EYES OPEN.

'mobsters' are part of a 'mob'. and so you'd think 'lobsters' would be part of a 'lob', but ohohohhohoho, life just isn't so simple

oh to be a little dog sprinting at top speeds around the house with reckless abandon to release all the stress pent up from your extremely harrowing bathtime

I used to call in to my local radio station every day in middle school and request that they play the Kingdom Hearts theme and they never did because I didn’t understand how the radio worked back then but one day, one fucking day the radio host was like “for the kid who keeps requesting this song for two years straight, here you go, oh and by the way we’re blocking your number” and they fucking played it and beating the system was worth never being able to request a song ever again

oh to be a little dog sprinting at top speeds around the house with reckless abandon to release all the stress pent up from your extremely harrowing bathtime

can not pick this burrito up bc its heavy and im scared it’ll bust a fat burrito nut if i lift it so its positioned like a meat obelisk for me to deepthroat

Everything about this statement turned me on……

Would you like to publically role play sex about it?

the mandalorian? isn’t that bitch the powerhouse of the cell?