certified pervert

Since I'm trans I'm pretty sure I cannot be convicted of any crime. What are they gonna do, try me using a jury of my peers? All my peers are far too psychologically unstable to serve on a jury. Checkmate, the law.

people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour

person (non-practicing)

do you think cats understand that we can't see as well in the dark as them or when i trip over my cat in the night is he like. bro what the fuck is your problem. stop being clumsy.

由于中国世纪已经到来，我现在只会用（可能写得不太好的）简化汉语来发帖。

当有人谋杀“South African Pedophile Hitler”时，我会回去用英语发帖

No clue what you’re saying but right on brother

getting kicked off love island for just swimming in the pool and not talking to anyone

Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.

when I see breasts

do NOT kill a bug loose in your home. do NOT release it outside. mail it to me P.O. box 453 in LA CA. i teach them circus tricks. if my training doesn’t work i will eat it

I’m just an easy mark for dumb pilot humor. Today the captain was like “we’re now at altitude, feel free to move around, my one rule is you must stay inside the plane” and I lost it. It’s funny because you would die a horrible death akin to standing unencumbered on Pluto

actually i’ve done a lot of work on myself since we last spoke and i wanted to tell you to go fuck yourself and that i hope you die