Black Cat Monogatari

Music unearthed from relics of the world ring truer than original sounds of the system.

Perhaps this is a result of the stories left untold in the melodies of the past.

I can not say whether or not we understand the gravity and depth of the world before us; I can only posit that we do indeed feel the vibrations through your melancholy.

Through your craft and culture, you continue to shape the reality you left behind.

An earlier claim mentioned the present state of art as insufficient…

It is not insufficient. It merely lacks a conscious approach, an approach which fully considers the plethora of influences it will scar the universe with.

And as they say, scars are a beautiful thing.

Whispers stream forth from a world consumed by itself,

an Ouroboros of lives engaging in destruction,

striving toward a life worth living.

Of these whispers, a faint battlecry emerges;

“Heed not the world around you, but the world within.”

Existence has no need for justification.

Temperance manifests in a vacuum of emptiness.

Void shakes the very prana of the planet,

calming the widespread maelstrom of despair.

In your eyes, I find solace.

Please, never release me.

It’s been awhile, blog.

I’ve always taken pride in my style while dancing. Taking my time to listen to the music and interpreting the rhythm, instrumentation, and lyrics into movement. Shaking the feeling that it’s not enough has become increasingly difficult lately.

I seem to consistently come up short in competitions recently. Does it mean I’m getting closer or further away from my goals?

Does winning equate to being good? I don’t feel like it should. So then, by what standard do we measure our skill?

Actually, I may just have to accept this. Although I don’t always remain the victor by the end of each event, I at least make it out of preliminary rounds consistently now.

I guess there is progress. Yet I remain highly unsatisfied with the rate at which it is progressing.

I didn’t make Top 8 at UOK’s Anniversary, but managed to battle in a dope cypher battle. I lost to UOK at the Trinity Hip-Hop Festival, but I at least made it to Top 8. Even today, I lost again in Top 8, but I guess it was dope representing my style.

I just hope I’m making her proud. I don’t just do it for myself anymore. I do it for her.

So yeah, check my style. It’s all I’ve got.

A little over a week ago, I went on a road trip to Philadelphia again. It was one of the better roadtrips, with good vibes throughout the entirety of said trip. Lily, Peter, Jamie, Lokito, and I were headed to Kingdom Come 3 in order to attend and experience yet another exciting event.

I felt like I did very well.

However, I also realized just how much a role politics, connections, and networking played a role in furthering my career. It raises a question I would truly love to know the answer to...

"Does skill really matter?"

Regardless of the outcome, I was able to represent myself and that's always a wonderful opportunity. I actually had a cold throughout the trip, but I tried not to let it bother me too much, and now it has passed for the most part.

Last Friday was yet another grand opportunity for me. I was asked to judge MCPHSU's mock jam. I was afraid that it would be difficult but in the end it was actually pretty relaxing, even though I had to be at attention at all times. I think it helps that I'm still very much interested in the blossoming scene. I try not to be so high and mighty that I don't watch battles, expecting them to be of a lower caliber. After the main competition wrapped up, a cypher opened up and I think it may have been the most fun I've had in a cypher, actually. I realized that my talents actually suited me far better in that atmosphere and not the competitions and stages, but I still enjoy both just as equally.

After resting up last week and taking training pretty easily, today I reentered the fray. I decided to do a double practice, and I'm very glad I did. I got to meet Fleg, an up and coming DJ in the breaking scene, brush up on some old concepts, create some new concepts, and push my body even further. MIT practice is great because I feel like I have to impress my new crew, but today I realized they already like my style for what it is.

It's strange, I still feel very wary of this new chapter in my breaking life.

Yet I can't help but feel like I'm growing as well!

"This carousel, brings us round and round, this labyrinth of life, you can't tell up from down!"

Last weekend was inspiring, for lack of a better word.

I entered a competition in New Jersey, and made it all the way to the finals. Inspiration flooded through my body after my loss, knowing that I pushed myself to a point beyond my usual capacity. Although I admit the competition wasn't too high, I didn't necessarily hold back too much either.

After a night at a hotel in NJ, we tried out a ramen shop and got some bubble tea. Both foodstuff experiences were equally delicious. I'm glad I got to try those spots out with my Lovely. 

Afterwards, we headed into New York to drop off Peter at Rhythm Warz, another breaking competition. After some encouragement from Heat Rock, I decided to enter and push myself even further. I lost to Zebra in the first round, but I kind of expected as much. I still consider myself a better dancer than him, but I do believe he is a stronger bboy. I was comforted by the fact that he didn't get all of the votes; Jiggz actually thought it was a tie.

To finish off the jam-packed weekend, we went to go support James, Beon, and KSquare at Rock For Supremacy, a rock dance jam whose main event consisted of a 7-To-Smoke. I cyphered a bit, brushing the dust off of my rocking skills, but that wasn't what I was there for. I was there to watch my friends dance. The main event was ridiculously hype, although I felt as if I could have done very well if I decided to enter. Oh well, I'm not a rocker. Main Event took the main event, coincidentally.

Afterwards, I headed back to Boston with my Lovely. I'm so happy that she supports me and my lame-o spirit, and I don't want to let her down. 

On a random note, she got me Taco Bell! Ahh, Taco Bell is my weakness. As long as it isn't soggy, anyways.

However, what did I learn from this weekend about myself and my dance?

Dancing and vibing more in the cypher is a good idea.

Save my moves for the competition.

Create more moves.

Utilize direction and height changes more often.

Throw longer rounds.

Believe in myself.

Travel more.

I'm so lucky. Perhaps I need to trust in the essence of myself a little more. It seems to me that I will never have everybody support me, and so I think it's fair to say that I should support myself. But then again, why do I expect anyone to support me? It's not like I go out of my way to support others, right?

What does the real me look like?

Am I scared of who I am?