Confident. Cocky. Nothing could get me. Even if I tried to let it. Nothing could get me. Now the past. It only fits my dreams. That I alter. I alter to suit me. You’re in them. In all my dreams with me.

But I alter them. I alter my dreams to suit me. You’re just standing there. I look at you then look away. I walk past you. Never looking back. I never look back. You’re a stranger. Just a stranger. A blank colourless blur. I walk past you. And forget you were ever there.

Bloodstains are shared between us. Two cut fingers and one lasting pact.

Such a ridiculous bond; so surreal yet stupid.

We long to live in a world of a movie where we make the ending to suit our needs.

BLACK HOLE

Trapped into an oblivion that isn't my own,

Searching for a path to send me home

Knowing this darkness must result in light

Yet remembering my future possibly wont be bright,

But still straining these eyes for a glimmer or speck

Of light to lead me to the thing I must collect.

For now, nothing, just walking forwards in pure black

Praying to God, I don't get attacked,

Hoping my intuitions are following the right track

And not leading my craving body all the way back.

#blackhole #black hole #poem #poems on tumblr

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Why can you not leave my mind?

Untitled, 2018

‘Three Women With Coloured Hair’

30 x 40 inches, 2018

Black Is Beautiful, 2018

Untitled, 2018

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Untitled, 2018

Circled

I feel lost.

I’m grasping everything I have to find a way to destroy a feeling. I'm around this circle, holding on to secrets, hanging on to problems, trying to cover up the truth, but the powder doesn't blend in this so it just goes up the train track and fades into blood. This mist is clouding my path of purity of this thing we have right now because my memories creep up and poke out my eyes to throw them in the direction of those pictures and thoughts and the way I felt. I don’t get it, I have what I want but at the same time I don’t. This is streaming up to kill me because I back there is unfinished. When I turn back the hands of the watch, time isn’t moving with it. I’m just stuck here, stuck around this circle, holding on to secrets, hanging on to problems. What’s the secret? It’s in the problem. I am the problem, this is the problem, it’s a problem.

My identical twins

I followed my heart and travelled west which lead me to you.

I knew there was a reason I just couldn’t let you go, that I always chose you. I knew there was a reason I always travelled west.

It was you all along.

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Plural

I found out today that I’m pregnant with twins. Two beautiful peas in my pod.

TORN

I’m torn between this and this, Him and him.

I’m torn on what is going on, What these feelings mean.

I’m torn with if this is it, the big one, The rest of my life.

I’m torn, I see this; I still lay in shreds. I still see the knife.

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