"You got a parcel, by the way," said Chloe, once her flatmate got home from work. "I left it on your desk."
"Cool, thanks," said Keira, tossing her backpack into the corner and hanging up her jacket. "I don't think I ordered anything though."
All Chloe could do was shrug. "Had your name on it."
Ten minutes later, Chloe was slouched on the sofa watching Only Connect when she heard Keira's bedroom door open behind her.
"So what was in the mystery box?" she asked without turning around. "Anthrax or forgotten Kickstarter or what?"
"Oh, nothing like that," said Keira. Her voice had an odd sing-song quality that Chloe had never heard before. Then she giggled.
Chloe had just enough time to pause the show and start to turn before Keira slipped something over her head. She felt plastic and fuzz behind her ears and something vaguely silky flopping down on to her forehead before she caught sight of Keira's own bunny ears and realised what was now on her own head.
This wasn't like her usually stoic friend. Keira and hijinks and pink fluffy things didn't really go together in Chloe's mind.
"Where the hell did these come from?" she asked, beginning to laugh.
That was when the pain hit. It was so brief and so intense that she didn't even manage to scream. She clutched at her head and stared in surprise at Keira, who was just standing there, grinning and giggling again.
"Don't worry!" said Keira. "It'll take a sec for the wire thingies to get into your brain but then you'll feel, like, amazing!"
Chloe whimpered. She reached up slowly, trying to remove the headband but found she couldn't move her fingers the last few centimetres needed to grasp it.
"Nuh-uh!" said Keira. "I tried the same thing but they don't let you do it. Isn't that super-smart?" She bounced up and down on her heels in her enthusiasm.
Chloe's arm fell limply back down by her side. The pain had subsided now, though she was still reeling from the shock. Had Keira said something about wires? Was something actually in her brain? She... She shouldn't worry about that.
She blinked. Some part of Chloe knew that she absolutely should be worried about that, in an abstract kind of way. But something else was saying she shouldn't be. And that other thing was, like, way louder.
Keira looked down at her friend, watching the confused smile emerge on her face and wondering if she'd looked that cute when her mind had broken. She wished she'd been looking in a mirror at the time.
"Can you feel yourself getting dumber yet?" she asked. "Good bunnies are dumb bunnies!"
"Good bunnies are..." Chloe hesitated but wasn't sure why. The pain was gone. She felt good. She was a good bunny. "Good bunnies are dumb bunnies..."
Keira clapped her hands together happily. "Say it again! Say it again!"
"Good bunnies are dumb bunnies," repeated Chloe, as the nanoscopic tendrils slithered through her brain, deleting swathes of education and opinion that she no longer needed. "Good bunnies are dumb bunnies!"
"Good bunnies do as they're told!" squealed Keira.
"Good bunnies bounce and breed!" Chloe replied with a giggle.
Keira reached out both hands and pulled her friend up from the couch. Chloe stumbled a little but stayed upright, her body still catching up to the trauma her mind had already forgotten.
The two of them danced together around the room, grinning and laughing and keeping themselves occupied while the final touches were made to the rewiring of their brains.
"Good bunnies are sexy bunnies!"
"Good bunnies are horny bunnies!"
"Good bunnies are bouncy bimbo bunnies!"
"Good bunnies make more bunnies!"
When Keira said that, something clicked in Chloe's head. She licked her lips. "They do... You totally did... You deserve a reward..."
Chloe grabbed her friend and pulled her into a passionate kiss. It felt better than anything either of them had ever experienced. Every nerve in their bodies was heightened, every touch from the other's roving hands was electrifying.
Keira's ex let himself in an hour later, with the key he had sworn to her he had lost. He found the two of them writhing naked together on the floor, hot and sweaty and still moaning in ecstasy.
"Hello, girls," he said and their eyes snapped towards him, each instantly forgetting about the other girl. "Are you going to be good bunnies for me?"
"Uh-huh!" they said in perfect unison.