Casually Being Awesome

Masterpost 4 out of 50: The Motivation  Self-Discipline Masterpost

I live in a state where you “have to” report anyone you suspect of being undocumented (that wonderful hellhole of Arizona). Now in practice this law has fallen far short, thank goodness. But if you live in such a place and they start enforcing it, here is how you get around it:

Assume everyone who doesn’t speak English is visiting.

Never ask about their job, because if they tell you they work here then you know they’re not visiting. You see them a lot for several weeks or months? Hm. Someone in the family must be ill. That’s terribly tough. They always dress in old, ratty laborers’ clothes? I feel you, my dude, I can’t afford new clothes either, and my dad has the fashion sense of an aardvark, so sometimes it’s not even about “affording” them. They say they’ve been here for years? You must have misunderstood. Spanish isn’t your first language, after all. First and last name? It never came up, or you don’t recall–you meet a lot of people.

Don’t do more than is expressly asked of you, and do what you are asked with such an intense attention to protocol that not asking you at all becomes more effective than even bothering.

In this case:

“Have you seen an illegal immigrant?”

“Could you describe an illegal immigrant, officer?”

*officer describes a person who is in the country without appropriate paperwork, or who has crossed the border illegally*

“No, sir, I haven’t seen any illegal immigrant.”

1) Even someone who’s working could be here on a migrant (or other sort of) visa (hey, there are a few thousand per year, and *someone*’s got to get them, right?) or could be waiting for their case to resolve in immigration court, after having come to America to join a born or naturalized American family member. 

2) Even people who are working improperly could have come into the country legally – and just overstayed their visa or be violating the conditions of their visa, and you have no idea what the niggly little regulations that govern that might be. 

3) If a law enforcement officer asks you about a neighbor/friend/etc., take this moment to remind them that, unlike them, you cannot ask a random person off the street for their ID and be entitled to a response. 

4) Even if someone has told you that they are undocumented, you still don’t know, do you? Humans lie all the time. How could you know for sure? You can’t, because they can’t prove that they have a lack of papers. Just because you haven’t seen papers doesn’t mean they don’t exist! 

5) Don’t ever talk to cops in general. Why are you talking to a cop? Stop that, as soon as it is safe and feasible. 

Love,

The only thing wrong with sex?

When it’s not consensual.

*This probably only applies to those of you entering college, as high school lab work seems to be much more chill. Also, this is just my experience and may very well vary from place to place.*

Sleep a decent amount of hours (if you can, have a nap right before) and EAT BEFORE YOU GO THERE - lab work is physically exhausting, you’re usually there for several hours and you can count the times you get to sit down on one hand.

Read whatever information you are given about your lab work beforehand. You don’t want to get there and not know what’s going on.

Be active! There’s nothing worse than a lab partner than needs to be told to do things. If you’ve read whatever info you were given, you’ll have an idea of what to do so take the initiative. Offer to do stuff. Don’t just stand around waiting for orders.

Wear layers. Labs are freezing cold 10% of the time and scorching hot 90% of the time (especially once you put on your lab coat). The heat is specially bad because you may even get dizzy so please wear layers (the lightest one should be a short-sleeve or tank fop).

Don’t forget:

Water bottle - heat = dehydration

Hair tie - tie your hair up. Just do it.

WEAR COMFY SHOES - you may think those boots are soo comfy and chic but I guarantee you’ll change your mind after there hours of standing. Sneakers are the way to go 

Yes you can just have one lab coat. But you still need to wash it. Volatile solvents don’t mask B.O.

Things break. Try your best not to break them but know that it’s not that big of a deal so don’t worry too much if you do.

‘Water’ always means deionized water. Always. Unless stated otherwise. Seriously, it can ruin your whole experiment. Also when you’re washing any equipment, you should always give them one last rinse with deionized water.

If you need to take away from something you’re weighting or a liquid you’re transfering with a pippete, that never goes back into the ‘original tub’. It’s a residue.

Painted nails + organic solvents equal ruined nails. Gloves don’t help. Beware. But, gloves are great and v recommended if you’re dealing with oh idk rat pee.

Once you get home, you’re probably just going to want to pass out. Don’t. Do whatever you have to do (have coffee ready?) to write as much as you remember about what you’ve done. It makes writing the lab write-up. So. Much. Easier.

On the same note, if you know you have something due the day after a lab, get it done beforehand because you probably won’t have the energy to do it afterwards. If you have lab work all week long (like I do), get as much done on the weekend as possible 

Listen, if you know an upper classman who’s taken that class, ask to borrow their write-ups. Beg for them if you must. They will save your life.

Have a lab write-up template. You can look for one online or model It after your professor’s directions or an upper-classman’s write-up. Having something that you can just ‘fill in’ is super convenient.

Other masterposts

How To Stop Procrastinating

How To Stop Skipping Class

Skincare 101

Memorization Tips

Implementing a Study Routine

Accounting: selling your soul for money.

Aerospace Engineering: “it actually is rocket science.”

Anthropology: it’ll get you laid, but it won’t get you paid!

Archeology: if you don’t know what it is, it’s probably ceremonial.

Art History: and you thought making art was pointless!

Astrophysics: “Eh, I’m within an order of magnitude…”

Biochemistry: spend 4 years aspiring to discover the cure for cancer, and the rest of your life manufacturing shampoo.

Chemistry: where alcohol is a solution.

Communications: “we’ll teach you everything you need to know about convincing your friends that your degree is actually meaningful.”

Computer Engineering: tons of chicks, just not very many.

Computer Science (for a straight girl): the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

Creative Writing: because job security is for pussies.

Criminal Justice: we’re here because of Law & Order reruns.

Dental Hygienist: “something to do until you get knocked up.”

Engineering: the art of figuring out which parameters you can safely ignore.

English: so you want to be a teacher.

Film: forks on the left, knives on the right.

Finance: “accounting was too hard.”

Graphic Design: no, we’re not artists.  We’re designers; there’s a difference.

History: history may repeat itself, but you definitely will.

Information Technology: let me Google that for you.

Journalism: learn how to construct an argument that no one will listen to.

Latin: because useful is overrated.

Linguistics: studied 17 languages, fluent in none of them.

Marine Biology: “I wanted to play with dolphins, but I’m looking at algae instead.”

Music Performance: if you don’t hate yourself, you’re doing it wrong.

Nursing: learning to save others’ lives while struggling not to take your own.

Philosophy: think about it.

Photography: it’s worth a shot.

Physics: “everything you learned last week was wrong.”

Political Science: your opinion is wrong

Pre-med: “I’ll probably switch majors in two years.”

Psychology: good luck doing anything until you get your Masters.

Speech Pathology: we have a way of making you talk.

Statistics: where everything’s made up, and numbers don’t matter.

Structural Engineering: because architects don’t know what physics is.