simply happy

“I hope you don’t look back at this year and wish things had been better. Or worse, thinking things could have been better, if only you’d tried harder. That you should’ve changed as a person when you didn’t, that you should’ve let go and moved on when you couldn’t. I hope you don’t dwell on the opportunities you missed because you were afraid. I hope you don’t regret the time you wasted on the wrong moments and the wrong people. Please understand that you are growing as a person every single day and that not a week passes without you learning something for life. You are not the same person you were at the beginning of this year. You are stronger, you are better, you are several steps closer to becoming the person you want to be. Please know that you are healing, that you are in the middle of evolving. There are reasons why you had to fight so hard. Why you had to climb mountains and crash back down to earth before you learned how to fly. Look at the new year with hope in your heart. Chances are you will be someone brand new at the end of next year, someone you can’t even imagine right now.”

““Sometimes you tell someone to never call you again, and then the phone rings and you hope it’s them. It’s the most twisted logic of all time. ””

“Anxiety: the feeling where you question your value, your worth, your pride, yourself, everything…and you think. Overthink. All night. All you’re left with, is you, yourself, and a very dark place.”

“Anxiety ruins you. It turns a simple or non existent situation, into a catastrophe. It rips you from sleep. To the point where it makes you sick, because you’re so tired. It creates problems that aren’t even there. It’s like having a little devil on your shoulder. All the time, whispering what could go wrong. And what a nuisance you are, And how awful you are. So you start to repeat all the bad things about yourself. “Nobody wants you around” “You’re so boring” “You’re ugly” “Everyone is sick of you” “Your boyfriend is going to get tired of dealing with this” “You’re a mess all the time, how could anyone love that?” “Their lives would be better if you just went far away” Should I go away? It makes you angry over little things. It ruins your relationship because you’re always worried about everything. It makes you just want to be alone. To distance yourself. I haven’t seen my friends in 4 weeks. But wait, I forgot the panic attacks. I can’t breath. My heart is going out of control. I’m sweating. I’m dizzy. My chest is so tight. It feels like an elephant is sitting on it. All of this is going on in your head, But all people see is a polite smile. Anxiety ruins you. And it’s so damn tiring. To fight a battle inside your head, Every Single Day.”

“i struggle to sleep, and then when i finally fall asleep, i struggle to wake up. 
and i dont know which one is worse.”

“Sometimes, all you can do is lie in bed, and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart.”

“When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags”

“When people make you feel unwanted, don’t leave to make them feel sad or guilty, they won’t. Leave because you no longer have a reason to stay. Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. What’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not - won’t. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you and more than they deserve.”

“Do you want to be happy? Let go of what’s gone, be grateful for what remains, and look forward to what is coming.”