extra small espresso

i was incredibly dysphoric about my round face and softer features until i started looking at the faces of hispanic men and realized that those features weren’t feminine at all, they were ethnic features white supremacy had conditioned me to see as less masculine

dream tiger,,,,,, she has bewitched me,,,,,,

DO

celebrate other people's good news (tell them that what happened was great, they earned/deserve it, you're happy for them, elaborate on how it's a good thing and why they deserve to be happy about it)

sympathize with other people's troubles (tell them what they're going through sucks, they did their best, point out that not all is lost (use examples of what they still have going for them) but it can still fucking suck)

react and ask questions related to what people say to you (ask for elaborations or explanations, ask about future plans, ask how things went before, relate the things they've said now to things they've said in the past, use their name sometimes, add your own (positive or neutral) perspective on the events, share related experiences)

if someone is instigating a fight or pissing you off, just walk away -- or, if it's all online, block them (it'll make you look better, i promise)

ask about their day/state and pay attention to what they say, and apply the first three as needed

snark or make jokes/puns, if you have them, and be willing to laugh at other people's jokes/snark/puns

share good events, interesting things, and the things that make you happy/excited (try not to 'qualify' these, i.e. add on reasons why you should be sad about the news, or why the news wasn't actually that great -- it's not the end of the world if you do, but it does defeat the purpose a bit)

share bad events or things you're unhappy about (it's important to open up, and it's unreasonable to expect yourself to be happy all the time; just make sure it's balanced out by the positives as well)

remember that nobody does things that are senseless, and the sooner you can figure out why someone is doing what they're doing, the easier it'll be to deal with and negotiate (common reasons for baffling or harmful actions are: distress, self-interest, misguided altruism, unquestioned biases, peer pressure, thoughtlessness)

keep in mind that everyone (including you) is doing their best at any given time, and sometimes that 'best' just isn't that good

TRY NOT TO

be harsh about or insult yourself (keeping in mind that that is taking side swipes at other people who have those traits, regardless of how you mean it)

point out why people should feel bad about the things they're happy about

ignore all the specifics of what the person you're speaking with is saying

spend a significant amount of time mocking other people (we all need to vent and we all have our moments; the operative word here is significant -- don't make it your personality)

put down to malice what can adequately be explained by stupidity (don't assume someone is being cruel when they could just as well be doing it because they're dumb/oblivious)

dismiss or belittle other people's distress (it's not a competition, and their distress is real regardless)

dismiss or belittle other people's happiness or interest (it's not a competition, and their happiness is something you want in order to Not Be Mean)

(this is both non-exhaustive and not ironclad, simply a list of general things to aim for and skills to practice)

Diné Weaver Venancio Aragón

"From researching historic twill patterns in museum collections to dyeing wool with Kool-Aid, Diné (Navajo) weaver and instructor Venancio Aragón interlocks research and experimentation to expand the visual and technical vocabularies of Diné weaving. Working on the Diné upright loom, Aragón is part of a generation of Diné weavers who reinterpret ancestral knowledge through experimentation, carrying the medium forward on their own terms. As he stated in our interview with him, “I am not a purist.”

Based in Farmington, New Mexico, Aragón is trained in cultural anthropology and Native American and Indigenous studies, currently teaching at Diné College, the Navajo Nation’s tribal college. Before transitioning to full-time weaving and teaching, Aragón worked as an interpretive park ranger at the Mesa Verde, Aztec Ruins, Bandelier, and Petroglyph National Monuments, where he led tours and developed public education initiatives. He was born to the Tó’aheedlíinii (The Water Flow Together People) clan and born for the Naakaii (Mexican people). His maternal grandfather is of the Tsénahabiłnii (Sleeping Rock) clan, and his paternal grandfather is of the Naakaii (Mexican people)."

It tastes like a pumpkin gingerbread cake! Great treat for fall and winter!

Tim Cain's Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins -- They're the shadow king's favorite!

1 and 2/3 cup flour

2 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp cloves

1/4 tsp baking powder

2 eggs

1 cup chocolate chips

1 cup sugar

1 tsp nutmeg

1 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1 cup pumpkin (half of a 16 oz can)

1/2 cup (one stick) butter, melted

Tim Cain is one of the creators of Fallout

and he is an overall delight