Erasing the Who Am I board in order to work out how to save Rocky is such a moment. It doesn't matter who he is anymore, the most important thing about himself now is he is the only one who can save Rocky <3
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cw: fluff-smut, MDNI‼️, domestic fluff, established relationship, pet names(Ryland calls her Baby), explicit sexual content, soft!dom! Ryland, Ryland curses, desperate and needy reader, lots of whining, alcohol intoxication (reader), dubcon(?), drunk sex (reader initiates), unprotected sex, semi-public sex (car), voyeur, being watched on act, protective Ryland, jealous Ryland, aftercare, emotional vulnerability.
summary: very concerned boyfriend Ryland tries so hard to be responsible, but his aggressively affectionate girlfriend had other plans.
“Hey uh—Ryland?”
An unfamiliar voice comes from the phone.
“Yes? Is everything alright?” Ryland stands up immediately. “And who is this? Why do you have my girlfriend’s phone?”
On the other end, he can hear music blaring, people shouting over each other, bursts of laughter echoing through what sounds like a very packed club.
“Right! I’m Nicole, one of her friends.” The woman laughs nervously.
“It’s Maddy’s birthday and, well… everybody got a little carried away. It’s absolute chaos here, there are way too many people for me to keep track of, and she’s one of them.”
A muffled commotion follows.
“YOU KNOW, RYRY IS SOOOO PRETTY ESPECIALLY WHEN HE’S—”
“Oh my God.”
“His nose? perfect. His eyes? oh i’m gone.” You continue somewhere in the background. “The little frown he does when he’s concentrating? UGH.”
Nicole groaned. “Yeahhh, yeah whatever.”
“I am forever, looking respectfully!” You defended yourself.
Ryland buries his face in his hand.
“Anyway, you heard her,” Nicole continues, sounding exhausted, “she’s drunk and she won’t stop talking about you, so I figured I’d call the responsible adult.”
“I’ll be there in ten.”
“Perfect.”
The call ends.
For a moment Ryland simply stares at the screen.
Then he moves.
He grabs the first coat hanging by the door, nearly dropping his keys in the process, and mutters a quiet curse beneath his breath. He is not panicking.
Just concern.
There is a difference.
Or at least that’s what he tells himself as he fumbles with the lock and heads for his car.
Nicole is guiding you towards the front lobby when the glass doors slid open.
Ryland steps inside.
The flashing lights and pounding music felt foreign now. It has been years since he’d willingly enter a place like this.
Then you spot him.
Your entire face lit up.
“MY RYLAND!” You point at him, shaking Nicole’s shoulder in excitement as you jump around, pulling yourself away from poor Nicole’s hold.
The moment Nicole lets you go, you stumble forward with all the coordination of a newborn baby deer.
“Oh thank God. You’re his problem now.”
You practically launch yourself at him.
Ryland barely has time to brace himself before you collide to his chest.
“Hi, Sugarpie~” You slur, grinning as you boop the tip of his nose with your perfectly manicured finger.
“S-sugarpie…?” He repeats weakly, sounding personally attacked as he visibly short circuits at the nickname, the tip of his ears flushes pink. Before he can respond any further, you cup his face between your hands and kiss his cheek.
“Mwah!”
A giggle escapes you.
Then another kiss. “Mwah!”
Another giggle.
And another.
“MWAH!”
The exaggerated kissy sound makes Nicole wheezes.
You only giggled harder.
Meanwhile, Ryland is rapidly turning red. “Okay, okay.”
“Alright.” His arms wrap securely around your waist before you can tip over, only to simply lift you off your feet altogether.
You gasp. “Oh my God.”
“You can barely stand.”
“I CAN stand.” Your legs kick uselessly through the air.
“See? Standing.”
Nicole snorted so hard she nearly doubled over.
“You’re enabling her.”
“I’m preventing a concussion.”
“Fair enough.”
While you remain occupied attempting to steal yet another kiss from his cheek, Nicole hands over your purse and helps drape your jacket over your knees.
“How did this even happen?” Ryland asks.
“A challenge happened and—”
“You should’ve come with me.” You say out of nowhere, pouting, cutting off Nicole’s explanation.
“I invited you.”
“You did.”
“You said no.”
“You told me it was girls’ night.”
“It’s just event details. Everyone else’s boyfriend is here.” You complain, giving him your best sad face as you trace little circles on his chest.
Nicole nodded solemnly.
“She’s got a point.”
“You’re supposed to be helping me.”
“I am helping. So next time, come suffer with the rest of us.”
Ryland laughs quietly despite himself.
“Yeah. I’ll come next time.”
Your eyes immediately widen.
“Really? Really? Really?”
“Really.”
“I LOVE YOUUU!” And there goes another kiss to his cheek. Nicole makes an exaggerated gagging noise at that.
“Okay, that’s enough. Take your boyfriend home.”
“Bye, Nicole!”
“Bye.”
“Love you!”
“I know.”
“Love youuuu!”
“Please leave.”
Still carrying you with ease, Ryland shook his head and headed toward the exit.
Halfway through the lobby, he looks down on you, finding you no longer paying attention to anything happening around you.
You are only staring at the chandelier overhead with complete wonder.
“Ry...”
“Yes?”
“Look, the ceiling looks beautiful.”
He follows your gaze.
“It is.”
“Not as beautiful as you though.”
Ryland nearly walked into the door, making you giggle and his cheeks burning.
With you squirming in his arms and insisting you won’t be any trouble, he finally makes his way toward the parking lot. But, the moment he reaches his car, Ryland freezes, he pats the side of his pants once, then again. Nothing.
“You have my keys.”
You blink at him. Then smile. “I have your keys!”
“Yes”
“I’m helping.”
“You stole them.”
“Borrowed.”
Ryland sighs.
After a brief negotiation involving three kisses, one attempted bribe, and you insisting his keychain is really pretty, Ryland finally manages to retrieve his keys.
“You’re lucky you’re cute.” He mumbles as he settles you into the passenger seat.
“I know.”
“That wasn’t a compliment.”
“It sounded like one.” It absolutely is.
As he reaches over to fasten your seatbelt, you immediately complain.
“I want to sit with you.”
“You are sitting with me.”
“No.” You frown. “I’m sitting next to you.”
“Yes. That’s generally how cars work.”
“NO.” You point at him accusingly. “I want to sit with you.”
A laugh escapes him despite his best efforts.
“You can’t, baby. I need to drive.”
“Hmph.” You slump back into the seat, arms crossed dramatically over your chest.
For a while, the car falls quiet.
Then your gaze fell to your side, to him. “Pretty.” You mumble.
Ryland glances over, meeting your eyes already on him, heavy-lidded beneath fluttering lashes.
“I said you’re pretty,” You insist, reaching out to cup the side of his face, your thumb brushes softly over his cheekbone, earning a faint hitch in his breath.
Then, before he can gather a response, you’re already reaching for your seatbelt, unbuckling it and scrambling to sit into his lap.
“Wait—”
Ryland catches you immediately, one arm holding you in place. “You can’t do that.”
“I can.”
“That’s not how laws work.”
You stare at him, he stares back.
Then you pout.
“Baby.”
“No.”
“Baby. It’s dangerous.”
You only wiggle out of his hold, somehow managing to settle yourself comfortably on his lap. The triumphant giggle that leaves you tells him this was your plan all along.
“Absolutely not.”
“It worked.”
“It did not work.”
“It did.” You beam, Ryland pinches the bridge of his nose.
“You need to go back to your seat. Come on, baby. This is dangerous.”
You immediately shake your head. “No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“You can drive just fine.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
Ryland realizes this is a battle he’s not going to win through reason. With a resigned sigh, he pulls over to the side of the road, stopping to return you to your seat.
Apparently it doesn’t matter.
Because the moment he tries to move you, your arms immediately lock around him. Like a koala discovering its favorite tree.
“Baby.”
“No.”
“Baby.”
“No.”
“You have to let go.” And you cling tighter.
Ryland tries again.
And again.
At one point he even gets out of the car and attempts to physically relocate you back into the passenger seat. He tries bribing you with food. He even tries shaking you off, which only has you laughing so hard that Ryland starts laughing too.
He is sure he could move you if he really tried, like actually peeling you off him. The problem is that he doesn’t want to risk the force hurting you.
So the two of you remain stranded on the side of the road.
With you straddling his lap, tracing every feature of his face as if he is the prettiest thing ever.
He is pretty, you love pretty.
Each touch is followed by a soft kiss, one after another, giggling and smiling ear to ear at just how gorgeous your boyfriend is.
Ryland is trying very hard to pretend like this is a normal situation.
It’s not.
Not when every few minutes you glance up at him fluttering your lashes before announcing an observation.
“Pretty.”
“I’ve heard.”
“So pretty.”
“Thank you.”
“The prettiest.”
A fond smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.
You kiss that smile away before burying your face in the crook of his neck, earning a shaky breath from Ryland .
“B-baby…”
You begin pressing open mouthed kisses along his jaw, nipping and licking playfully down his neck, leaving marks that will definitely be visible later.
A whimper escapes him on each kiss, his hands gently trying to guide you away, but not because he dislikes it, quite the opposite actually. He’s starting to enjoy it far more than he should, he needs to get the two of you home.
“Baby, l-let’s not—Oh~” His words cut off at the roll of your hips.
Your hands drift across his chest, softly rubbing on them, you hum softly as you let your lips linger just on top of his, making him chase the kiss before finally giving it to him, moaning into his mouth as you continue grinding on his already forming bulge.
Slowly drowning in your touch, Ryland’s hands not shying away, softly caressing your waist whilst holding you steady. He is struggling to remember why he pulled over in the first place, with eyes tightly shut, his hips start bucking up helplessly, matching your movements.
Then he feels your cold hand snaking under his shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin, clumsily trying to push on the shirt he is wearing. And he remembers.
The position you’re in.
The situation you’re in.
The reason he stopped the car.
Quickly catching your wrist, he jerks back off the kiss, pressing his forehead against yours and forcing himself to calm down.
“I-i’m sorry Baby, but let’s n-not—” It’s painfully hard for him to say that, only for his words to be cut off by your whines.
“No~” You eagerly try to lean back in for the already heated kiss, but Ryland turns his head away at the last second. Making you frown sadly at his response.
He saw that, the dejected look.
“Hey, hey,” One hand comes up to cradle your face, just holding you there, keeping a sliver of distance between the two of you as he tries to calm your increasingly distressed state.
You grab that hand and pull it down to your chest.
“Touch me…”
His fingers squeeze on them out of reflex, he can’t even stop himself, the sensation drawing a soft moan from you and Ryland instantly chokes on his own breath.
“Shit—“
His other hand shoots up and grabs his wrist, pulling it away as if it might betray him again if left unattended.
“No…no…” He squeezes his eyes shut.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? -He thought to himself.
“Baby, please…” His voice cracks slightly. “D-don’t do this to me.”
“I want you to.” You quickly reply.
His hand goes back to your face, thumb brushing gently across your cheek.
“I know Baby. I know what you want,” The words come out softer this time. “But not now. You’re drunk.”
“No~ i know what m’doing.” You nuzzle into his palm, displaying your sad sad eyes.
The gesture nearly breaks whatever resolve he has left.
“I’m not rejecting you, okay?” He murmurs. “That’s not what this is.”
Your head tilts, resting fully against his hand, eyes remain fixed on him.
Waiting.
Wanting.
“Then why not?” The question comes out small.
Honest.
Ryland lets out a heavy sigh. “Because I care about you.”
“I know. So take care of me...” You frown.
He presses a kiss to your forehead.
“I know what you mean.” A strained laugh escapes him. “And trust me, you’re not making this easy for me either.”
That earns the faintest huff from you, pulling another smile from him.
“But I need you to tell me that again, once you’ve had some sleep, some water, and yell at me for being annoying.”
You grumble under your breath, making Ryland laugh.
“If you still want me after that…” He pauses for a moment, swallowing the thought of it. “then we’ll talk about it.”
The promise hangs on you.
You are unimpressed.
Beautiful.
Ryland nearly groans again.
“Please don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Too beautiful, like you’re trying to kill me.”
A laugh escapes you.
“There she is.” Ryland closes his eyes in victory.
“You have nice eyelashes.”
“Thank you.”
“You should let me borrow them.”
That earns an actual laugh from him, a quiet one, the kind that makes your heart flutter.
Eventually your words become slower, the pauses between them grow longer as your head grows heavier against his shoulder.
Finally silence takes over.
Ryland looks down.
You’re asleep. Still clinging to him, one hand still holding onto his jacket. Still wearing the tiniest smile.
Ryland can’t help smiling back.
For a moment, he simply sits there, watching you. His fingers gently combing through your hair, only when he’s sure you’re sound asleep does he carefully move you back into the passenger seat.
This time, you don’t protest, you merely curl deeper into the jacket draped over your shoulders. Ryland reclines the seat and adjusts your seatbelt, making sure you are comfortable, and finally starts the car.
The rest of the drive home passes in silence.
As the car stops, you stir in your sleep, as if knowing that you’re home.
Ryland glances over, seeing your sleepy eyes slowly fluttering open.
“Hi.” He smiles, the back of his hand brushes gently against your cheek.
You push yourself upright, blinking away the remnants of sleep. For a moment, you simply stare at him, then your gaze drops to his hand resting on your thighs.
Warm.
Without a word, you climb over the center console and settle onto his lap, wrapping your arms around him before burying your face in his neck. Again.
Ryland lets out a quiet sigh, not surprised in the slightest. One arm circles your waist while the other reaches for the bottle of water.
“Here. Water first.”
Reluctantly, you allow him to help you drink a few sips, once he’s satisfied, he sets the bottle aside.
“Let’s go.”
His hand is only centimeters away from the door handle when you practically collapse onto him.
All your weight and determination, arms looping around his neck as you cling to him shamelessly, effectively pinning him back into the seat.
“What is it?”
You only hold on tighter, giving him your best puppy eyes.
Ryland studies your face for a moment.
The stubborn pout.
The way you’re clinging to him like letting go would hurt.
A smile threatens to break through his face.
“You are impossible.”
“No.”
“No?”
You shake your head, then you pull on him, capturing his lips in yours. Clearly not forgetting what you want, and this time you’re determined to make sure you’ll get exactly what you want.
Ryland bites on your lower lips, more like holding them still to not kiss any further, his action makes you pull back with a small whine of annoyance.
“Stop being annoying.”
A laugh escapes him. “I’m not. Come on, let’s get inside.”
“No.” You protest, immediately grabbing onto his face.
“I want you. Here. Now.”
“H-here?”
“Yesss, let’s do it here.” You quickly reply, then pushing on his shirt again, wanting it off him so badly.
“Wai—what are you—“
“You promised.”
“You said we could do it after I got some sleep, some water, and realized you’re annoying.” You remind him, already frowning.
“You actually said that.”
Ryland pinches the bridge of his nose. “I did.”
“But I said we could talk about it.” He did.
“No. No. No. No. No...” You shake your head frantically, horrified that he might actually deny you again.
Every attempt he makes to create distance is immediately undone as you cling to him again.
“Wait—You’re drunk—“
“I’m NOT!” Coming out louder than intended. “Not as drunk.”
“But—”
“I know…I know, I am drunk, but I…I-i’m…” The words die in your throat, frustratingly difficult to explain, because the feeling isn’t logical.
You know you can have him tomorrow.
You know there’s no rush.
You know the two of you have all the time in the world.
And yet you still want him. Now.
“I just…I really need you…”
“Baby—”
“I NEED YOU TO FUCK ME. NOW!” Clasping your mouth with both hands as soon as you realize the outburst is nearly as overwhelming as the desire behind it.
Ryland blinks at that, gulping once before parting his lips to say something but not a word comes out, clearly affected by your demand.
“Please…” You beg, voice so small now.
“I know what I’m asking for.” Your fingers tighten around his shirt, crumpling the fabric between them.
Ryland’s expression softens immediately.
For a long moment, neither of you spoke, just eyes holding each other’s gaze, romancing silently, settling into the warmth that your hearts always knew.
You trusted him completely, he would never hurt you, never take more than what you meant to give.
Ryland searched your face one last time, not for permission, he’d already heard that, but for hesitation. He refuses to become the reason you questioned that trust tomorrow.
Doubt. Confusion. Uncertainty. Anything that suggests you might not actually want this, none.
Then he lets out a slow breath, his hand comes up to cradle your cheek, you nuzzle into his palm again, immediately, eyes sparkling with silent whispers of asking him to come closer.
Inviting as it is, you land a soft kiss in his palm.
“Such a tease...”
The words come out more like a groan than a scold. He brings your face closer to his, close enough to see the detailed streaks of his beautiful blue eyes.
“Just for you.” You say, softly batting your lashes in innocence, making him bite down a smile.
The smile he gives you is helpless. “Yeah?”
Completely. Hopelessly. Fond.
And you know that look.
You know exactly what it means.
He caves in.
A subtle click of the car locking could be heard. The hand on your cheek slides to the back of your head, pressing your lips flush against his.
The movement is immediate, intense. Starved.
Hours of restraint snapping under the weight of your persistence, he’s been holding himself back all night.
Too long.
His free hand settles at your waist, kneading on them softly as he pulls you even closer.
A pleased hum escapes you at the push of his tongue, hearts pounding with anticipation at how he is kissing you like his life depends on it.
The already short dress now rides up to your hips, revealing the thin soaked fabric of your panties, letting your still clothed heat graze on his bulge at every restless squirm. You start grinding on him for more, probably leaving a wet patch on his jeans from how wet you are, gasping out his name every time he answers to your movement.
Your hands fumbling down his coat, tugging on the hem of his shirt, almost whining at him to take it off in your impatience. And he did, pulling them off before playfully tossing them into the backseat, you giggled at that, making him smile more into the kiss.
Fingertips tracing the firm lines of his body, gliding down his chest, following the contour of his stomach. “Mine~” You mumble, it almost sounds possessive.
He definitely hears them, cause you can feel the smile against your lips widens. “Mhmm? Yours.” He murmurs, sounding far too pleased with himself.
Every breath he takes brushes against your lips, colliding with your own, fanning across his skin.
The air inside the car feels warmer now,thick with warmth and unspoken wants. With the windows sealed shut, every breath exchanged trapped inside. Thin layers of fog begin to blur the glass.
Outside, the world grows more distant.
Inside, the space feels smaller.
Closer.
He reaches for the lever beside his seat, reclining them until he’s almost lying flat beneath you, his other hand smoothing over your thigh then up to your waist.
An invitation.
Come here.
Staring up at you before pulling you down to him, the look in his eyes is so tender, so lovingly mismatched with the situation both of you are currently in.
His touch feels so intoxicating in your senses.
Maybe it’s the alcohol in you.
Or maybe just because it’s Ryland.
You can’t stop your giddy fits of giggles, even when they keep dissolving into breathless moans against his mouth, all at the same time.
Not when he’s finally kissing you back.
Not when he keeps pulling you closer.
Ryland pulls off the kiss with a grunt, he guides both of your bodies up again, his hand finds the zipper running down the front of your dress, eagerly pulling them down.
The zipper slides down so easily, you silently thank yourself for choosing this one.
For a moment, Ryland simply stares and he instantly regrets staring.
Beneath the dress is a front clasp bra.
Lacy.
Of course it’s lacy.
“hnngh…” The whimper slips out under his breath, closing his eyes shut just to open them again in a second. He closes them once more, trying to convince himself that looking away is still an option.
It isn’t.
Poor Ryland is so far past saving himself.
Because unlike the zipper, the tiny clasp sitting at the center feels more dangerous. He knows exactly how the clasp works, understanding the mechanics perfectly.
One motion, that’s all it takes.
A single motion.
Pulse racing so violently as he reaches closer.
When his hand finally hovers over the clasp, he breathes so heavily, then he abruptly abandons the whole mission. He folds forward and wraps his arms around you, hiding his face on your chest.
“W-wait.” His voice cracks.
“Wait…”
Taking in a long breath, then another.
Neither helps.
“G-give me— gimme a minute.”
He is actively system failure-ing. Trying and failing to gather whatever remains of his self control.
You watch him quietly.
The bright red ears.
The disastrous breathing.
And the way he’s currently hiding his face on top of the problem rather than solving it.
A smile spreads across your face, somewhere between fondness, absolute adoration and mischiefs.
You should probably feel bad for him.
You don’t.
So while he is having his existential crisis, you unclasp them yourself with him still hiding his face on it.
“Y-you can’t just—” Cuts off, by a kiss on his cheek. “You were taking forever.”
He immediately looks away, biting back his embarrassment.
Unfortunately, he looks back at you.
“Ryland, you’ve literally touched them before.”
He had.
Countless times, actually.
“I k-know…” Of course, he’d never forget how they feel.
That was part of the problem.
He should have been used to this by now, but no amount of familiarity seemed to dull the effect you had on him. It’s the opposite.
Still overwhelming.
Still hopelessly smitten.
Still wondering how it was possible to love someone this much.
Every time you let him this close, he falls a little more in love with you.
Your hands slip between both of your bodies, fumbling with the button of his jeans before trying to tug them lower.
The movement finally pulls him out of his trance.
“O-okay. I’m not… holding back?” He seems to be asking himself as much as he’s asking you, making sure that it’s actually okay for him to.
You lean forward, biting softly on his ear. A gentle warning to stop asking for permission.
Stop thinking.
Just kiss me.
Either way, he gets the message.
Questions abandoned, and Ryland is shoving down his jeans all together with his brief, suddenly moving so quickly, too quick even.
He helps you out of your underwear before laying himself back, cock already standing tall in his hand, grunting softly as he pumps himself ready, taking his sweet time.
“Put it i-in…” You whine, running out of patience from how he is keeping you still, you’re trying to rock your hips forward, but Ryland keeps gliding his length over your entrance, lathering himself in your slick, intentionally not pushing inside, teasing you and himself.
“All pretty for m-me...”
He actually considers, on making you wait a little longer, a little charmed by how adorable you look, how you keep looking at him like every problem you’ve ever had would be solved, if only he’d just take you now.
The longer he looks at you, the harder it becomes to hold his ground.
And honestly? Who is he to deny you now?
Finally, he lets you sink down on him, letting out a strangled moan at how effortlessly he slid right in, his whole body is shuddering at how your wetness engulfs him fully.
“S-so desperate aren’t y-you?” He mutters, shaking his head.
You yelp at the intrusion, pulling up slightly to lessen the pressure, only for him to thrust right up, the movement almost knocks you over, your hands behind you pressed down on both of his thighs to hold yourself up.
His grip feels almost bruising around your hips, holding you still against him, letting you adjust for a while before he starts moving.
“Couldn’t even w-wait till you sobered up properly.”
You nod, agreeing with a stupid grin as he starts picking up the pace, you too start bouncing on him, chasing for more as your body starts remembering him.
The skin slapping sounds filling the car, followed by you moaning even louder. Completely blissed out from the way he stretches you, so full, so good.
Under the streetlights, the car rocks every now and then, swaying along with whatever is unfolding inside. Hard enough to catch the attention of anyone passing by and answer the questioning look before it’s even asked, making them walk away faster immediately.
He reaches out to grab his glasses on the dashboard, farsighted Ryland doesn’t want to miss any little detail that’s playing out in front of him.
Usually, when he works with glasses on, he looks so composed, so put together. But now? It makes him look so wrecked, all sweaty, moaning, and panting under you.
A totally irresistible full course meal, serving himself right in front of you.
“Ry…M-more~” You mewls, pressing yourself onto him harder, trying your best to push him deeper in you, but it’s just not enough.
You pull yourself off him, whining at the emptiness once he slips out.
“Baby—why are y-you—”
Before he could complete his sentence, you flip yourself back facing him, sitting on your knees between his legs before you arch down and hold on to the steering wheel.
Presenting yourself, all for him to devour.
“You—” He exhales shakily. “You’re trouble…”
If anything, he sounds impressed.
“H-hurry up,” One of your hands went across your side pulling on your cheeks apart. “Here~…put it b-back..”
Just the sight to end him, so obscenely beautiful, killing whatever coherent thoughts he has left.
“F-fuck…”
With embarrassing haste, he guides himself back to your entrance, a sound somewhere between a whimper and a groan escapes him as he pushes into you again. One of his hands travels to your breast, palming on them as he pulls you up, and his other arm wraps around your waist, keeping you pressed firmly against him.
Your hands settle over his, needing something to hold on as he starts pounding into you again, and with your head resting on his shoulder, you’re making just the perfect space for him to leave trails of love marks on your neck.
As promised, he doesn’t hold back, he takes complete control of the rhythm, moving your pliant body however he wants. A rare occasion where Ryland loses himself, and you absolutely love it.
There’s something unexpectedly comforting about surrendering the moment to him.
Not because you’ve lost your voice, but because you know he’ll never stop paying attention to you. It lets you relax in a way few things ever do, and with the alcohol still warming your system, everything seems magnified.
All you can feel is the pleasure of finally getting what you’ve been asking for all night.
“hahhn—Yes…y-yes…Ry~”
Failing again and again to keep your mouth shut from all the embarrassing sounds.
How wrecked you sounded only makes him rut into you harder.
Until he catches you hissing softly.
“Hey—” His thrust falters immediately, concern flashing across his face. “What is it?” His hands are quick to check on you.
“Did I hurt you?”
“N-no…” You whine, of course it’s not him. It’s just that your knees are starting to ache from constantly rubbing against the leather seat, but you keep pushing through it.
The position is just too good to give up.
At least until it starts hurting you.
Ryland notices the source of your discomfort immediately
“Must be your knees.” The words leave him in a soft murmur, his hand is already sliding down your leg, careful and reassuring.
“Baby…” Your hesitation confirms it. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Still you don’t answer him.
Not because you don’t hear him.
But you’re too focused on finding a way to not stop any of this, eyes skimming across the cramped space around you.
There has to be one.
There simply has to be.
Then you turn halfway and place a hand against his chest, giving him a gentle push. “Lay d-down.”
“W-what?”
“Lay on the seat…hurry…hnhh—”
“But the front—” Ryland glances toward the windshield.
Unlike the rest of the windows, it isn’t as tinted and judging by the look you’re giving him, he already knows exactly what you’re suggesting.
“I d-don’t care…please~” You plea, nudging him backward with your own weight.
He lets out a strained grunt, glancing toward the windshield again, visibly unconvinced by your complete lack of concern, but the way you look at him makes whatever argument he was preparing die immediately.
With a resigned sigh, he halfheartedly complies, laying himself back with you on top of him.
Once the both of you are settled, you spread your legs open, hiking them on the dashboard.
Ryland immediately panics at your action. “NO—”
At the same time, he does know this position lets him in deeper and it angles him better.
Exactly hitting your spot.
“Fuck—Baby d-don’t—” Ryland is halfway through the protest when it abruptly falls apart at the way your walls flutter. His own body betrays him, hips jerking up into you, completely forgetting that he was trying to argue.
“There—yes y-yesss.”
You guide his hand to press just below your navel, letting him feel the outline of his own length every time he plunges in.
“So g-good…Ry—anhhh” Struggling to form any word as he fucks into you harder.
Ryland is still wary about both of your surroundings, but at the same time he can’t help the way his cock is twitching at how you’re clamping and sucking him in.
He is so close.
If only his eyes didn’t land on the shadow behind the windshield.
His bubble of pleasure bursts.
Mark.
Of course it’s Mark.
Because apparently the universe has decided Ryland has not suffered enough tonight.
Oh he knows that look.
The one that Mark has been giving you ever since you moved in with him. He’s been painfully aware of it.
Ryland hates his guts.
“No… No. NO! He saw!” He cries out, it almost sounds pained.
But you only whine in frustration at how he is stopping so suddenly.
“Ry…hnngh—don’t stop!” The words come out absentmindedly, you’re too lost in the moment.
“Baby, that jerk is ahh—”
Now you’re annoyed at that guy.
Offended, even.
“I-i don’t care...” You grab his hand, holding it against your fold, wanting his attention back to you.
“Ry! Focus on me….”
Impatient, you start writhing over him, clumsily moving his hand to circle your clit, clenching on him harder, nibbling on his ear, jaw, neck. All.
Anything for him to start moving again.
But Ryland is hopelessly stuck in his thoughts.
“hngghh—He s-saw you like this,”
“I-i hate it…” Ryland is visibly bothered by it, babbling out his thoughts as his eyes keep flicking toward the windshield, as if glaring harder at Mark might make him disappear.
He doesn’t.
Which only makes Ryland more irritated.
Mark is seeing something Ryland never wanted anyone else to see.
“They can watch or…w-whatever...hmm.” You pant out as you continue kissing the underside of his jaw.
“Only you—only you get to t-touch.”
That breaks his thread of thoughts.
Ryland forgets what he was angry about, a pleased grunt escapes him at your words.
Because that?
That he likes.
He starts thrusting into you again, harsher in a way that’s just perfect for you.
Your gaze drops down to where you both meet, there lies a sight that gets you whimpering helplessly, a creamy ring forms around the base of his cock.
“Y-yeah?…” He breathes out heavily.
“You’re mine.”
His voice drops lower, driving into you harder and harder, emphasizing his statement.
You nod obediently at him, moans pitching higher when he playfully pinches on your clit, rolling them between his fingers.
“Only you—hnnhh~” Your voice wavers.
“Only y-you can…make me f-feel this way Ry…”
It’s the last full sentence that you manage to say before you feel yourself getting closer, anything after that are just cries of his name.
“I know…I-i know Baby,” His other hand comes up to your chin, turning your face until your eyes meet his.
“Stay with me hmm...”
Eyes so hungry yet so loving, unmistakably tender.
“Let me feel you…p-please.”
That does it, you’re done for.
The look in his eyes and the way he said them.
Your thoughts scatter completely, you cum so hard that you can actually hear…not see, but hear whites, losing awareness of your surroundings for a second.
Your legs fall off the dashboard, clamping on his hand between you with him still buried inside.
He follows right after, gasping with shaky moans as he fills you up full of him, he keeps thrusting slowly, pushing his cum deeper in you as he keeps looking at you through it, savoring every contort of your pleasured face, whispering praises before kissing you again, muffling any sound from you.
He glances back toward the windshield, just in time to see Mark chuckling and raising both hands as he slowly backs away, as if to say, I get it. She’s yours.
His gaze tears away from Mark when he hears your muffled giggles, pulling away from the kiss as he sat the both of you up.
“Shit— are y-you okay?” The post nut clarity got to him all at once, whatever haze he’d been in vanishing in an instant. Hissing a little as he gently pulls out, he turns you to face him, searching your face with worried eyes.
“Hey… look at me.”
Before he can ask anything else, your hands come up to cup his cheeks. Your thumbs stroke across his skin with lazy affection.
“How are you always sooo good~” You slur with a sleepy smile.
Ryland blinks.
Your eyes are heavy, cheeks rosy, smile impossibly soft. You’re still undeniably tipsy, from all the drinks before, from the overwhelming night, and now him.
“You’re still…drunk” He whispers, the words leave a bitter taste in his mouth.
A knot of guilt settles quietly in his chest, Ryland feels like he took advantage of you in some ways.
“I really liked it…” You giggle to yourself. “We should—no.” Shaking your head with exaggerated certainty.
“We will do this again.”
Then you press a lingering kiss on his cheek.
Ryland lets out a quiet laugh, the one that sounds warm but tinged with worry.
“I shouldn’t be doing this to you…” He says quietly, almost to himself.
He pulls you closer into his embrace, resting his forehead against your shoulder as he holds you a little tighter.
He’ll talk about this later, when your head is clear.
“m’sleepy.” You mumble, curling into him with a satisfied sigh.
Ryland quickly covers you with your jacket before carefully carrying you inside.
Everything afterward is gentle.
Washing you clean.
Finding you something comfortable to sleep in.
Then tucking you in bed.
He lies down beside you, watching your peaceful sleeping face, fingers softly caressing through your hair.
“I’m sorry.” He whispers again,
He pulls you into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
The words catch in his throat.
He swallows hard.
It doesn’t help.
His eyes sting anyway, and he lets out a small, shaky sniff before resting his forehead against your hair.
He knows you won’t hear him.
He knows you asked for it.
And he isn’t sure whether he’s apologizing to you, or trying to convince himself.
The guilt lingers long after.
The morning after, you wake up sore all over and the headache doesn’t help at all. You let out a small groan before instinctively burying your face against Ryland’s chest.
Your movement stirs him awake, his eyes blink open, the moment they find you, his concerns kicking away all traces of sleepiness.
“Are you okay?” His hand is already caressing over your hair. “Wait, I’ll get you some water and—”
He quickly scrambles to get up, only for you to quickly catch on his wrist.
“No…stay here” You mumble. “Cuddle me.” You return his hand to your head, silently asking him to continue.
He smiles faintly.
Gently massaging your head, exactly the way you wanted.
For a few quiet moments, neither of you says anything.
Then Ryland’s smile fades.
“Did you…” He gulps. “Did you r-remember what happened?”
You only hum in response.
His heart sinks.
“Baby…” His voice barely comes out. “I’m sorry. I… I shouldn’t have—”
Nuzzling even closer, your muffled grumble cuts him off.
Slowly, you lift your blushing face from his chest, making him a little shocked at how flushed you look.
You are embarrassed? Shy? Or maybe warm from sleep? Ryland can’t tell.
Either way, the sight steals the rest of the apology from his lips.
“No…” You mumble, avoiding his eyes for only a second before blurting it out. “You… you do me…well, so very well.” Followed by a tiny, embarrassed noise as you hide your face against him again.
“I…” He blinks once. Twice.
Ryland has absolutely no idea how to act with that, blushing himself as he hugs you even tighter.
“Th-thank you?”
You snort at how unsure he sounded.
“I meant it, I loved it, always” You mumble softly, smiling into his chest.
“I love you.”
Whatever guilt he’d been carrying slowly subsided, replaced by a quiet warmth and fuzzy bloom in his chest, you caught him off guard all over again.
“I love you so much.” He blurts at once.
“I—I just—I...” He continues just as quickly, stumbling over his words as it refuses to come together.
His cheeks flush pink, and the corners of his brows lift ever so slightly, making him look impossibly smitten.
“I can’t believe I did all that…” You laugh, equally embarrassed and amused of yourself.
“Was I—uh…hot?”
“Are you seriously asking me that?” Ryland lets out a disbelieving laugh. “I wish you could’ve seen yourself.”
The adoration is clear in his voice.
“You’re… everything.”
Your smile, so wide your cheeks start hurting.
“We should do that again.” You bite your lower lips at the thought, mischief already sparkling in your eyes.
“No.” He blurts out.
“WHAT!? Why?”
“Just no.” His expression sours as he remembers what happened with Mark.
“Whyyy? Why? Tell me…” You whine, shaking him slightly even though he doesn’t budge.
“Not telling.”
“Oh come on.” You huff out in disappointment, pouting at him dramatically.
Unable to resist, he steals a quick kiss on your pout, quickly trying to get off the bed.
Your eyes widen as you gasp, leaping off the bed to koala cling him.
“More~ Kiss me again.” You wrap your arms around his neck tightly, making a kissy face.
He keeps on looking away teasingly, making you shake him again.
“Quick, my head is hurting.” The excuse works instantly. Ryland turns right back around, he gently puts you down the bed in worry.
Only for you to catch him by the collar and pull him into the kiss once he’s close enough.
“Bad girl.” He mumbles against your lips, before continuing to kiss you.
That got a hum of approval from you.
The rest of the morning is well spent with kisses and laughter, the kind of comfort that makes neither of you want to leave the bed.
Never does Ryland manage to get anything done that morning.
Every time he fusses over your hangover or tries to do something, you’re already tugging him back for one more kiss, one more cuddle, one more excuse to keep him there.
And Ryland doesn’t mind one bit.
afterwords: i know this might not be everyones cup of tea, but do tell me what you think about it, I WROTE THIS WITH “the more he respects me, the more i’ll let him disrespect me in bed.” IN MIND, idk bruh maybe this is far too self-indulgent, but in my defense i do think Ryland is this type of man y’know, respects you a lot, loves you too much, smitten and all AAAAA IDK BRUH I’M CRAZY, SHE’S LITERALLY ME, BLIND FATE ON RYLAND GRACE.
English isn’t my first language, so there might be a few awkward phrases or grammar mistakes here and there. If you spot any mistakes, feedback is always appreciated.
Thank You so much for reading this -actual Grace❤︎
aka: the aftermath of you explaining to rocky about the concept of “tipping” people
deets: gn! reader, they’re up in space, praying i didn’t get any eridian culture wrong, was written with romantic intent but could honestly be platonic so up to you!
this is a little self-indulgent cause i wrote this after a bad day at work, so 90% of it is word vomit, if you see any grammar/spelling mistakes plz tell me <3
there was a missing screw that needed to be replaced. well, it wasn’t really missing, but it was definitely gone forever now in space. with grace only having two arms it made sense he couldn’t catch the screw he just loosened. luckily, the newest crew member was able to recreate it with ease.
when grace had returned from outside he made sure to thank rocky.
”would grace say rocky was helpful, question?”
“absolutely,” grace replied, taking off his space suit. you’re seated nearby with your eye looking through the microscope, barely paying attention.
“so grace is happy with rocky’s service, question?”
“of course, bud.”
“grace is satisfied then, question?”
this grabs your attention. you move your head back from the microscope, raising a brow. rocky’s questions were a little odd, but grace doesn’t seem to notice and is more focused on putting the suit away so that he doesn’t make the room messy again.
“extremely satisfied.”
“good, good! then please leave rocky a tip!”
“wait, what?”
you both finally look at rocky. with his carapace tilted upwards, rocky has one of his hands outstretched, seemingly waiting for his “tip”.
“a tip! when humans provide good service they are usually given a reward!”
“i—where’d you learn about that??”
“from (name)!”
grace directed his confused look towards you now.
“… i did talk to him about being a barista one time,” you sheepishly smile.
“yes, (name) did! was very educational! made rocky wish to participate, too.” he tapped his “fingers” together as a reminder. “tip, please!”
“wow. you’re, uh, kinda putting me on the spot here. you know, tipping is usually done with cash and we don’t really have any—“
“is ok! rocky will accept any item as a tip.” his arm stretched out further, eagerly waiting.
out of excuses, grace turned to you. “help?”
you giggle. “i think rocky just wants a reward for helping us.”
looking around the room for something, your eyes catch onto the whiteboard that’s behind the desk you were working at and notice one of the magnets attached to the board. you grab it and hand it out to the eridian, your arm and his stretching out further so that it transfers through his ball.
“here you go: for a job well done.”
rocky let out a trill, something equivalent to a laugh that you both decided to not translate (it was nicer to hear the melody rather than the robotic voice go “ha ha ha”).
“(name) is rocky’s favorite human! grace is not. rocky will spit in grace’s food as revenge.”
“huh?!”
you burst out laughing at rocky’s words, but you’re practically keeling over in your seat because of grace’s reaction.
“i told him that we’d sometimes joke about spitting or sneezing in our customers orders if they made us upset.”
“he knows you were joking, right?!”
“he just learned about knock knock jokes, give him a few days. besides,” you manage to calm down enough, still grinning widely at grace, “eridians don’t leak; you’ll be fine.”
“i guess…”
grace fixes his glasses, seemingly having calmed down now that he knows he’s safe until—
Thinking about middle school teacher Ryland Grace and his chaotic, beautiful, grad school student girlfriend.
Ryland is clearly the kind of man who could pull a drop dead gorgeous lady and actually treat her right. The man is brilliant, kind, patient, gentle, funny, and somehow blessed with a face and body that no middle school science teacher has any business possessing. The kind of gorgeous that doesn’t even realize he’s gorgeous, which somehow makes it ten times worse. Then he starts rambling about science with that stupidly earnest enthusiasm of his and suddenly the situation becomes completely unmanageable.
But, since his girl is the beautiful and popular one in the university, some of her peers question her choice “Why him? Why the town’s middle school teacher?”
Especially when there are younger guys her age who are obviously interested in her. Guys that’s not living on a teacher’s salary, someone who plays sports and “cool”, someone that’s as popular as she with his fancy little cars.
Flash news: she was the one who approached him first.
After months of hiding the biggest fattest crush on the handsome science teacher, she finally decided someone had to start plotting. For weeks, she had been seeing him at the library, hiding behind books and stealing glances whenever he wasn’t looking. Eventually, she got tired of waiting for fate to do the work and marched right up to him to say hello.
And thank goodness she was brave enough to make the first move, because he absolutely adores her. He treats her so well, treasures her, and she loves, loves, lovesss her man with all her heart and soul.
Every evening, he picks her up after class on his bike. He used to be self-conscious about it, convinced she deserved someone with a nice shiny car and a bigger paycheck, there’s lots of them around her, but she never seemed to notice. As far as she was concerned getting picked up by him after class is always the best part of her day, especially since the bike gives her an excuse to hold him the entire ride home.
He waits outside the front hall, waving the moment he spots her and opens his arms, she’ll always excitedly launch herself to his bear hug, kissing his cheek every single time.
By now, most people at the university know them, very much used to the sight every evening.
Some days they stop for ice cream and take a walk along the beach if they can make it before sunset.
On days when she only has one class or finishes early, Ryland puts together a small picnic date, stopping by the market for fresh flowers and her favorite desserts before picking her up.
He would always tell her to stand aside and wait while he sets down the blanket, making sure every corner is tucked into the sand so it won’t fly around from the winds, and she knows better than to insist on helping, her part of helping is to beam a very sweet smile for each time he looks up at her.
They stay until sunset, passing the hours talking about sweet nothings. Sometimes they catch up on each other week. Other times, Ryland simply rests his head on her lap, enjoying the ocean breeze while she gently runs her fingers through his hair.
When they’re ready to leave, he helps her put her shoes back on, patting away the sands sticking on her feet and checking for sand inside before slipping them back on her. She always rewards him with a soft lingering peck on his lips, each time getting him wanting more.
And if she’s feeling particularly silly, she insists on sitting in the basket at the front of his bike instead of riding on the back. Ryland worries the entire time she’ll fall, but she always laughs the loudest every single time they do this.
She is, without a doubt, the happiest version of herself when she’s with him.
And she makes him feel like he doesn’t have to be anyone else. Not Dr. Grace, not Mr. Grace, not the scientist everyone expected him to be. Just Ryland.
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cw: smut, MDNI‼️, masturbation, sex toy use, dry(wet) humping, oral f!receiving, face sitting, multiple orgasm, overstimulation, handjob, teasing, edging, power play, orgasm denial, praise, messy, NOSE!!! yeah his nose is very much involved, and ofc the glasses stays ON.
summary: Ryland has been spending far too much time at the lab, neglecting his girlfriend in favor of science. Unfortunately for him, she has evidence, grievances, and a very specific punishment in mind.
Ryland barely notices the silence in the house when he gets home.
After another exhausting day at the lab, his mind was still occupied with unfinished reports and tomorrow’s reviews. He removed his jacket as he walked down the hallway, already looking forward to collapsing into bed.
Then he hears it.
A breathless voice from behind the bedroom door.
“Ry~” His footsteps falter.
“Please…ahh-”
The sound’s soft, desperate.
“R-ryland.” Ryland’s head snaps up.
Was she calling for me?
For a moment, he simply stares at the closed door.
As he moves closer, he catches another sound coming from inside. A faint, steady buzzing that makes realization dawn all at once.
His hand freezes on the doorknob. “Is she?”
The moment he slowly pushes open the bedroom door, there you are sprawled across the bed, writhing and panting.
“hngghhh…”
“Need him-…ahh”
A few hours earlier, while going through one of your drawers, you stumble across something you haven’t seen in years. A vibrator your friend gave you as a joke for your birthday nearly three years ago. At the time, you laughed so hard you nearly cried, tossing it aside and forgetting about it entirely.
Now, though, with Ryland buried in work and your patience wearing thin, the forgotten gift suddenly feels a lot more useful than funny.
For weeks, you’ve barely seen him. He’s gone before you wake up and rarely makes it home before you fall asleep. Every plan has been postponed, every moment together interrupted by work.
The frustration has been building for longer than you want to admit.
And today, you finally have enough.
Turning the dusty box over in your hands, you let out a quiet laugh. It doesn’t seem as ridiculous as it once did. After a moment of hesitation, you pull it from the packaging and switch it on.
The sudden buzz makes you jump.
“WOAH!” You mutter, biting back a nervous smile.
That was strong…
A strange mix of embarrassment and amusement settles in your chest. The whole thing still feels a little ridiculous, if you’re being honest.
Then again, so is waiting around forever for Ryland to finish his research.
“Honestly, that’s on him for being too busy.” You huff, hesitantly pushing your shorts and panties down.
I miss him.
With a sigh, you sink back against the pillows, staring at the toy in your hand.
“How am I even supposed to use this?” You mutter. “Do I need to… prepare myself or something?”
You wait for an answer that never comes.
Whatever.
At this point, you don’t care anymore.
A soft hiss escapes your lips as the toy brushes against your folds. Moving it cautiously, you guide it with gentle, tentative strokes, trying to get used to the unfamiliar sensation.
The moment you switch it on, the sudden vibration makes you jump.
“Oh—” Your grip tightens instinctively. The feeling is startling enough to make your breath catch.
It feels good, but all it really does is remind you of what’s missing. Ryland.
You find yourself imagining his touch, not because this feels bad, but because it isn’t him.
“Ry~”
His name slips from your lips before you can stop it and to your annoyance, your eyes begin to sting.
Everything feels wrong.
You’re frustrated, yes, but more than that, you’re lonely.
You don’t expect to feel this way while being in a relationship. Not when Ryland cares about you as much as he does, not when he always makes time for you whenever he can. But lately, work has taken him away piece by piece.
If he were here, he’d know exactly what to do.
He’d pull you into his arms, kiss your forehead, and remind you that you aren’t alone.
And right now, that’s what you miss most.
It’s been nearly twenty minutes, and all you feel is frustrated exhaustion.
“hngghhh…need him”
The desperate cry leaves your lips, completely unaware that Ryland is standing in the doorway.
He freezes.
For a moment, he can only stare.
He watches how you slowly shift onto your knees, settling into a position that feels familiar. Your face is mushed into the pillow with your ass up. Usually, he is there behind you, his warm hands on your hips, his lips softly nipping at your shoulder as he pounded deliciously inside of you.
“Fuck…” Ryland breathes.
He can feel his own pants tightening at the sight, he can see everything, all bare and glistening.
Is it wrong that he finds you a little cute?
You look so frustrated, trying so hard to take care of yourself and getting absolutely nowhere.
Your hand tightens around the toy as you move yourself against it, searching for more pressure, more friction, anything.
But nothing feels right.
Nothing compares to him.
A wave of embarrassment washes over you.
This is pathetic.
You’re alone, desperate, and still can’t get what you want.
“Ry—hnnghhh…” The toy slips from your grasp as a broken sob escapes your throat.
You know you aren’t getting anywhere like this.
Before you realize what you’re doing, you reach for one of Ryland’s pillows instead, hugging it tightly against your chest.
The familiar scent only makes everything worse.
Your sobs grow louder.
From the doorway, Ryland feels his chest tighten. The guilt hits him immediately.
You miss him.
Yet when he watches you bury your face into the pillow, clinging to it like it might somehow replace him, another surge of heat curls through his stomach.
Especially when you start humping against it.
His jaw tightens as he watches. Everything makes it even harder to look away. He can feel himself reacting, his cock is twitching at your desperation.
And before he can stop himself, he walks closer to the bed.
“w-want more…hngghh”
Your voice cracks as you shift into another position, searching desperately for something, anything, that will finally help.
Still nothing.
Then suddenly, you feel a familiar warmth on your hips.
“AH—” You gasp, whipping your head around.
Ryland…
With an almost cocky smile tugging at his lips, the sight of it only makes your embarrassment worsen.
Your lips tremble.
The moment your eyes meet his, tears spill freely down your cheeks. With a distressed sound, you throw yourself forward, burying your face into the pillow.
“Y-you are so m-mean!”
Your accusation comes out muffled between sobs.
Immediately, Ryland’s expression falters. The guilt he’s been feeling hits him all over again.
“Baby~ i’m sorry”
“How l-long have y-you been watching me?” You ask, only peeking with one eye as your face is still hidden in the pillow.
“uh- I…” Ryland rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.
His hesitation tells you everything. A mortified whine escapes your throat.
He’s seen the whole thing.
“This is all because of Y-YOU…” You lash out, pointing a trembling finger at him.
“M-me?” Ryland stutters, also pointing at himself.
“You’re always busy and working and all…ughhhhh” You let out a frustrated groan.
“You don’t have time for me anymore.” The words dissolve into another miserable wail.
“And i-…” Your voice cracks.
“I just needed you…”
The rest of your words become another sob as you bury your face deeper into the pillow.
Ryland is completely torn between feeling guilty and being worked up. You being all whiny and needy for him is too much of a turn on.
But at the same time, he knows he deserves some of the blame. Lately, the research has taken up so much of his attention that he hasn’t been giving you nearly as much time as you’re used to.
So without a word, he slowly climbs onto the bed behind you. His hand glides up your leg, over your thigh, before finally settling on your hip again.
“Baby…” He murmurs. “I’ll do anything to make it up to you, hmm?”
The back of his hand gently traces along your side, slowly caressing the soft skin of your waist.
“We can go as many times as you want,” He continues, leaning closer as he lightly nibbles at your ear.
“However you want.”
He adds it, leaving him just as eager as you are.
The promise is whispered against your skin.
He gently takes hold of your shoulder and turns you to face him. Brushing a loose strand of hair from your face, he presses a soft kiss to your forehead.
You don’t answer him, just quietly wrapping your arms around him, sinking into the warmth of his body as a content hum escapes your lips.
Ryland continues his trail of affection, pressing kisses to your temple, then each of your cheeks. When he kisses the tip of your nose, a small giggle slips from you before he finally captures your lips in his.
His kiss is slow, not demanding but deep. The gentle pace draws soft moans from you, each one swallowed and answered with an equally soft grunt from Ryland.
Slowly, he slips down from your embrace, dragging his lips toward your neck, leaving trails of wet kisses as his warm breath shudders against your skin.
He continues kissing his way down until he reaches the hem of your top, slowly pushing the fabric upward and exposing just enough skin. Grazing the tip of his nose from your navel back up to your still half-covered breast, he continues kissing over the fabric.
As if not having you close enough, he nuzzles his face against the soft curves of your chest, groaning at their softness.
He begins sucking on your nipples, leaving a wet patch on top of the fabric. If anything, the thin fabric acting as a barrier only adds to the friction with every drag of his tongue.
“Ry~” You call softly, your fingers tangling in his hair.
The feeling of you tugging softly on his hair only makes him realize how much he has missed this too.
Missed being this close to you.
Missed hearing your sweet sounds.
Missed feeling your hands on him.
Just as much as you miss him.
With both of your bodies still lying sideways, he continues kissing and nuzzling his way down your body until he is finally met with the sight of your glistening heat.
A sharp moan escapes his lips.
Carefully hiking one of your legs over his shoulder, he presses a soft kiss against your folds before teasingly nudging your sensitive bud with the tip of his nose.
A whimper breaks free from your lips at the contact.
He knows exactly what he is doing.
The frame of his glasses pokes against your skin as he buries his face completely in you. With his nose still pressing firmly against your clit, his tongue licks a wide stripe along your soaked folds.
“So wet and sweet for me.” Ryland murmurs, his voice roughened by a groan.
Your thighs instinctively closing around him, and Ryland’s head spins at the feeling of them clamping against him.
Both of his hands slide over your ass, pulling you even closer to him and holding you in place.
His tongue starts pushing past your entrance, drawing a sharp gasp from you as the new sensation makes your hips rock against his face.
One of his hands trails up to the small of your back, pushing gently to encourage your movements.
“That’s it, Princess…”
He pulls back just enough to talk.
“Just like that. The same way you were using my pillow.”
His eyes flicker up to meet yours through his lopsided glasses. Even though you can’t see it, you can feel a teasing smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
An embarrassed whimper escapes you at the memory of him catching you earlier, but you just can’t stop rocking your hips.
With his tongue delving deeper inside, your body starts writhing.
“T-too much—ahkk…Ry—” You choke out the words, trying to get away from him.
Your moans only grow louder as he continues, heat coiling tighter and tighter inside you.
“Ry!”
You yelp, and Ryland only moans in response, tipping you over the edge.
Eyes rolling back as your legs tremble through your release, broken moans spilling from your lips while he refuses to stop.
Suddenly, Ryland rolls you onto your knees before you even recover.
You try to push yourself up, but his hand immediately pulls you down flush against his face again, keeping you exactly where he wants you.
“hnnhhh-no…” You protest weakly, the sound coming out as little more than a squeak.
Your head falls back when his tongue goes right back inside of you, his hands sliding to your waist, tightening their grip as he guides your movements.
Ryland only has one mission tonight, to make up for every moment he has spent neglecting your needs.
Tears blur your vision as the pleasure becomes almost unbearable, but you love the dizzy, lightheaded feeling it gives you.
So you try moving as he demands.
“Yeah…r-ride my face, come on.” Ryland manages to huff out between breaths.
Your breath hitches at his words.
Both hands on either side of his head, your fingers dig into the sheets, crumpling them beneath your grip as you struggle to hold on, trying your best to roll your hips while following the firm guidance of his hands.
Ryland is practically suffocating himself, but he is exactly where he wants to be, drinking in every drip of you and basking in your reaction, every trembling movement, every desperate sound that falls from your lips.
“Ah—hAH…Ry-Ryland!” You almost scream.
Ryland just hums in response, focusing on getting you to finish.
Your body convulses, moans turning into faint little cries as you come again. Tears falling at the sight of his face covered in your slick.
You move quickly, turning around in an attempt to escape his grip, but Ryland easily pulls you back, seating you on his face once again.
“One m-more…please, Baby.” He pleads, breathing deeply against your folds.
“Ca-can’t—”
You desperately try to get away, but he just shakes his head, denying your plea.
This time, however, your back is facing him. The new position seems to encourage him even more. He presses his face deeper, breathing you in with an almost possessive desperation.
The feeling of him down there is so filthy that fresh tears start running down your face.
You scream out at the friction of his stubble brushing on your clit, far too much for your already sensitive body.
“Wait! Ry—! nnghh…”
You paw at his thighs, trying to push him away, only to feel his chin press harder with every frantic movement.
And that snaps something inside you.
Your whole body starts shaking uncontrollably, mind going blank, jaw falling open as you gasp desperately for air, squirting out streams of liquid drenching his face. Some of them even got on his glasses, trickling down to the bed.
“hanngh…S-sorry, m’sorry” You blabber, wishing you can stop yourself from dripping more.
You’re full on crying now, never expecting your body to react this way.
And Ryland is having the time of his life.
“Fuck~” He can’t help the whimper that escapes him at the sight of how much you let out. “That’s it.”
Yeah.
That’s it!
Your gaze lands on the toy from earlier.
With trembling fingers, you reach for it while your other hand busies itself with fumbling at his trousers.
Ryland doesn’t even notice what you’re doing.
So pussy drunk, completely focused on lapping you clean, far too occupied to pay attention to the mischievous look spreading on your face.
The moment you have the toy in your hand, you quickly switch it on, pressing it on his cock and holding them firmly together.
“W-what—AGH!” Ryland lets out a strangled cry.
A triumphant grin tugs at your lips.
Now, it’s his turn.
And you aren’t about to let him off easy.
His hands finally release their hold on you, only to clutch at the sheets as he struggles to hold himself together.
You slide down to straddle his stomach. Looking back at him through your lashes, you give him your best puppy eyes.
“However I want.”
You remind him sweetly.
The teasing smile on your lips only widens.
Once again, Ryland isn’t sure whether he should be turned on or alarmed by this.
The vibrations feel so good they nearly roll his eyes to the back of his head.
“Oh~…mmph—”
Without even realizing it, his hips jerk upward.
“You’re liking this, don’t you?” You pout, sounding almost offended by how much he seems to be enjoying himself.
Abruptly, you pull away, stopping everything.
“Fuck—” Ryland’s eyes shoot open at the sudden loss of contact.
“W-why’d you stop?”
He tries to sit up, only to be pushed back down by you settling on top of him. He could easily overpower you, but he enjoys being toyed with like this far more than he cares to admit.
“You’ve been a very bad boy, Ryry.”
You declare firmly, shaking your head in mock disapproval while wearing the most spoiled expression imaginable.
“I told you to stop, but you were being so mean.”
Ryland stares up at you through glassy eyes.
Amused by the sudden change in attitude, he decides to play along, completely unaware of the sneaky little plan already forming in your head.
“I-i’m sorry, Princess. I promise, i’ll be good”
He says it while shamelessly bucking his hips upward.
“Hmph.” You huff out sassily, refusing to drop the act as you press the vibrator against him again.
Ryland let out a shaky relief moan, instinctively chasing after the feeling, his hips rolling into your hand in search of more.
You let him enjoy it for a while.
Then you stop everything.
Again.
“NO! hannh—”
The protest bursts from him immediately.
“You. Are. Being. Greedy.” You scolded, jabbing your finger on his thigh at every word.
“No moving until I say so.”
Ryland nods dumbly at you, agreeing without hesitation.
Far too quickly, honestly.
Anything to make you start again.
The moment the vibrations return, his eyes flutter shut. Before long, he is panting openly, every breath coming out uneven and shaky.
You occasionally twist your wrist, adding more pressure as his precum begins dripping out.
“C-close…” Ryland breathes.
Only for you to stop all over again.
Testing him.
Punishing him.
And maybe enjoying your newfound power a little more than you should.
You repeat the process several more times, edging him, then stopping right before he can finish. Again and again, leaving him writhing and whimpering pathetically beneath you.
“Don’t you dare cum until I tell you to.”
His cock is now swollen and red, almost hurting, so hard and ridged with veins standing out prominently. Every texture of him gets soft whimpers slipping from your lips.
“Please~”
Tears start streaming from his eyes.
“Please—l-let me cum…” He begs.
Fuck…
He looks so adorable like this, cheeks dampened with tears, eyes puffy behind those pretty glasses.
Is this the same man who has you trembling and squirting earlier? Yes.
You start rubbing yourself on him, wetting the shirt that is still covering him.
“hahnnn~ I missed you so much Ryry.” You moan out, grinding against him harder.
“Yes…y-yes…miss y-you too, so much.” Ryland manages to say in between his pretty moans.
You can feel the firm lines of his muscles beneath the fabric, the texture only adding to the friction.
Ryland might intentionally tense them.
Eager to please you.
And far too worked up by the sight of you using him however you please.
You slide forward, letting your folds touch against him, body reacting instantly, growing even more sensitive from the contact, more of your slick dripping onto him.
Ryland lets out a strangled cry, realizing what you’re doing.
Slowly laying your body onto his, you call for him softly.
“Ry~.”
The sound of his name immediately catches his attention.
“Touch me…” You whisper.
Finally.
One of his hands instantly squeezes on your tits, fingers nipping and flicking on your nipples, his other hand moves down to help you hold on his length close to you. The tip pushes against your clit at every movements as it vibrates adding to the stimulation.
Both of you are now a moaning mess, desperately rubbing against each other.
One of your hands tangles in his hair, softly tugging at them. Each pull draws louder moans from him, while your own breaths come out in heavy pants against his cheek.
With everything building between you, neither of you has much composure left.
Yet Ryland still holds himself back, patiently waiting for your permission even after being denied countless times.
“C-cum on me, Ryry.”
You manage to choke out.
His entire body tenses.
“Make a m-mess.”
That’s all he needed.
“HANGHH—!”
His hips jerk upward as both of his arms wrap tightly around your waist. Finally letting go, spurting out ropes of hot cum landing on your skin.
You can’t help yourself, back arching at the overwhelming pleasure washes through your body at the same time, messing all over the bed.
The toy slips from your grasp as you finally let it go, leaving both of you trembling.
“T-thank you, thank y-you, Princess…hnnghhh”
Ryland’s words dissolve into incoherent moans as he continues to cling to you, still letting go, so overwhelmed after holding himself back for so long.
“hmmhh~ so much cum.” You moan out, enjoying the sticky mess out of him.
Ryland’s body shamelessly reacting to it, making one last tiny spurt even after he finally stopped.
You softly suckle at his ear, trying to soothe both him and yourself as you slowly come down from your high.
For several long moments, neither of you can do anything but cling to each other, lazily kissing each other’s warm skin.
Until.
“C-can you uh—do me…properly…”
You ask, voice so small as Ryland’s lips still sucking on wet marks along your neck.
He lets out a soft chuckle before answering.
“Okay, just give me a minute hmmm?”
You nod, smiling sheepishly as you climb off him and immediately curling up at his side.
Let’s just say, you end up pressed into the mattress, screaming all night long.
afterword: it’s crazy how his glasses didn’t break during all that… and now that i’ve finish this, i realize this could be from the same universe as “Needy” hehehe.
English isn’t my first language, so there might be a few awkward phrases or grammar mistakes here and there. If you spot any mistakes, feedback is always appreciated.
ANYWAYS, i’m postponing the steamy rom-com cause it’s longer than i expected, so i’m offering this one instead.
Thank You so much for reading this -actual Grace❤︎
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM THAT YOU NOTICED ABOUT THE STAMMER🫣
i was overthinking it a-lot since this all is still new to me, i was so scared thinking i ended up making them sound cringe, I FELT SO STUPID FOR READING THEM OUT LOUD AND CHECKING THEIR FLOWS TO MAKE SURE I PUT THEM AT THE CORRECT POSITION.
speaking about more, i'm currently working on something, but i'm torn in between making them a one-shot or a mini series like this one again....
if, you guys prefer oneshots, i'll try keeping them short without cutting the emotions i'm trying to depict.
cw: fluff-smut, MDNI‼️, age gap (both are consenting adults), soft!dom!Ryland, subby Ryland (AT THE SAME DAMN TIME), even subbier reader, pathetic needy idiots, emotional sex, oral f!recieving, unprotected sex, breeding kink, praise, lots of whimpering, crying during sex, hurt/comfort, slight angst, THE GLASSES STAYS ON! again everyone say thank you to the glasses.
<Part.4 Home
Final Part. Needy
When you finally arrived, he didn’t wake you. He simply carried you upstairs in his arms.
He felt so Safe. Warm. Familiar.
Your eyes fluttered open slightly as he stepped into the apartment, instinctively curling closer against him before realizing where you were
Home.
Ryland looked down at you then, those beautiful blue eyes softened behind his slightly crooked glasses as his hand brushed gently along your cheek.
Neither of you spoke. There was no need to.
The silence felt different now, no longer distant. Just grateful to be back in each other’s arms.
He leaned down first, softly pressing a lingering kiss against your forehead before another softer one near your cheek.
Your arms circled around his neck in response. Ryland exhaled quietly at the feeling, he had missed that more than he knew how to say.
He carefully laid you down onto the bed, never fully pulling away.
His hands lingered at your waist while his lips slowly kisses along your jaw, unhurried, almost reverent.
Your breath trembled softly at the familiar warmth of him. The faint scrape of his stubble against your skin sent shivers down your spine, your back arching slightly before you could stop yourself. Your lips parted as small pants escaped you.
Ryland paused immediately at the reaction, eyes lifting his gaze to yours for a moment, making sure you wanted this.
“C-can i…” Ryland asked softly, fingers playing with the zipper of your dress. The hesitation in his voice made your chest flutter. Even now, even after everything, he was still asking.
Still making sure you were truly here with him.
Your fingers curled gently into his shirt, pulling him closer, something in Ryland’s expression softened completely at the realization that you were leaning into him just as desperately.
Just as needy for him.
Slowly, painfully slowly, he drew the zipper of your dress down. You let out a small whine at his deliberate pace, impatient in a way that made warmth flicker through his tired eyes.
You buried your face against his neck, nipping lightly at the sensitive skin there, earning a breathy moan out of him.
Ryland’s head dipped briefly, forehead pressing against your shoulder, trying to steady himself.
“You have no idea what you do to me” He murmured weakly, fingers tightening slightly at your waist. Something inside him finally snapped, Ryland’s restraint gave way.
His lips pressing a lingering kiss against the curve where your neck met your shoulder, brushing the tip of his nose lightly upward toward your chin.
Then he kissed you, fully this time. Capturing your lips with his, hungrily, he had been holding himself back for far too long.
The kiss was not rough, not careless but deeply starved, filled with weeks of longing and every unsaid thing that had been sitting between the two of you.
His breath uneven, moaning into your mouth as he pulled you closer instinctively.
Your fingers tangled in his hair. “Ry…” You whimpered softly calling out to him between his kisses, completely breathless and you love it.
You had missed this. You missed him. The way he melted whenever you pulled him closer.
The room slowly filled with uneven breathing, soft broken sounds, both of you a moaning mess, the quiet desperation of two people who had spent too long pretending they could survive apart.
Eventually Ryland pulled back, just enough to catch his breath, forehead falling against yours as he tried to steady himself. But the second the distance formed, you frowned immediately.
“N-no…. hmphh” Still chasing his lips. “Need m-more. Please~” You whine, pulling on him to kiss you again.
So needy you’ll take anything he gave you.
Your fingers tugged desperately at the hem of his shirt, clearly wanting it off him already. Ryland understood immediately, one hand moved to unbutton his shirt while his lips found the shell of your ear, nibbling softly.
The closeness alone made your knees so weak.
His hot breath brushing against your sensitive skin sent warmth rushing through you, dizzying and overwhelming after spending so long without him.
“So needy for me hmm” He murmured softly, not mocking, not cruel. But pure fondness and he’s completely ruined by it.
You only whined in response, clinging tighter to him.
Ryland guided the strapless dress down your body, his touch gentle enough to make your breath hitch with every inch of your skin revealed.
His lips followed after his hands, soft, open mouthed kisses pressed along your shoulder, your collarbone, down to your chest, the softness of your skin making his breathing uneven all over again. You shivered beneath him instantly.
Ryland paused briefly to look up at you, the expression on his face alone made you soaked. Not hunger. Not lust alone. But something devastatingly affectionate, the same way you had always looked at him.
Dragging his lips softly towards the curve of your breast before taking your nipple into his mouth.
“hnngh~Ry…”
His tongue so warm against the sensitive bud, sucking gently as soft pants slipped out your lips. You writhed beneath him while he switched between the two, leaving scattered love marks trailing across your skin.
Your palms come up to your mouth in a pathetic attempt to hide the needy sounds escaping you. Ryland hadn’t even done much, just being himself, touching you so gently, was enough to leave you squirming with embarrassment, how easily your body responded to him.
“D-don’t….please” His hand gently took yours, kissing on your knuckles, as he moans softly against your fingers. His glossy eyes peered up at you from behind his glasses, so desperate he almost seemed tempted to suck on them.
“Let me listen to you please….hmmph-“
You have no idea, how desperately his hips humping against the sheet, chasing any kind of friction he could get.
He couldn’t believe he was being allowed to hold you like this again.
Softly kissing your hand as if asking for permission once more, he let his lips wander lower until they hovered just above the delicate lace hugging your hips.
His eyes flickered up to yours briefly before he caught the thin fabric gently between his teeth, slowly easing it down.
Ryland let out a soft moan at the sight revealed beneath, the glistening slick gathered between your folds, clinging to the thin lace before it finally slipped away completely.
You hid your burning face behind your palms, small embarrassed sounds slipping out before you could stop them, earning a quiet, fond huff of amusement from him.
His fingers brushing through your folds, softly circling your bud. You gasp at the sensation. “Let me take care of you hmm” He hummed softly.
Ryland settled himself between your legs, guiding them gently over his shoulders as his hands smoothing along your thighs in quiet reassurance.
You can feel his warm breath against your folds making you twitch beneath him.
Just as he reached up to remove his glasses, your hands shot out instinctively.
“NO—” The word came out embarrassingly loud.
You froze immediately afterward, both hands flying to your mouth as your wide eyes met his.
Ryland blinked, completely caught off guard.
“…What?” He asked, half amused as your face burned more.
“N-nothing,” you mumbled uselessly hiding behind your hands.
His gaze narrowing slightly as realization slowly dawned on him.“…You want me to keep them on?” The teasing note in his voice only making your embarrassment worse.
You squeezed your eyes shut for a second before giving the tiniest nod imaginable.
Ryland let out the quietest, most wrecked sounding laugh.
“Baby…” He murmured, voice dropping lower as he leaned closer again, one arm braced above your head. “Tell me” fingers brushing your jaw until you looked back at him again. “What is it?”
You shook your head immediately, too embarrassed to say it out loud. Yet your body betrayed you anyway, slick shamelessly dripping between your thighs at his taunting, the answer is obvious. And he noticed.
It’s his beautiful blue eyes behind the glasses, the way he looked at you through them, they made your stomach twist hopelessly every single time.
Ryland’s expression softened at your reaction, though there was still something quietly persistent in his gaze. “Sweetheart,” He murmured again, almost coaxing now. “Use your words.”
“I-I don’t know…” You mumbled weakly.
“You do.” His thumb brushed lightly across your cheek as he cupped your face more fully in his hand.
You feel so helpless beneath his stare. “It’s just…” You whispered shyly, avoiding his eyes for half a second before looking back at him again.
“Y-you look so pretty with them on.”
Ryland stared at you for a second, your confession completely short-circuited him.
Pretty -Of all things, you thought he looked pretty.
A breathy laugh escaped him, almost disbelieving, his glasses slipping slightly lower down his nose as he looked at you through them again, very much on purpose this time. And judging by the way your thighs instinctively tried to close, he knew exactly what that look was doing to you now.
His hand slid gently along your thigh before his knee nudged between them, coaxing them back open slowly. “After all this time, it’s still the glasses?” an almost cocky smirk tugged at his lips.
Ryland’s thumb brushed along your cheek once more before his gaze drifted downward, visibly savoring just how flustered you had become beneath him.
“Then keep your eyes on me,” He said, voice lower now, almost demanding. “Enjoy the view while i take care of you, hm?”
Before you can even react, down he went on you.
The tip of his nose brushed teasingly against your clit, his tongue followed, softly licking through your slick heat, savoring every single drop of you.
“hngh~…Ry-“ You choked out, thighs trembling as eyes rolled back, your fingers tangling desperately in his hair. Trying to hold yourself grounded.
His grip on your thighs tightened, pulling you closer. He moaned, completely ruined by the taste of you, the soft sound he made traveled straight through your body.
You could feel him kissing your folds, leaving you shaking beneath him. Tears blurred your vision, you could barely focus on what he was doing anymore.
Still you can imagine him perfectly, Ryland between your thighs kissing you down there like he could stay there forever.
So filthy. So lewd. So painfully tender.
Your legs clamped around his head, your back arching helplessly against his face.
Ryland swore he could come from this alone, the feeling of your thighs squeezing him, only making him groan deeper against your heat.
“C-close…” You whimpered, voice trembling as the word barely left your lips. “Wan-wanna cum…”
The way he held you so carefully even while completely losing himself in you, you are so overwhelmed by how attentive he was being.
Ryland looked up briefly then, face flushed and glistening with your wetness, his eyes hungry and soft at the same time behind the slightly crooked glasses. “Come on, cum on me Baby” He murmured quietly. “No more making you question how much I want you.”
Your breath hitched sharply at his words. That was the last thing you need from him, reassurance spoken so softly while he looked at you like that.
Your hips rolled helplessly against his mouth before you finally fell apart with a loud cry, Ryland gently holding you through your high.
Before he could lean down again, your hands reached for him, gently pushing at his shoulder.
“N-no~… hnggh,” You cried softly, still trembling. “Want y-you… want you closer…n-now”
Ryland immediately lifted his head, quickly wiping his face before moving back up to you. He kissed away the tears gathered at the corners of your eyes. Then your cheeks. Your lips.
All you could do was stare at him with your teary eyes, silently pleading at the soft smile on his face.
“Want you i-inside…” You finally whispered shakily.
“Please Ryry~”
The nickname slipped out so naturally it startled both of you for a second.
The second you realized what you’d called him, a tear rolled down in embarrassment, overwhelmed all over again as you buried your flustered face hiding in his neck.
Ryland completely melted above you.
A strained moan escaped him as he pressed his forehead briefly against your shoulder, the uncomfortable tightness in his pants suddenly almost unbearable now, mixed with something far softer.
Nervousness. Like it was the first time he had ever touched you like this.
You answered him gently by trailing slow kisses along his neck, your hands wandered lower down his body, carefully freeing him before wrapping your hand around him, slowly stroking his painfully hard length.
Ryland’s entire body shuddered the second you touched him.
The arm holding up his weight trembled visibly, hips bucking desperately into your hand with helpless little gasp.
The realization made your cheeks warm. Still the same man who fell apart so easily for you.
“E-easy…” You whispered shakily against his skin, pressing soothing kisses just beneath his jaw while your other hand rubbed gently along the back of his neck.
Ryland let out another shaky breath at the sound of your voice, eyes squeezing shut behind those slightly crooked glasses as your hand guided him slowly into your heat.
Your head tipped back immediately at the feeling of him pressing into you inch by inch, both of you trembling from how overwhelming the closeness felt after so long apart.
Ryland paused halfway, clearly trying to give you time to adjust while steadying himself, trying so hard to last longer in your warmth. His forehead dropping briefly against yours as his breathing turned uneven.
But it was s like your body recognizes him, something so needy sparking through you.
Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer until all of him is buried deep inside you.
A loud broken moan tore out from you.
“hngh…so full~” you whimpered weakly, fingers clutching desperately at his shoulders.
“Fuck~… B-baby…” Ryland breathed out shakily, voice catching midway as he felt your walls fluttering around him.
His composure cracked completely for a second, head falling against your neck while his arms tightened around you protectively, almost like he couldn’t decide whether to hold you gently or lose himself in you entirely.
Your pretty eyes looked completely ruined beneath him, gaze hazy and unfocused searching for him as you roll your hips upwards wanting more.
A soft, wrecked sound escaped Ryland before he answered your silent plea with a deeper thrust. His hips snapping forward hard enough to pull choked moan from your throat.
“M-more~” You pleaded, fingers clutching at his shoulders. Your needy little sound almost made him come on the spot.
“There you are…” He murmured, one hand sliding up your waist to steady you as your body writhed at every drag of his length.
“So impatient” He whispered softly, though the fondness in his voice made it impossible for it to sound like a complaint. Especially when his hips moved again almost immediately afterward, pumping in and out of you perfectly, giving you exactly what you asked for.
He was savoring every reaction you gave him, every trembling breath, every helpless little sound spilling from your lips, every little flutter of your walls around him. And judging by the way Ryland looked completely wrecked already, he was just as gone as you were.
“Want y-you deeper…plea-aggh~” Your needy plea barely left your lips, feeling like somehow you still couldn’t have him close enough.
Ryland effortlessly flipped you over, pushing you down into the bed as he rutted into you. His chest pressed flush against your back, wet slapping sound filling the room while filthy whines spilled from him with every harder thrust, ringing shamelessly in your ears.
“Ry-Ryland hnggh… ah~” Too lost in the pleasure, you start crying out for him, your hand reaching back desperately searching for him to hold onto.
Ryland caught it instantly, threading his fingers tightly with yours before pressing your joined hands into the sheets beside your head.
“I-i’m sorry….ahhh~i’m so lewd….” You cried out weakly, words dissolving into broken little sounds. “Can’t help-ahhh-myself..., f-feel so good….y-you’re so good to me”
Ryland’s breath shuddered hard behind you at that. His other arm wrapping firmly around you, keeping you pulled flush against his chest like he couldn’t bear even the slightest distance between you.
“sshhh….it’s okay…arghh” He groaned out, shaking. “I’ve got you baby, hmm~ such a good girl” He hummed against your shoulder, voice rough and uneven. “Just hold onto me.”
You went pliant under him at how easily he slips in and out of you with no resistance.
Both of you can feel your highs winding tighter and tighter.
“I-inside…” You plea immediately.
“Want a-all of you- ahh…” Ryland buried his face against your shoulder with a broken sound, clearly struggling to hold himself together now that you were clinging to him like this again.
He’s already so sensitive, every grazed of you around him’s almost painful. Every trembling movement, every desperate little sound you made only pulled him closer to the edge.
“C….cu- hnghh…” You couldn’t finish your sentence as your your heat clenched around him hard, spasming, soaking him with your wetness with a cry from your throat, fingers squeezing desperately around his as pleasure crashed through you all at once.
Ryland followed almost immediately after, completely undone by the feeling of you falling apart in his arms, lips chanting your name.
His glasses slipping down barely hanging onto the bridge of his nose at the jerk of his body, his length pulsing as he spilled deep inside you filling you full of him, still holding on to you tightly against his chest, breathing hard.
“hnnggh…So warm” you purred at the feeling of the sticky mess already leaking out of you.
“Baby….you’re too good to me” Ryland whispered shakily afterward, completely spent and trembling, he presses soft exhausted kisses against your shoulder and the back of your neck like he still couldn’t believe you were here.
The room had finally gone quiet.
Only uneven breathing remained as both of you slowly came down from the waves of pleasure.
Ryland finally let himself collapse beside you, immediately pulling you into his chest while tugging the sheets over both of your bodies. His fingers moved slowly through your hair, neither of you spoke for a while, the silence settled comfortably around the two of you.
There was nothing left to explain anymore.
You tilted your head slightly to look up at him, chin resting against his chest while your eyes traced every familiar feature you adored, only to notice his glasses sitting loosely on his face after everything.
Carefully, you reached up to fix them for him, nudging the frames back properly into place.
“Can I take them off now?” He asked, almost teasingly.
You tiredly frowned at the suggestion before reluctantly nodding anyway, making Ryland laugh softly under his breath before finally taking them off. He found it unbearably cute how fixated you still were over them.
“You okay?” He asked after a while, tucking a loose strand of hair behind you ear.
You answered by humming softly against him, sleepily nuzzling your face deeper into the crook of his neck.
“Felt so good…” You mumbled. “So close to you.”
Ryland visibly melted at your words.
“My sweet girl” He sighed softly, a shy smile breaking across his face before he pressed another lingering kiss on the top of your head.
And for the first time in weeks, neither of you felt lonely.
A few weeks later, Ryland came home late again after work.
He opens the apartment door to find you asleep on the couch again, cuddling your favorite bunny plushie, with half-finished notes scattered around you. Kneeling beside you, brushing your hair away from your face gently.
You stirred at the familiar warmth on your skin, immediately giving him that familiar sweet smile.
“I told you to sleep earlier” He murmured, pressing a kiss on your forehead.
“Can’t…need you with me” Opening your arms asking for a hug, gasping a bit when he carefully lifted you into his arms instead, carrying you to bed as you clung to him sleepily.
“Sleep now. I’ll take a quick shower after this” He said quietly, laying you down and tucking you in.
Ryland used to think love was supposed to feel composed, controlled, and peaceful.
But loving you had always felt alive, warm, loud, and Needy.
Holding you close while your soft, sleepy breaths filled the quiet apartment again, he realized he never wanted peace if it meant living without you in it.
afterword: this is my first time ever writing THE REAL DEAL™… and exposing it, pls be kind 😭 re-reading this felt kinda nasty ngl. but yeah… uh, words of encouragement?
Thank You so much for reading this -actual Grace❤︎
cw: angst, age gap (both are consenting adults), confrontation, Mark (HAHAHAHAHA), emotional vulnerability, hurt/comfort, insecurity, fear of being not enough, crying, the needy idiots finally talk like adults (barely)
<Part.3 The Same Smile
Pt.4 Home
A month later, the closing event for his research came sooner than Ryland expected, the same place where everything had begun.
He made it to the event, physically there though his heart wasn’t, still yearning, still searching for the girl he started everything with.
Until he heard your laugh.
His entire body froze. Even across the crowded room, he would’ve recognized that laugh anywhere.
Slowly, almost afraid the sound would disappear if he moved too quickly, Ryland turned toward it.
And there you were.
“So….?” your friend asked carefully. “How are you holding up after the breakup?”
You let out a small laugh, swirling the drink in your hand. “I’m fine.” It sounded rehearsed.
“How do you think Dr.Grace’s doing?”
You paused briefly before shrugging.
“He’s a grown man. I’m sure he’s doing just fine.” A half-hearted laugh escaped you afterward. “Especially after I practically handed him what he wanted on a silver platter.”
“Might even be enjoying the peace of his life right now.” You continued, hurt could be seen across your face as you said that.
No… -Ryland’s chest tightened violently at your words. That wasn’t true. None of it was and it hurts knowing you believed it that way.
Before he could stop himself from walking closer, a guy suddenly wrapped his arms around your waist from behind. You burst into laughter immediately.
“Mark! stop it!” You laughed while trying to push him away. But the guy only continued teasing you, fingers poking at your sides while you squirmed.
Something ugly twisted in Ryland’s heart.
You were laughing and smiling at another man’s touch so casually. He hated how natural it looked, how easily someone else could stepped into the space he lost, as if he had never been there at all.
Before Ryland could think anything better of it, he was already moving his hand to grab at the man’s wrist firmly away from her.
“She said stop.” He said, softly, voice quieter than he intended.
Mark blinked once before recognizing him.
“Well well well” He said dryly, “if it isn’t the ex-boyfriend. What do you want Dr.Grace?”
Ryland froze. The words didn’t come out. “I—i…” His throat tightened.
I wanted to say sorry. I was wrong. I’ve worked so hard just to stand in front of you without falling apart. I just needed to see you. -But nothing came out, only silence.
His eyes flickered to you, that was enough to ruin him.
You were finally there, right in front of him. Still the same. Still you. But your eyes were glassy, guarded in a way he had never seen before.
“Look,” Mark cut in, “I’m not trying to overstep or anything, but if you’re here to clear your conscience, do it somewhere else. She’s not your emotional dumping ground.”
Ryland flinched at that.
“Mark” you warned softly, but your voice trembled slightly.
He deserved that. He deserved worse.
“I just need a minute,” Ryland finally forced out, voice hoarse. “Please…”
Mark scoffed. “You don’t get to show up after a month and start asking for favors—”
“Mark.” Your voice came sharper this time. Both of them stopped.
You took a slow breath, glancing between the two of them. Then, quietly. “I’ll talk to him.”
Mark’s eyes widened slightly. “Are you sure?”
You didn’t looked at Ryland when you nodded.“Yes.”
Mark, clearly unhappy, but stepping back anyway. “If she looks even slightly uncomfortable-“. You lightly nudged his arm, offering a small, reassuring smile. A silent, subtle, telling him you were okay.
“Don’t do anything stupid” He muttered under his breath, not really to Ryland, more like a warning to the situation itself. He gave Ryland one last look, unfriendly, but not hostile and turned away, disappearing into the crowd.
Now it was just the two of you standing slightly apart, like there was still something physical separating you even when there wasn’t.
You exhaled softly, breaking the silence first “Let’s go somewhere quieter” You said as Ryland followed immediately.
You turned and walked toward the terrace, pushing through the glass doors into cooler air, the sounds of the reception dulling behind you until they were nothing more than a distant hum.
A more secluded space. Somewhere to actually talk. Somewhere neither of you could pretend anymore.
“I’m sorry.” Ryland said immediately. “I know that’s not enough, i know i don’t get to just—appear here and say that but i—” He stopped himself, swallowing hard.
“I didn’t come to disturb you. I just… needed to see you.” His hands curled slightly at his sides.
“I didn’t realize how much i—” He exhaled shakily, “how much i messed everything up until you were gone.”
“I’ve thought about what i said every single day.” His breath caught.
You looked at him then, really looked, not saying anything. That alone told him everything he needed to know.
“I didn’t mean it.” He continued, quieter now. “Not the way it came out. I was exhausted, and frustrated, and I— i let it turn into something ugly. But it was never about you being… that.” His jaw tightened.
“It was me. I didn’t know how to handle how much i—” He stopped, swallowing hard,
“How much i depended on you without realizing it.” That landed heavier than he expected.
“You broke up with me.” You finally spoke.“We ended on your terms.”
Calm. No accusation. Just fact.
“I did.” Ryland nodded once, like it physically hurt to do it. “And I shouldn’t have.”
You shifted your weight slightly, arms crossing loosely in front of you, protective but not closed off.
“I was doing fine before you showed up, again” you said quietly.
Ryland flinched. “I know.”
Then softer, almost like you didn’t want to say it out loud “…I was doing fine when I left too.”
That hurt him more than anything else so far because it was true. He didn’t interrupt, didn’t defend himself. He just listened.
You exhaled slowly, gaze drifting away for a moment. “I didn’t leave because i stopped caring.” you added. “I left because i couldn’t stay in a place where i felt like i had to shrink myself to be easier to love.”
Ryland’s throat tightened.
“I n-never wanted that….” He said immediately, voice cracking slightly.
“I know,” you replied.
This is worse. You weren’t angry. You’re calm in a way that scared him more than shouting ever could.
Ryland took a careful step forward, stopping when he saw you didn’t move back.
“I’m not asking to fix anything right now,” He said.
“I just… i needed you to know i understand it better now. What i did. What i said. A-and What i lost.” His hands trembled slightly at his sides.
“And i’m not here to take your peace away,” He added quickly.
“If you’re happier without me, I-i will accept that. I just— i couldn’t keep pretending I didn’t ruin something important.” Your eyes flickered for a second. Just a second, and then you looked away again.
“…You didn’t ruin everything,” You said quietly, eyes watering at the thought of going away from him, forever.
Ryland saw it, the way your shoulders started to tremble, barely controlled, like you were holding something back with everything you had.
Then your voice broke slightly. “I don’t want to leave, but y-you hurt me.”
Your lip trembled as you pressed it between your teeth, trying but failing to hold it in. The honesty sat between you like something fragile and shaking.
Ryland nodded immediately. “I know… i did” He said, quieter this time. His hands curled at his sides, he was physically stopping himself from reaching for you.
“I didn’t run from you.” You said after a moment, quieter. “I just… needed space,” you clarified. “From everything.”
Ryland let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.
You finally looked up at him, a tear clinging stubbornly at the edge of your eyes like it didn’t know whether it was allowed to fall.
The sight broke something in him again.
“I don’t know what you want from me right now, R-Ryland,” you whispered.
His answer came immediately, voice firm but gently.
“Nothing you can’t give.”
That did it.
Something in you cracked, not loudly, not dramatically, just enough for the walls you’d been holding up to finally slip.
Your fingers tightened at your sides, clutching your dress, wrinkling the fabric as you needed something to hold onto.
“…Y-you don’t get it,” You finally cried out, voice trembling. “You really don’t.”
“I wasn’t just hurt because of what you said,” You sobbed, the tears you’ve been holding so hard finally falling. “I was hurt because part of me started believing it.”
Ryland went still. Not moving the slightest bit, like if he breathed wrong, you might disappear.
You swallowed hard, like the words themselves tasted like humiliation.
“You don’t see how there are so many other women around you,” You continued shakily. “Smarter. More experienced. Closer to your world. People who actually belong in your life without it feeling… complicated.” Your voice broken.
“I kept thinking maybe I was just… temporary.”
That hit him like something physical. For a second, Ryland couldn’t speak. Couldn’t breathe properly.
You looked away quickly, wiping at your face in a small, embarrassed motion like you were trying to take the moment back.
That was when he finally moved. Not slowly this time. Not carefully. Just instinct. He stepped forward and took your hand.
You barely had time to react before he pulled you into his embrace. Not forceful. Not overwhelming.
He couldn’t stand one more second of watching you, trying so hard to hold yourself together like that.
“Please don’t think like that,” He said, voice rougher now, slowly caressing the back of your head. “Not even for a second.” His arms tightened slightly, not trapping, just anchoring.
“You were never temporary.”
Your cry broke out fully, hard. You gripped his shirt, fingers curling in like you were afraid he might disappear if you let go.
“I—” your voice lost mid-word.
You shook your head against him, frantically like you were trying to stop the words, swallowing them back down.
But it had been sitting in you for too long. Too painful. Too heavy.
“I tried,” You whispered, barely audible. “I really tried not to care so much.” Your words spilling faster now. Unsteady.
“I kept telling myself it was fine. That i was fine. That i didn’t—” your voice wavered sharply, “that i didn’t need more than what you gave me.” Letting out a shaky inhale as you buried your face deeper on his chest.
Oh how much you missed being in his arms.
“But I did.”
“I h-hated feeling like i-i was too much,” you said, voice breaking completely now. “Like i was always wanting m-more attention, more time, more of y-you, like i was asking for something impossible.”
Ryland’s arms tightened slightly around you at that. Careful. Grounding. Holding you through it.
“I p-promise i wasn’t being difficult,” You continued, voice hitching between sobs. “I just… i like you so much it’s scary. And i thought if i was easy to love, if i was always happy, always okay, then maybe you wouldn’t get tired of me.”
“A-and then you said those things,” Your breath shook, face red, cheeks drenched with tears. “So i thought…i was right after all.”
“It hurt so bad.” you admitted. “All this time i feel like….like i’m o-only good at sex” Your grip tightened, voice muffled against his chest.
“But that’s not what I wanted,” you whispered. “I don’t want to feel like that’s all I can give you… like that’s all I am to you.”
“So when you said I was too much…” Your voice smaller now, “it felt like you threw me away, like you didn’t want me anymore.”
“I never got tired of you,“ He said quietly, his palms on your face wiping away the tears rolling down your cheeks “and i never will”.
“I just didn’t know how to love you properly,” His voice roughened with regret. “and i took it out on you instead of fixing myself.”
“I didn’t w-want to leave you,” You whimpered softly. “I just didn’t want to keep feeling like i was waiting to be chosen every day.”
Ryland closed his eyes briefly at that.
His hand found yours carefully, lifting it slightly before pressing soft kisses against your knuckles, lingering there for a second like he was trying to soothe every hurt he had caused.
Your breathing trembled harder.
Slowly, he adjusted his arms around you, pulling you just a little closer until his forehead rested gently against yours.
You felt unsteady in his hold, like your body couldn’t decide whether to stay upright or completely fall apart in his arms.
“I’m sorry it took me losing you, for me to understand what you’re carrying”
Your breath shuddered. You didn’t pull away and Ryland carefully held you, like he was finally learning how.
“I-i wanna go h-home” You said shakily, nuzzling on his hand that’s wiping your tears.
“hmmm?” He hummed softly, thumbs still brushing gently beneath your eyes.
“H-home.” You repeated, your fingers curling around the collar of his suit, tugging him a little closer. Eyes glistened, searching his face pleadingly. “Take me home….”
“Please….” The quiet desperation in your voice nearly undid him.
You leaned up just enough to press a small, hesitant kiss against his lips, brief, featherlight, like you were testing whether he would still kiss you back.
And that was all it took.
Without another word, he guided you carefully back toward his car, his hand never once leaving yours.
The drive home stayed silent. Not uncomfortable, just full.
Your eyes grew heavier with every passing minute, exhaustion catching up after all the crying.
By the time the city lights blurred past the window, you were already half asleep against the seat.
Ryland’s hand still held yours the entire drive, his thumb rubbing slow circles against your skin like he was still trying to soothe something fragile.
cw: flashback, light fluff, age gap (both are consenting adults), Older!Molecular Biologist Ryland, Younger!Post Graduate Reader, first meeting, soft nostalgia, IT’S THE GLASSES I SWEAR.
<Part.2 Gone
Pt.3 The Same Smile
A year ago. The “Save the Ocean” campaign had been unbearably crowded that day.
Ryland only attended because one of his colleagues insisted having a molecular biologist on stage would help attract more attention to the conservation research division. He expected a long day of presentations, polite conversations, and people pretending to understand scientific jargon.
“You know humpback whales can recognize human boats individually, right?” Your voice came from behind him. He remembered blinking at you in surprise.
You had been standing beside one of the exhibits wearing an oversized volunteer shirt, passionately explaining whale migration patterns to a group of children like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.
Adorable -That was the only word running through his mind at the time.
“You’re studying Marine Biology?” He had asked back then, genuinely impressed by how much you knew.
You laughed awkwardly. “Ex!Biological Science student, majoring in Marine Biology” You corrected with a sheepish smile.
“But yeah….shit happened. Failed it spectacularly, actually.” Ryland still remembered laughing softly at how your face scrunched afterward.
“I’m taking Environmental Communications now.” You continued smiling at him properly for the first time then.
Soft. Sweet. So unexpectedly genuine that it caught him completely off guard.
He genuinely thought that would be the first and last time he’d ever see you. But for some reason, Ryland remembered that smile more clearly than anything else about that day.
Until three months later.
It was the debut event for his current research, exhausted and halfway through nursing a glass of champagne he didn’t even want, Ryland nearly choked when he heard your voice again.
“Dr. Grace?”
There you were. Dressed nothing like the volunteer he remembered from three months ago. Elegant. Refined. Completely out of place beside the memory he had of you in an oversized volunteer shirt excitedly talking about whales to children.
But then you smiled at him. The exact same sweet smile and just like that, Ryland felt his heart flutter in his chest all over again.
“How are you h-here?” He asked, still slightly stunned as he reached out to shake your hand.
“Oh!” You laughed softly as you took his hand. “My father is one of the project’s sponsors.”
Ryland barely processed the information, because all he could think about was your smile.
The same smile that would later greet him at the door every night.
The same smile that always looked up at him so softly whenever you touched him.
The same smile he had cruelly reduced to tears last night.
end of flashback.
Ryland stared down at the whale keychain still sitting in his palm before suddenly pushing himself off the bed.
No -He couldn’t just sit here. Not after what he’d done.
Ryland barely slept on the first week after the break up. He called you constantly despite knowing every attempt would end in voicemail.
He drove to your university only to find out you had switched to online classes for the semester.
He waited outside your favorite café, feeling pathetic the entire time. Nothing.
It was like you had vanished on purpose and maybe you had every right to.
Eventually, the desperation settled into something quieter. He stopped trying to force his way back into your life and started forcing himself to confront everything he had been avoiding instead.
The stress. The exhaustion. The way he buried himself in work until every emotion came out wrong. The way he took your love for granted because he thought you would always stay and adapt.
Ryland worked, not to distract himself, but to become someone who deserved to ask for forgiveness.
He still found himself looking for you everywhere. In crowded train stations, coffee shops, the clothing store you used to visit often, the ocean documentaries you used to force him to watch at 2 a.m.
Every time his phone buzzed, part of him still hoped it was you.
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cw: angst, age gap (both are consenting adults), breakup, regret, emotional devastation, crying, (all everyone plural) everyone is suffering.
<Part.1 Don’t Stop
Pt.2 Gone
Your hands slowly dropped away from him, fingers curling tightly against your own thighs to hide how badly they were trembling.
Clearing your throat, you forced out a small shaky laugh.
“Oh… okay, since i-it’s uh so late already,” You murmured softly. “be a darling and at least let me s-stay for the night, okay?” Biting down on your lip, you quickly pushed yourself up from the floor, avoiding his eyes as you turned toward the bathroom.
Ryland sat frozen on the couch. Still dazed, still shaking slightly as he fixes his glasses on, he barely even registered you walking away from him. The apartment just felt painfully quiet.
Not long after, the bathroom door clicked open.
“Uh… goodnight, Ryland.” You said quietly, already dressed for bed as you passed by him.
You didn’t wait for his answer before slipping into your shared bedroom, quickly climbing beneath the sheets like you could hide from the conversation waiting for both of you in the morning.
Still, Ryland couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t stop replaying the look on your face after he said it.
As the haze of pleasure slowly faded, Ryland quietly cleaned himself up before finally making his way into the bedroom. The mattress dipped slightly as he slid in beside you.
Almost immediately, he heard it, the uneven hitch in your breathing, the faint tremble running through your body.
His chest tightened painfully. You were crying.
Your back faced him, shoulders curled inward while both hands covered your mouth, trying so hard to silence every sob threatening to slip out.
Even then, he could still hear the tiny broken sounds escaping between your shaky breaths.
Ryland shut his eyes for a moment, reality crashing over him all at once. A sharp sting bloomed deep in his chest, and he knew exactly why.
Because he didn’t truly mean it.
He had just been exhausted, stressed from work, overwhelmed by everything piling on top of him day after day.
Somewhere along the way, that exhaustion twisted itself into frustration, frustrated at himself for feeling like he could never keep up with you the way you deserved.
You loved loudly. So openly. So desperately.
And Ryland… Ryland always felt like he was falling short.
It ate at him knowing he could have done better.
Knowing you gave him every soft piece of yourself while he came home too tired, too distracted, too caught up in his own head to return it properly.
Hearing your cry hurts far worse than any frustration ever could.
“I-I’m sorry Sweetheart… I hurt you with my words.” His voice came out quiet and rough, still heavy with exhaustion.
“The frustration just got to me… I don’t even know why I said that. Maybe I was too tired, too overwhelmed, but I know none of that excuses what I said to you.” As he spoke, his arms slowly circled around your waist, carefully pulling you closer against his chest.
He buried his face into the crook of your neck, pressing soft, lingering kisses against your skin like he was trying to apologize through touch alone.
Still, you said nothing. The silence hurt more than if you had yelled at him.
All Ryland could hear was your uneven breathing and the faint sniffles you tried so hard to hide from him.
His chest ached. But his body was beyond exhausted. Between the emotional wreckage of the night and the lingering heaviness pulling at his limbs, sleep slowly began dragging him under without him even realizing it. His breathing gradually steadied against your neck, his hold around your waist loosening just slightly as exhaustion finally won over him. But even in his sleep, he still held onto you.
Morning sunlight spilled through the curtains.
The warmth brushing against Ryland’s face as it slowly pulled him from sleep. Still half-asleep, he instinctively reached toward your side of the bed, fingertips searching for your warmth beneath the sheets.
Cold. -His brows furrowed slightly.
“…Baby?” No answer.
Panic began creeping into his chest as he pushed himself upright, quickly looking around the room.
“Sweetheart?” He called again, voice rough with sleep
Silence.
His breathing quickened. Hands fumbling shakily across the nightstand, he struggled to find his glasses. The moment he shoved them onto his face and his vision finally cleared.
His stomach dropped upon seeing the wardrobe door left half-closed, empty hangers swayed slightly inside. All your clothes were gone.
Ryland froze.
For a second, his brain refused to process what he was seeing.
“No… no, no, no…” He mumbled under his breath, already stumbling out of bed. “This can’t be real…”
Panic fully crashed into him then.
He rushed out of the bedroom, frantically searching through the apartment calling out for you louder each time.
The bathroom was empty.
The kitchen untouched.
Your favorite shoes by the doorway were gone.
The things you always left around the apartment, your charger, your scrunchies, your favorite lip balm, even all your plushies. Gone.
It’s like you had erased yourself from the apartment overnight.
Like you had erased yourself from him.
“You can’t just—” His voice broke sharply as trembling hands raked through his hair.
“Fuck…” The realization finally sank in.
You were gone. Really gone.
His vision blurred almost instantly as he scrambled for his phone, fingers shaking so badly he nearly dropped it while trying to call you.
One ring. Then straight to voicemail.
He tried again immediately, then again after that, desperation growing with every unanswered call, Ryland stared at the screen in horror, chest tightening so painfully he could barely breathe.
He sat down slowly on the edge of the bed, elbows resting on his knees as he replayed what he said to you the night before.
“Why are you like this?”
“You just went straight all over me.”
“Were you always this… lewd?”
“Is sex all you can think about?”
“I want to break up with you.”
Why did I say that…? Why was I so harsh? She wasn’t like that. -Ryland squeezed his eyes shut, fingers tangling into his hair.
Sure, things between the two of you often turned heated, one touch naturally leading to another, but it was never just you. It was both of you. Always both of you.
The more he thought about it, the sicker he felt.
Because when he pictured you, the first thing that came to mind wasn’t anything sexual at all.
It was you waiting for him.
You curled up on the couch in one of his science pun t-shirts, hugging that stupid bunny plushie he won at the carnival for you months ago.
Sometimes the TV would still be running softly in the background while you fought sleep just to stay awake until he got home.
Other nights, you’d be sitting cross-legged on the couch surrounded by notebooks and highlighters, quietly reciting things for your exams or mumbling over assignments while waiting for him to walk through the door and every single time, no matter how tired you looked, you’d immediately light up the second you saw him.
Just so you could greet him with a hug, a kiss, a smile before bed.
His chest twisted painfully.
The realization hit him all at once, leaving his body weak as he slowly curled into himself on the bed.
It was like his exhausted mind had completely twisted everything, turning his stress and insecurities into something ugly and unfair before lashing it all out onto you.
And now you are gone.
Ryland stared blankly at the empty side of the bed before his gaze slowly drifted toward the faded blue whale keychain lying on the floor, seems like you dropped it while packing.
A gift from the very first time they met, he picked it up as his mind dragged him back a year ago.
type: this was supposed to be a oneshot, but Ryland Grace had other plans. somehow, this turned into a giant oneshot, so now it’s split into parts.
pairing: Ryland Grace x Fem!Reader
cw: fluff-smut, MDNI, age gap (both are consenting adults), subby Ryland tendencies, even subbier reader, emotionally needy idiots, tbh they’re both pathetic, but soft!dom!Ryland, lots of whimpering, oral m!recieving, crying during sex, unintentional emotional manipulation, hurt/comfort, angst, THE GLASSES STAYS ON! everyone say thank you to the glasses.
idk what to add anymore, this is my first time exposing what i write….
summary: with a sweet twist
Pt.1 Don’t Stop
Tired and worn down, Ryland stood outside the apartment door longer than he meant to.
His hand hovered near the handle, but he didn’t move. He had been repeating the same thought again and again on the drive home, in between red lights, and in the silence of his own head.
I want to break up with her.
But it never felt clean when he said it to himself. The truth underneath it was messier.
She doesn’t need me here.
That was the part he couldn’t stop circling back to.
Not that she would stop loving him. Not that she would leave. Worse. She would adapt, she would grow around his absence the way she grew around everything else in her life naturally.
Ryland pressed his forehead briefly against the door.
She just loves me here -He thought.
Not needed. Not anchored. Just… present. And presence, he realized, was not the same as necessity.
He exhaled slowly.
She’ll eventually outgrow me.
Not in cruelty. Not in rejection. In the way people outgrow spaces they once fit into perfectly.
He swallowed hard, fingers clenching at his suit jacket.
Be a man and just say it to her, Ry. I want to break up with you. Yeah, that’s it. Stop dancing around it and just say it.
He finally opened the door.
The apartment was warm when he stepped inside. Too warm, compared to the heaviness in his chest. There you were, on the couch as usual, he instantly noticed the thin camisole and lacy shorts on you.
“Fuck…” He sighed under his breath, biting his lip as shivers run down his spine at the sight of you. Even in the dim light, he could see the outline of your nipples beneath the soft, flowy fabric of your top.
As soon as the door clicked shut, you looked up immediately at the sound, your face lighting up in the way that still caught him off guard even now. Soft, warm, very much happy to see him.
“Ryry you’re back~” You squealed, rushing into his arms, wrapping your own around him easily.
Your warmth pressing into his chest before he could properly brace himself, his heart thumped even harder the moment he felt your soft lips against his cheek.
“I missed you” You murmured against him, fingertips gliding gently along his shoulder as you looked up at him with that unbearably sweet smile.
That sentence is simple and ordinary, but it hit him harder than anything else that day.
You meant it so freely, like he was something constant. Something guaranteed.
For a second, Ryland almost forgot why he had come home like this.
Almost.
Come on, Ryland. Stay strong. Don’t look into her eyes…
Forcing his gaze elsewhere Ryland’s hands hovered over yours for a moment, offering you a faint smile before he gently slipped out of your embrace, easing you back.
Just enough to create space.
Your expression shifted slightly at that, confused, but still trusting.
“We need to talk.” He said quietly as he sat down on the couch, carefully catching your hands and guiding them away from him, hoping the distance would help him keep his resolve intact.
Standing in front of him, you smiled softly before slowly sinking to your knees, your hands gliding from his knees up toward his thighs with agonizing slowness. Beneath your touch, you can feel his muscles tighten instantly.
His body betraying him long before his mouth ever could.
Resting your cheek against his thigh, you tilted your head up at him with that dangerously sweet look in your eyes and whispered softly, “Yes~”
A sharp breath left him.
Ryland watched how you sat in front of him patient, attentive, waiting for whatever he was about to say like you had already decided you could handle it.
That was the problem.
You always thought you could handle him.
“I’ve been thinking,” He started, then paused.
He had practiced this conversation the entire drive home. I want to break up with you. Simple. Direct. Final. But now, with you kneeling between his legs looking at him like that, every rehearsed words tangled uselessly in his throat. Every version of this sentence sounded wrong.
“I-i don’t think i’ve been… fair to you.”
Your brows softened slightly. “What ever do you mean?”
That gentle tone made his chest tighten, you weren’t afraid, you were just listening. And he suddenly hated that more than anger.
“I’ve started….t-to rely on you in a way that…”
He stopped, jaw tightening as your hand lingered towards his belt, fingers slipping to unbuckle it and slowly opening the fly of his pants.
“In a…w-way that isn’t balanced.”He managed hoarsely, holding on the couch cushion tightly.
“That’s not a bad thing.” You tilted your head slightly, confused.
That answer almost broke him.
“It is,” He said quietly. “and if i’m being h-honest,”
Silence settled between you. Ryland forced himself to look at you again, forcing himself to see it clearly. Not just the way you looked at him, but the way you looked at the world. Bright. Open. Still expanding and becoming.
And him stable, settled. Already defined. He had been telling himself it didn’t matter, but it did.
Because love wasn’t the issue.
“Y-you’re still growing,” He managed to say.
You blinked, confused. “and so are you.”
A faint, humorless breath left him.
“No….Not like you.”
That made you go quiet. Ryland swallowed hard.
“I think-…. i’m starting to feel like…” He searched for the right words, but there weren’t any gentle ones left. “L-like I’m becoming someone you’ll eventually have to slow down for.”
Your expression changed slightly at that. Not hurt yet, just unsettled.
“And I don’t want that,” He continued, voice tightening.
Your lips parted slightly.
“Ryland…” You started pulling his pants lower, just enough to reveal the fabric of his underwear
No Ryland, please -The thought echoed loudly in your head as panic starts creeping in your cheat, you don’t want to hear it anymore. You know where this conversation is going.
You start peppering kisses on his still clothed length, slow and teasing, you can feel how hard he is, hot and throbbing, you know exactly how weak he is for you.
“I-i don’t want to be something you- ahh…. o-outgrow and feel guilty about.” His sentence trailing off as soft whimpers.
A shaky sound escaped him before he could stop it. His breathing uneven, chest rising harder with every second your lips lingered on him.
Oh just how he hated this. Hated how easily you get to him. How he can’t stop thinking about you even on his busiest days. How one look from you could reduce all his frustration and exhaustion into nothing but raw want.
No, Ry. Don’t give in. Don’t let her get her way again -But the thought sounded weak even in his own head. The truth was pathetic.
You lowered the hem of his boxer, his length slapping on your forehead as soon as it was freed, you let out a breathy giggle as you slowly kiss the tip of him.
“We shouldn’t— i-i shouldn’t be doing this while I’m trying to— aghhh~” His body limp as soon as your sweet lips wrapped around him whole.
When he glanced down, he was greeted by your bright, innocent eyes staring up at him as if your mouth isn’t full of him, sweet enough to ruin every coherent thought in his head.
“hmmph~ so good.” You hummed contentedly stroking his thighs as you continued bobbing your head, eyes fluttering shut at the taste of him.
He felt so warm, so heavy against your tongue, and the shaky sounds leaving him only made warmth bloom in your chest, pleased with how completely undone he’d become beneath your touch.
Your humming sends vibrations straight to his length. His eyes squeezed shut, head falling back against the couch, mind spinning helplessly from the wet, slick sounds filling the room while you took such sweet, sweet care of him.
“Baby w-wait please….i can’t….t-think” He admitted, voice rough.
“I can’t- i can’t say it properly when you’re l-like this-….aghh~” He gasped, legs trembling, the sudden loss of warmth made his hips twitch.
“When you-…..you’re looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” You asked.
“Like i- like i’m already g-gone,” He admitted with a soft whine caught in his throat.
You only smiled at him, hiding behind that sweet smile, trailing slow, featherlight kisses along his length from base to tip, unhurried and cruel in the gentlest way possible.
“Please…” He whimpered.
“D-don’t stop.” His voice embarrassingly fragile, his eyes glassy behind the fogged glasses as he looked down at you.
The room fell silent for half a second.
Then realization hit him. What…?
His breath caught sharply as the words replayed in his head. He only fully understood what he said after it had already slipped past his lips. Heat rushed violently to his face, chest tightening in humiliation as he stared at you in stunned disbelief. He was supposed to be ending things tonight.
“Since you ask so nicely” Your lips curled into a teasing smile as you leaned closer taking him back deeper into your mouth, never once breaking eye contact with him. Your lashes were damp, eyes glossy beneath the dim apartment light, the soft gaze you gave him was affectionate, patient, and devastatingly sweet.
“F-fuck…” A shaky gasp escaped him as his hips jerked instinctively at the sight, completely lost in the feeling of your attention on him. The sudden movement pulled a soft gag from you.
“Sorry…I-i’m sorry baby” He breathed out quickly, panic flickering across his face as he looked down, worried he’d gone too far. You responded with a soft hum, your fingertips brushing soothingly against his thigh as if reassuring him without words.
That tiny gesture alone broke him.
His chest rose sharply, uneven breaths spilling from his parted lips, the softness of your touch is unbearable, the way you kept looking at him like he’s something precious. He is.
“B-baby- agh…ah i-“ The words never fully left his mouth.
Instead, a broken desperate moan tore from his throat, his entire body trembling beneath the overwhelming rush of sensation. His head jerked back against the couch, chest heaving with ragged breaths, glasses hanging low nearly falling off from how much he was shaking as he completely unraveled in front of you.
His warmth flooded your mouth and you squeezed your eyes shut at the taste, taking your time before finally pulling away slowly as you swallow every last drop of him.
When you looked back up at him, you were already smiling to yourself, ready to bask in the satisfied expression on his flushed face.
Only to be met with a still whimpering Ryland as he stared down at you with glossy eyes. Like he was trying to gather the courage to say something that physically hurt to admit.
“Why are you like this?” He asked breathlessly, voice trembling. “You didn’t even give me a chance to actually speak… you just went straight all over me.” He swallowed hard, glasses hanging low on the bridge of his nose while his chest still rose unevenly.
“Were you always this… needy and lewd?” His voice cracked slightly.
“I was trying to talk to you seriously and it turned into this. Is sex all you can think about?... I’ve been trying to tell you that I—”
He paused.
Like saying it out loud would finally make everything real. Then quietly.
“I want to break up with you.”
The words landed heavily between the two of you and for a second, neither of you moved. Ryland shut his eyes tightly, jaw tensing as if the sentence had been ripped out of him against his will.
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