i used to identify as a really masc butch lesbian for a long time, then fell in love with a guy... but that didnt make me try to appear more feminine or drastically change the way i behave, no, i felt the need to appear smart, capable and strong in front of him and also to protect him from danger? it was kinda funny since he was just a cishet guy completely unprepared for a girl acting like that, it didnt really go anywhere, but im glad to hear im not the only person to experience something like this. thank you for this blog!
Yeah! I think it’s very frustrating that the current universal assumption seems to be that attraction to men makes someone feminine, and that there is one way attraction to men feels like (“wow he’s so powerful, I love how feminine he makes me feel!” or something).
I COMPLETELY understand what you mean!!!! That impulse to impress him, the desire to seem all tough and capable and smart (and in more of like a ‘knightly’ way than a ‘girlboss’ way?), the insatiable need to keep him safe (…even if he isn’t in danger 🤣) And etc. And personally, I love to buy flowers, take him on dates, I love being called handsome, being big spoon. I love being a “boyfriend” to my boyfriend.
I will say it definitely makes for a notable and very confusing experience when you’re attracted to men in a masculine way, because… no one ever talks about that being a thing that can even happen 😂
It’s also a beautiful experience, though. Even if the ignorance of society at large can feel heavy— personally, now that I understand it more and embrace it, it’s grown to be a part of my identity that I genuinely love and have pride in. I’ve really enjoyed being able to share that positivity with others through this blog, so thank you for being part of that!! I might be the one running this blog, but it’s the people who interact with it that keep it alive 🖤
P.s. Idk if this was your experience or not Anon, but the way that mainstraight cishet men tend to respond negatively to masculine attraction from women is like… A Whole Entire Topic that I have several posts planned for 😅 I have so much more to say about it but to keep it brief for now since I’ve already rambled so much haha:
1) Nobody talks about how hurtful that can be!!!!
And 2) I want everyone to know that there are men out there who will understand, there are men out there who will not just tolerate the way you’re attracted to men but love it, or even search and long for it too even before they meet you.
For every woman out there wishing she had a man to sweep off his feet, there’s a man out there wishing he had a woman to be swept off his feet by. (I say this not out of theory, but from personal experience!)
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