Tick Tock
When you speak of future plans and opportunities to explore but never saying “we”
Do I jump out of this sinking boat, or help you sail through your open seas?
You know all too well, I won’t insert myself into your single vision plans of grandeur
You also know, I’ll cheer you on and wish you well like a good girl should
Where does that leave me and the footprint you’ve made upon my unit of three?
It leaves me stuck between your rock and my hard place, a stubborn and sticky place to be.
Where love often dies and hopes fade from bright yellow to shades of grey.
I always felt our other shoe would drop, all the while scolding myself for being cynical
Praying this time of us wasn’t you, me, and us just temporarily filling a lonely hole.
Maybe I was an integral part of us fumbling our shoe along this rocky road
I fell victim to my own demons and let them in, who’s at fault, we may never know
Your fault, my fault, fingers to point; look! Here we are back at life’s square one
Our past history has taught us nothing but when to quit and who to blame
True love, they say, does not find fault or relish in a loss, it succeeds and excels
All these years of life and love lived, and I’ve yet to find the resounding whistle to my bell
I blame myself for relishing in this easy love and not doing the work it takes.
I took us for granted and let my past gnaw on me like an overcooked mistake.
No wonder we lost sight of our future when our past got in the way
We were both selfish and greedy, the price now; is what we can’t bring ourselves to say.
I wasn’t enough or maybe I was too much.
You had your ways, and I wasn’t tough enough.
Our story slipped away slowly and as surely as the dusk turns to dawn
It’s inevitable, and upon us, please turn this page, because I no longer can.
