down at the stable

I guess every person who believes in bi!Dean has ever thought “but why has this silly guy never come out? He’s obviously flustered by men but he never really tries”.

And!

There’s the cut scene from 14x14, “Ouroboros”, where Dean says John used him as a bait for evil truckers.

And if we think more than a second, we can see young Dean with his big green eyes and plump lips, playing innocence and taking dirty hints to distract the monster.

So. One more time.

Dean knocks on the door, smiles, flirts, winks and finally gets inside.

John is getting ready. Dean is still in the truck cabin with a lustful monster.

How far is he going? Hardly think John cares. He’s waiting for the perfect moment, while Dean is being touched or maybe even kissed, because Dean is a good soldier. And good soldiers don’t ruin the Hunt.

It wasn’t one time or two.

“Dad made me do it all the time”.

Dean was being touched by men against his will constantly, so over time he just couldn’t perceive gay people as he used to do.

We all talk about John being homophobic, but what if it wasn’t the reason?

What if Dean just couldn’t imagine himself with a man and not see all these truck drivers instead?

What if that’s why he never flirts with men in early seasons.

He still remembers too well. He still sees not enough positive examples.

What if that’s why a little later even drunk he could only flirt, but not sleep with men. Because sleep means lust. And men’s lust is disgusting and dangerous.

What if only years later he watches “Brokeback mountain” for the first time, witnesses Jack Twist’s love and yearning and pain and thinks “wow. that was pure. that was real”.

What if the process we can see through all the seasons is not a getting rid of the internalized homophobia, but a healing?

⟢ "Something is wrong with me. Has been for a long time. I've gotten very good at hiding it in plain sight."

⟢ "You want to know what fear really is? Fear is realizing the monster was someone you ate dinner with every night."

⟢ "I know what darkness looks like from the inside. It doesn't look like anything. That's the point."

⟢ "There are rooms in me I don't go into. I sealed them up for good reason. Don't go looking for the doors."

⟢ "I've been smiling so long the muscles remember how even when nothing is funny."

⟢ "Something happened in that house. Nobody talks about what happened in that house. I talk about it now. I talk about it because silence is how it survives."

⟢ "The thing about real evil is it looks so normal. It sits across from you at breakfast and asks how you slept."

⟢ "I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of what I think about in it."

⟢ "You want the truth? The truth is ugly and small and doesn't make sense and that's exactly why it's true."

⟢ "I kept the secret so long it became part of me. Now I don't know where I end and it begins."

⟢ "Something broke in me a long time ago. I've just gotten very skilled at arranging the pieces so it doesn't show."

⟢ "The worst things don't happen in the dark. They happen at noon in kitchens and living rooms while everyone pretends."

⟢ "I'm not scared of dying. I'm scared of all the years before it."

⟢ "There are things I remember that I've never said out loud. They live in me like something feral."

⟢ "I know what I'm capable of. That's the part I don't share at parties."

⟢ "You think you know what happened. You have the outline. Nobody has the inside."

⟢ "I've been haunted for so long the haunting feels like company."

⟢ "The thing nobody says about surviving is that sometimes survival looks a lot like damage."

⟢ "I don't sleep well. Haven't for years. The nights got too loud for too long and my brain never forgot."

⟢ "You're not afraid of me." - "Should I be." - "Most people are." - "I'm not most people." - "No. You really aren't."

⟢ "I've been alive for three hundred years and you're the first thing in a very long time that felt like a reason."

⟢ "What are you." - "Dangerous." - "To me specifically." - "...no. Not to you. Never to you."

⟢ "I don't have a heartbeat." - "I know." - "That doesn't bother you." - "Your hands are warm. Nothing else matters."

⟢ "I've watched civilizations fall. I've watched everything end and begin again. I have never once felt like this."

⟢ "You should run." - "From you?" - "From what I am." - "What you are is currently making me coffee. I think I'll stay."

⟢ "I'm not human." - "I know." - "You've always known." - "Since the beginning." - "And you stayed." - "And I stayed."

⟢ "I've done terrible things." - "Before me." - "Yes." - "Are you going to do them again." - "Not if I can help it." - "Then we're okay."

⟢ "You smell like—" - "If you finish that sentence I'm leaving." - "—home. I was going to say home."

⟢ "I've been pretending to be human for so long I forgot what it felt like to just... be. Until you."

⟢ "What happens when you get angry." - "You don't want to know." - "I'm still here aren't I." - "...yes. You are."

⟢ "I can hear your heartbeat." - "What does it sound like." - "Right now? Terrified." - "Right now? Yeah." - "Of me." - "Of how much I—yeah. Of you adjacent things."

⟢ "You're immortal." - "Yes." - "What do you do with someone like me." - "I don't know. I've never wanted to before."

⟢ "I've eaten kings. I want you to know that before this goes further." - "Noted. Were they terrible kings." - "Mostly." - "Then we're fine."

⟢ "I don't know how to do this. Any of this. I've never—" - "Neither have I." - "You're human." - "And you're not. We're both figuring it out."

⟢ "Stay." - "I always leave eventually." - "Stay anyway." - "You'd age. You'd—" - "Stay with me anyway."

⟢ "I can feel everything you feel." - "Everything?" - "Every single thing." - "That's—" - "Overwhelming? Yes. Worth it? Also yes."

⟢ "You're the most dangerous thing I've ever encountered." - "I'm making you soup." - "The most dangerous thing I've ever encountered is making me soup and I don't know what to do with that."

⟢ "I've loved people before. I've watched them die. I swore I wouldn't do it again." - "And." - "And then there was you. And I'm apparently a fool regardless of how many centuries I've had to learn better."

⟢ "What do you want from me." - "Nothing you haven't already given." - "Which is." - "Everything. You've already given me everything and I don't think you even noticed."

⟢ "You make me want to be something worth being."

⟢ "I will still be here long after you're gone. I want you to know I've already decided that's worth it. You're worth the grief of it."

⟢ "Don't you dare stand there and pretend you didn't know exactly what you were doing."

⟢ "I built my entire world around you. You didn't even notice it crumbling."

⟢ "Say it again. Say it to my face this time."

⟢ "I'm not angry. I'm just so, so tired of being disappointed by you."

⟢ "We don't have to do this right now. We never have to do this again."

⟢ "You remember everything except the things that actually mattered."

⟢ "I keep waiting for you to be the person I fell in love with. I think I need to stop waiting."

⟢ "Don't tell me to calm down. I have every right to be exactly this."

⟢ "I defended you. Every single time. I stood there and defended you."

⟢ "You want me to forgive you? Give me one reason I should."

⟢ "I can't look at you right now without seeing everything you took from me."

⟢ "There are things you said to me that I will carry for the rest of my life. That's on you."

⟢ "You didn't save me. Stop telling people you saved me."

⟢ "I'm not the villain in your story just because I stopped letting you write mine."

⟢ "Do you hear yourself? Do you ever actually listen to the words coming out of your mouth?"

⟢ "I grieved you while you were still standing right in front of me."

⟢ "You always know exactly what to say to make it worse. That's a talent, truly."

⟢ "I don't want an apology. I want you to understand what you did."

⟢ "You left and I still made excuses for you. What does that say about me."

⟢ "Just because you're hurting doesn't give you the right to make everyone else bleed."

⟢ "I trusted you with the parts of me I never show anyone. And you used them."

⟢ "There's a version of us I still think about. It just doesn't have you in it."

⟢ "You don't get to be the one who comforts me right now. Not after this."

⟢ "I'm not broken. Stop looking at me like I'm something you need to fix."

⟢ "All I ever asked was for you to stay. That's all. And you couldn't even give me that."

⟢ "Don't call it a misunderstanding. You knew. You always knew."

⟢ "I watched you choose everything else and tell yourself it wasn't a choice."

⟢ "Maybe I should've said nothing. I spent years saying nothing and look where that got us."

⟢ "You can leave whenever you want. The door works just fine, as you know."

⟢ "I'm not the same person who would've let you speak to me like that. Adjust accordingly."

⟢ "She needed you and you weren't there. I needed you and you weren't there. Do you see a pattern?"

⟢ "I don't hate you. Hating you would mean you still matter."

⟢ "Go ahead. Walk away. You've had enough practice."

⟢ "I'm not doing this to punish you. I'm doing this because I finally stopped punishing myself."

⟢ "You want credit for the bare minimum. Congratulations. You existed. Here's a medal."

⟢ "I have loved you past the point of reason. Past the point of dignity. Don't make me regret it more than I already do."

⟢ "There were a hundred moments where you could've told me the truth. You chose none of them."

⟢ "I keep having this dream where we're fine. And then I wake up."

⟢ "You were the one person who was supposed to understand. And you didn't even try."

⟢ "I will never let you make me feel small again. I want you to know that."

⟢ "Don't follow me. And don't pretend it's because you care."

⟢ "She's my sister. Whatever you did to get here, you leave her out of it."

⟢ "I forgave you the first time because I loved you. The second time because I was scared. There won't be a third."

⟢ "Some people are wounds. I didn't know that about you until it was too late."

⟢ "You broke something in me. I'm not sure you deserve to know what it was."

⟢ "Say you're sorry like you mean it or don't say it at all."

⟢ "I kept every letter. Every one. I don't know why I'm telling you that."

⟢ "This is the last time I let you close enough to do this."

⟢"You think I don't know? I've known for months. I just kept waiting to see if you'd tell me yourself."

⟢ "I don't even want an explanation anymore. I want you to sit with what you did."

⟢ "I miss who I was before I let you convince me I was too much."

⟢ "You talked about forever like it was nothing. I guess it was."

⟢ "I don't need you to fight my battles. I need you to stop causing them."

⟢ "Please don't tell me this is for the best. You don't get to narrate this for me."

⟢ "We could've been something good. You decided we weren't going to be."

⟢ "She cried and you laughed it off. I need you to understand why that was unforgivable."

⟢ "Put the blame wherever you need to. We both know the truth."

⟢ "You think this is a fight. I think this is a funeral."

⟢ "You have no idea how hard I've worked to become someone you can't hurt."

⟢ "I used to think if I loved you harder it would be enough. It was never the problem."

⟢ "You don't get to call it grief if you're the one who caused it."

⟢ "I would've given you the world. I think that's exactly why you left."

⟢ "I'm exhausted by the version of me that still hopes for better from you."

⟢ "All those promises. You said them like you meant them. Did you ever mean any of them?"

⟢ "She was my best friend before she was anything to you. Remember that."

⟢ "I used to think you were the one person who would never lie to me. Live and learn."

⟢ "You don't get to come back here with that face and expect me to fall apart again."

⟢ "I am so tired of loving people who can only love themselves."

⟢ "I'm not scared of you anymore. I need you to know that's not a threat, it's a goodbye."

⟢ "You wanted a version of me that doesn't exist. I nearly destroyed myself trying to become her."

1. The FBI's Famous Cases & Criminals archive (fbi.gov/history/famous-cases) has detailed breakdowns of real fraud cases, Ponzi schemes, and confidence operations. The language they use is clinical and precise, which is perfect for getting the procedural details right.

2. The FTC Consumer Sentinel Network publishes annual reports on the most common fraud tactics in the US. Great for understanding how modern scams actually work and what makes people fall for them.

3. The Smithsonian's American Art Museum has a free digital collection of forgery case studies. If your character forges documents or art, this is gold.

4. Court Listener (courtlistener.com) is a free legal database where you can read actual court transcripts from fraud trials. Want to know how a real con artist talks under oath? This is where you find out.

5. The Internet Archive's collection of old newspaper crime sections. Search for "confidence man" or "swindle" in papers from the 1920s through 1960s and you'll find incredible real stories that would feel too dramatic for fiction.

Bonus: The Psychology of Fraud section on the Association for Psychological Science website has accessible articles about why people trust, how deception works cognitively, and what makes someone a convincing liar. Essential reading if you want your con artist characters to feel psychologically real.

✦ "Never tell the full truth. But never tell a full lie either. That's the art."

✦ "I've worn so many faces I sometimes forget which one is mine."

✦ "You're good. You almost had me. Almost."

✦ "Trust is a tool. Use it carefully and never let anyone use it on you."

✦ "The plan changed three times before breakfast. Keep up."

✦ "I've conned kings and criminals. You're somehow harder to read than both."

✦ "Don't get attached to the role. The role ends. You have to keep living."

✦ "Everyone has a tell. Yours is that you breathe differently when you lie."

✦ "I wasn't supposed to feel guilty. That's new for me and deeply inconvenient."

✦ "We got in fine. Getting out is the part that always costs something."

✦ "You trusted me knowing what I am. That's either brave or foolish."

✦ "I lied about everything except one thing. Figure out which one."

v "The best cons make the mark feel like they won. Remember that."

✦ "I've stolen a lot of things. You're the first thing I wanted to keep."