bloodyonyx

i’ve been wanting to cvt but i’ve just been too lazy and busy to, and like i really don’t have a reason to other than i just want to

after i finish my finals i’m gonna reward myself with cvtting and minecraft

i kinda feel bad for lying to the people around me that i’ve been clean for a couple years when i’m actually not, but i really don’t want to be in a position where i’m treated like i have to be wrapped in bubble wrap and kept an eye on just because i’ve been cvtting. when will anyone realize that surveillance isn’t the end all be all to stopping self harm. honestly i wish i could just cvt and instead of being reprimanded for it i could just have someone who wouldn’t judge me and would let me stop at my own pace and would just make sure that i’m not acting irrationally.

i wanna cvt so bad rn

i’m probably gonna cvt today and i might post pics :>

i always feel like if i open up to people about my $h struggles they’ll either slowly pull away or try and force me to stop cold turkey. like i just wish i had someone that could listen to me without fear of judgement or just slowly leaving me

end of semester college stress makes me want to re1@pse again :(