美的

it's weird because i cannot remember not using it in the past 15 years. it grew on me, and gosh how thankful i am for those 2 guys creating a sort of social media where i didn't have to use my own words, i could easily express myself with gifs, random images and quotes.

is this the adulthood they've been talking about? i no longer have the energy and the time to play stupid games, 26 is about my weekly therapy, grieving, accepting diagnoses, planning and going on trips to all the countries on my bucket list, shaking crying throwing up, bangs shorter than ever, german lessons until I fall asleep, raves until we cannot feel our feet, writing letters, going to theatre, losing 11+ kilos and lifting shitass heavy weights 7 in the morning, having the honour to be the wedding witness of one of the most important ppl in my life, kisses and freezing cold on tibidabo, running through wenceslas square at midnight like two kids and having a mental breakdown in mcdonalds. it's being as honest as i can be. 26 is about finding love in the most unexpected places.

sometimes i wish I shared those moments here, and sometimes i wish i was able to hold onto every single second of these memories. even the bad ones, especially that cold March morning i'm unable to talk about, because that's how i know love reeeeally exists, in case i forget about all this profound shit, it's real and it's deeply entangled in me. this week, someone from kindergarten said i'll always be their first choice as a friend. oh, my one and only empirikus táltosasszonyom, i have the greatest time with you even if we're just sitting on a dirty train for 8 hours half asleep eating cookies. have I talked about how dancing to elvis presley with you in the living room makes me feel like? oh and did someone just check on me today on this hellplace saying that they miss me and everything is far more boring without my nonsense posts?

lol it's really nonse btw, i had 0 intention writing this. it's just me and hoping for a better christmas this year, appreciating all the great and less great stuff, with or without tumblr, ig we'll never know.