like a monster.

links: carrd. memes. study. pinterest. playlist. promo.

on the other hand, ross is the one who destroyed his life. he represents everything emil had an issue with before he even volunteered for the serum. ross was the one who tried to leash him; the one who kept him locked up for over a decade. he swept all responsibility for what happened under the rug while hiding his own involvement in the destruction of harlem and benefited from emil’s incarceration while he was dishonorably discharged. that is who emil has beef with. and i hope that now that red hulk has entered the picture, we get these two back on screen together to hash it out soon.

idk i just think it could have been nice to get some kind of closure on that fear. does he still have it? or does he simply not care anymore because becoming abomination makes it all kind of a moot point — because in the end, he did become the godpower he was chasing. he won. while before he would have balked at the idea of growing old, does it not matter what his body physically looks like so long as his ability to fight remains?

even though emil has full control over when he turns into abomination, there are still aspects of his transformation that are out of his hands. namely, the way his body remains permanently mutilated even while human. his eyes always seem slightly sunken in, just a degree too deep to be considered healthy, and both his rib cage and his spine visually protrude outward, with bones pushing against skin pulled too tightly around a human frame. when he transforms, these bones are always the first to break, cracking and expanding and splitting open the skin that barely holds him together as more skeletal growths take form. and despite the soldier serum that runs in his veins, he still experiences pain in these areas while human ( after all, the serum doesn’t make him invincible, it just means his tolerance for pain is higher ). breathing can be agony when his diaphragm catches on the unnatural formation of his ribs and the aches along his spine never quite go away. it’s a chronic kind of pain, the irritating kind that he can mostly ignore until it becomes just another facet of living. background static. he knows these are the consequences of trying to cheat nature ( he won but at what cost? ). he can pretend to pass himself off as human but these mutations serve as a constant reminder that no matter what, there will always be something monstrous about him. something he can no longer hide.

emil watching the news footage of his golden daggers fight like :D fucking kills me that man is not remorseful about becoming abomination AT ALL

new tags because i'm tired of the fancy font preventing me from searching my own posts