what awaits below?

Relamus is quiet for a few minutes.  Every attempt he makes to fix this only seems to make it worse.  ”…Do you want me to go away, for now?  I would understand.  I can leave you alone for the evening.”

"Yes." Dory sighs softly. "That might be best."

"I disagree.  They wouldn’t sell."

"I just can't hear those syrupy metaphors right now. I know you meant them to be comforting, but every reassurance feels cheap while I'm still angry with you."

"I never claimed to be good at this.  But it’s the truth."

"You should write romance novels."

"Augh," Dory pinches the bridge of his nose. 

"No."  He hesitates.  "You’re not the Sun.  But I’ve come to realize something,"  He adds.  "Will you look at me?  I would like to explain."

"If you're about to wax poetic about the ways you love me, then I would rather not."

"I know."  He’s quiet and calm. "I faltered, but I’ve made my choice."

Relamus lowers his gaze.  He’s in no position to protest, or say anything at all.  ”Very well.”  He offers no resistance.  ”I will go.  Try and get some rest.  I’ll be here, if you need me.”

Relamus doesn’t speak.  He stands, and slowly makes his way to Sindorin.  He extends one hand, in order to allow Sindorin to move away if he’d wish.  He waits, and then touches him on the shoulder.   He doesn’t speak.  There’s nothing to be said.

"Yes. No. I don't know."

Relamus bows his head.  ”You’re right.”  He isn’t going to fight it.  ”Tell me what you need me to do,”  He requests.  ”If there is something I can do to support you, to amend this in any way, I would like to know.  Yell at me, if you wish,”  He invites.  ”Shout.  Rage.  I’m here for it.”

"You’re right."  There is nothing left to say.  He doesn’t know how to fix this, or how to offer comfort.  He sighs, and shuts his eyes.  "..I love you, Sindorin.  And I’m shamed that I’ve hurt you.  That must not mean anything, either.  And I cannot blame you."

"Stop," he pleads. "I don't care how you're ashamed, and I don't like all this, this, self-deprecating shit. Don't tell me how I'm feeling!" He raises his voice. "Just sit there, and be wrong, and just let me be royally pissed at you for a while, okay? We're not done talking about this, but I can't right now." 

Dory stands up quickly. "No, you should have held onto it, and let your guilt eat you inside as long as you could, until you couldn't sleep, and couldn't eat, and couldn't even look at me without thinking about how much you'd hurt me, and maybe then we'd be halfway even. Lying would have been fairer." He growls. 

There’s little he can do.  Relamus reaches out with his hands, and tries to touch Sindorin’s.  What can he say?  He didn’t know.  He made the wrong choice.  He should not have strayed with Camille.  ”I didn’t want this.  But you deserved to know.  I wasn’t going to hide this from you.”

He shuts his eyes.  It’s painful.  Listening to Sindorin laugh like this is painful, and Relamus takes a deep breath against it.  He makes himself listen.  ”Sindorin,”  He murmurs.  ”Sindorin, stop.  Talk to me.”

"A spectacular change of subject, Relamus. You really know how to comfort a lover." Bitterly, he wipes at his eyes, as he's not sure if the hot tears pricking their corners are from laughter. 

Relamus grimaces.  This isn’t what he wants, and Sindorin’s laughter feels hollow.  It cuts deeply, but he doesn’t resent it.  He deserves those cuts.  Every slice, every wince.  He’s earned them all.  ”Sindorin,”  He murmurs.  He tries to meet his lover’s eyes.  ”I’m sorry.”

He can't seem to stop. He snorts, and he covers his mouth, emphatically shaking his head. "You -- you -- " He does manage between snickers, but he can't stop. He's probably in shock. "While I was being tortured, and you and Camille -- it's so funny."

Sindorin is quiet for a moment. He stares straight ahead, his expression, for the time being, unreadable. He has to take a beat for this to set in. He exhales forcefully, and he looks like he's about to speak, but first, a breathless chuckle passes his lips. It escalates slowly into dry, almost uncontrollable cackling. 

"No.  You don’t."  He wants to drop this subject.  But it’s been eating at him, and he fears that if he leaves it for much longer, it’ll cause a rift between them.  "…Sindorin . There’s something I must admit to you."

Sindorin sighs, long and slow, shutting his eyes. Another deep breath, and he's settled some of his stress. Rel doesn't deserve to have it taken out on him. "Of course. I'm listening," he gently replies.