3!lisH's B4by

You pull up to Billie’s place just as the sun starts dipping below the horizon, casting an amber glow over the quiet neighborhood. You park your car in her driveway, getting out of your car and locking it. You adjust your skirt before making your way to her door, getting ready to knock before the door swings open.

Billie stands in the doorway, leaning against the frame, her piercing blue eyes dragging over you slowly, deliberately. She doesn’t speak right away, she just takes her time looking, the tension thick already.

You shift under her gaze, a slow smirk creeping onto your lips. “You gonna let me in, or just stand there staring?”

Billie huffs out a laugh, “You’re wearin’ that on purpose.” Her voice is low, slightly raspy, a dangerous edge to it.

You glance down at yourself, feigning innocence. The tight plaid skirt clings to your hips, riding up slightly when you move, and paired with the fitted top you chose, it’s clear you were aiming for a reaction.

“And if I am?” you tease, stepping past her into the house.

The door shuts behind you with a soft click, and before you can take another step, Billie’s already on you. Her hands grip your waist, pulling you flush against her, and that’s when you feel it—hard, thick, pressing against your ass, through the fabric of her baggy shorts. Your breath catches and Billie notices.

“You feel that?” she murmurs, her voice low, almost a growl. She shifts her hips slightly, just enough to make sure you feel her strap.

Your hands blindly reach around to the back of her neck, tugging her head down into your shoulder. Billie leaves a trail of kisses up the side of your neck, breathing in your intoxicating scent. She presses even closer, her mouth hovering just over your ear. “Knew you’d show up dressed like this,” she continues, her tone dark and teasing. “Lookin’ all pretty, actin’ like you didn’t want me to fuckin’ ruin you.”

You whimper at her words, your thighs pressing together, seeking some kind of friction. Billie’s grip tightens on your waist, keeping you exactly where she wants you. “What’s wrong, baby?” she purrs, grinding against you just slightly, making your breath catch in your throat. “This what you wanted?”

You nod, but it’s not enough for her. Her fingers dig into your hips as she rolls them forward again, letting you feel the outline of her strap again. “Nah,” she mutters, her lips brushing your jaw. “Say it.”

A blush creeps up on your cheeks, turning your upper half a soft pink shade as you whisper out. “I wanted this.”

Billie groans, low and rough. “Fuckin’ knew it.” She smirks into your neck, biting down and sucking hard, expertly leaving a dark purple bruise. Billie pulls away, admiring her work before pulling her body off of yours, completely.

“C’mere,” she mutters, grabbing your wrist and pulling you toward the living room. Her grip is firm, possessive, like she’s been waiting to get her hands on you. It had been weeks since you last saw each other, after all.

She drops down onto the couch, spreading her legs wide as she tugs you onto her lap, your thighs straddling hers. You barely have time to catch your breath before you feel the thick length of her strap pressing up between your legs.

You squirm in her lap, shifting just enough to make the strap-on rub against your clothed core, and Billie groans, gripping your hips tighter. “Fuck,” she mutters, watching you with hooded eyes. “Look at you, already grinding on it like a needy little slut. Does it feel good, pretty girl?”

You nod, biting your lip, and Billie tugs you closer, her lips brushing against your ear.

“C’mon, say it,” she whispers, her voice low and commanding. “Tell me how bad you want it.”

Heat rushes through your core as you continue to roll your hips against her strap. “Please, Billie,” you whimper, leaning forward, your lips barely brushing against hers. “I need it. Need you.”

Billie groans, her fingers digging into your thighs. “Fuck,” she mutters. “Good girl.”

Without another word, her hands pull your skirt up higher, fingers hooking into your panties and dragging them down in one swift motion. Before you can even process Billie’s own shorts coming off, she grips your hips again and grinds your now exposed cunt down against her strap, spreading your slick against the toy.

A choked moan escapes you, and Billie grins. “Mmm, that’s my pretty slut,” she murmurs, rocking you against her in slow, deliberate motions. “So fuckin’ wet for me already.”

She leans in, lips brushing against your ear as her hands guide your movements, dragging you against her strap, making you whimper with every stroke. “You’re gonna take it so well for me, aren’t you?”

You nod frantically, gripping her shoulders to steady yourself as she rolls her hips up into you, teasing your entrance.

“Yeah,” Billie groans, voice thick with need. “Let me fuck you just how you need it, baby.”

Billie reaches down and lines herself up with your entrance, kissing you deeply before lowering you down onto her strap, burying every inch of it inside you. The stretch is overwhelming, burning in the best way, and Billie just groans beneath you, her blue eyes dark with hunger as she watches it disappear inside of you.

“Fuck,” she breathes, voice rough. “Look at you.” She drags her hands up your sides, slow and deliberate, before one of her hands slides up to your throat. She squeezes just enough to make your breath stutter beneath her grip, her fingers press harder into the sides of your neck, making your eyes roll back.

“Such a good girl,” she murmurs, her lips barely brushing against yours. “Taking me so fuckin’ deep.”

Her free hand grips your hip, guiding you as you start to move, rolling your hips against her, lifting yourself up only to drop back down, making the strap fill you again and again. The sound of your breathless moans fill the room and Billie groans, her fingers tightening around your throat.

“That’s it, baby,” she rasps, watching you with hooded eyes. “Ride me just like that.”

You whimper, your body already trembling, and Billie chuckles darkly. “So fuckin’ desperate,” she murmurs, her grip tightening just slightly, cutting off your air for a brief second before she loosens her hold, letting you gasp out. “You like this, huh? Like bein’ choked while you fuck yourself on my cock?”

You nod desperately, nails digging into her shirt, fisting it between your fingers. Your eyebrows furrow in concentration, riding her with every ounce of energy you can muster up.

“Yeah, I knew you would,” Billie mutters, her free hand coming down hard on your ass, spanking you, encouraging you to continue. “You’re so fuckin’ greedy. Look at you, already shaking, and I’m not even done with you yet.”

She suddenly bucks her hips up, slamming the strap even deeper, making your whole body jolt. You let out a high pitched moan and Billie smirks, doing it again, fucking up into you now as her grip on your throat keeps you steady on her lap.

“That’s it, baby,” she groans, her voice rough, breathless. “You’re gonna come for me just like this, yeah? All over my cock?”

You groan, your body already on the edge, your orgasm quickly approaching. She loosens her hold on your neck just enough for you to suck in a desperate breath, then tightens her grip again.

“Go on,” she whispers, her other hand slipping between you, finding your clit and rubbing it in slow, tight circles. “Come for me, baby.”

She continues her relentless thrusts, the obscene sound of skin slapping on skin echoes off the walls. The pressure around your throat and the rough circles on your clit suddenly become too much as your whole body tenses with white hot pleasure, your orgasm washing over you.

Billie groans at the sight, her hand leaving your throat only to grab your waist, holding you still as she grinds up into you, dragging out every last drop of your orgasm.

“Fuck,” you mutter out, your head dropping down onto Billie’s forehead, your heavy breaths mixing with hers. She grins, stilling inside of you.

“So fuckin’ proud of you pretty girl. You did so well for me, as always.” Billie murmurs, brushing your sweat slicked hair off your face and behind your ear.

“Missed you so much,” Your hands wrap around her, pulling her closer before planting a soft kiss on her lips. She smiles into the kiss, before pulling back, taking in your wrecked appearance, a content look on her face.

“Missed you more, baby.”

my masterlist

she had led you inside, made her friend— which you now know that his name is brayden— roll her a joint, and had flipped on her heel and clicked the door behind her. 

she insisted with a sweet voice and her soft blue eyes that you didn’t have to pay with money, and that there was always another way. she had leaned against her dresser with such smoothness that was so unlike your beady skin and anxious heart, and it didn’t ease your nerves in the slightest. she kept flickering her lighter back and forth, back and forth, and the repeating sensation was enough for you to snap. 

billie, of course, was amused at how nervous you were. it wasn’t like you two hadn’t had sex before— you had, intensely at that. but you weren’t sober then and you were now and the difference was somehow more acute than you thought. 

“you always this nervous,” she had asked you, her eyes more focused on the flickering of her lighter than anything, “or just when you owe me?”

your throat went dry. 

“i told you i would get the money, billie—“ 

“i don’t run a charity, princess. there’s no exceptions for anyone, even my cute customers.” 

she had gotten so close to you now that you involuntarily huffed in the smell of smoke on her hoodie that mixed with a strong vanilla perfume. her eyes darted all over you, hungry and so impatient that her hands began working alongside them, finding home on your waist, and then your ass, and in less than a minute, you were slipped underneath her sheets one again with her nude body pressed against yours. 

after that second time, there wasn’t much to discuss anymore. you and billie had made it official and since you weren’t just her ‘special’ customer anymore, she obviously didn’t ever make you pay for your weed. 

apparently all it took was less than sixty days to lull billie deep into whatever spell you accidentally spilled on her. sixty days of late nights, of your clothes to find themselves hanging in her closet or draped on her floor, of you showing up unannounced so many times that you had basically moved in. sixty days of her hands all over you like you were hers, but you never minded.

and everyone knew that. you weren’t necessarily sure on who ‘everyone’ consisted of, but you weren’t hellbent on knowing. billie had always told you that with her, you would never come into trouble because you were her girl. at the time, it made you question every single thing about the things your girlfriend was really involved with. did everyone she had beef with now have beef with you too? did you share the same group of friends? did she have anything that was ‘shoved under the rug’ that could now be pulled into the light?

you had a lot of questions, but you’d never dare to ask them. it’d be better to be ignorant in bliss than a girl with a head full of answers with a bullet right behind it. 

in present time, you sat on billie’s bed, in her clothes with a bag of her snacks, pretending to be scrolling aimlessly on your phone. she’s perched at her desk just a few feet away, counting cash and bagging her weed. though it was obviously illegal, you loved watching her do it. there was something so irresistible about looking at her package her weed up, push her money aside, and the way she’d blow air upwards to push a strand out of her face when she was focused. 

the videos on your phone fall silent as you let yourself stare. the quiet finally reaches billie and she turns in her chair to look at you with an eyebrow cocked. 

“got something to say?”

you hesitate for a second. you had an idea– one you knew she’d hate the second you let the syllables fall from your lips, but it was worth a try. 

“i could help you…you know.” you muster up, shifting on billie’s comforter in attempt to make yourself somewhat more comfortable with your statement. you knew it’d be a hard no, but in your mind, the logic was simple. being her girlfriend means that by association, you're on whatever she’s on. if you’re going to be dragged into it as an accomplice, might as well go all the way, right?

your words make billie pause. she’s still looking at you, but then her lips curl and it doesn’t take long for her to burst into a fit of laughter. like– genuine laughter, and it almost angers you. she’s too busy cracking herself up to realize that you’re being completely and utterly serious. 

and when she finally does notice, there’s another pause. 

“no.”

yeah, well, you did expect that. you thought that she’d might want to elaborate on her answer a little more, but that would mean that you were an idiot and someone cloned your girlfriend. 

when it came to her ‘business,’ she never really explained much. everything was an errands or just something to be taken care of, and every bruise was a situation that was handled accordingly. you’ve learned not to ask and definitely not to tell under any circumstances, so for your sake, all of it hardly exists after it happens. 

you shift positions again, blinking quietly. “baby, why won’t you let me explain–”

“you’re not getting involved in that. no.” the black-haired girl repeats, much sharper this time. and of course, she doesn’t explain her answer.

a frown finds you, and you adjust your seating again, persistent as your arms cross around your chest. “why not? i see it everyday, it’s not much different. either way i’m still here and involved.”

“that’s not the same.”

“how?”

you hear billie exhale through her nose, visibly annoyed now, as if it’s obvious as to why she’s saying no with no sort of reasoning to back it. 

“because i said so.”

you scoff. like that’s a better answer. you wish you had never asked at this point, because you already knew what she would’ve said before it even became a conversation. but you were also adamant on the subject– you’re around the business all day every day. maybe not directly, but you’ve seen billie and brayden do enough of their dirty work to know that it’s one, not something to mess with, and two– something that you have to be all in for. there’s no one foot in, one foot out bullshit with drugs. either you’re dealin’ and you’re one receiving it, or you’re not. 

“that’s not an answer, billie.” you finally speak up, and you know it’ll annoy her a little, but you don’t care. you needed an answer here, and one way or another, you were going to get one. 

“it is when it’s with me, y/n. i have reasons, and the answer for them is no.”

you roll your eyes, though she’s already turned her back to continue what she was doing. “so what? i’m supposed to be your pretty down-ass chick while you risk your life everyday doing this bullshit? i’m your girlfriend, in case you forgot. which means they’d come for my ass anyways if you pull some fuck shit.”

there’s an interlude of quiet, of course. she always thinks before she speaks to you because if she didn’t, she’d probably crash out on you. but this pause isn’t as long as the last one, and when she slouches in her chair and continues actively counting her money, you know whatever she says will end this conversation. 

“i’m not having this conversation with you. this is my shit, so stay out of it. i told you no, and that’s the end of the conversation.”

your jaw drops, mainly to avoid snapping at billie because that would only end badly for you, not for her. you had so much to say and yet nothing came out, and that was probably for the better because by the way billie turned around and walked out of her bedroom with a slammed door that followed, it was clear she wasn’t negotiating.

and she didn’t really have to. when you heard her talking to brayden in the living room and the tv blasting some show, you knew she wasn’t going to came back in for a while. you quickly slipped off of billie’s bed and made your way to her desk where her second phone laid, vulnerable and unlocked. with shaky hands, you clicked her messages app and found brayden’s. 

bingo. 

dealing to alyssa at one seemed easy. serving a girl was less of a threat and by the looks of the other messages you dissected, she lived in a nicer neighborhood, was 18, and played soccer. no way she’d do anything to you, she’s got too much to lose. 

you pulled out your own phone and took some quick pictures before turning billie’s off, shoving yours in your pocket, immediately throwing yourself underneath your girlfriend’s sheets and letting your eyes bore into the wall. 

truth be told, you were anxious. you didn’t think it would be too dangerous, but you’ve only received drugs, and the most you’ve ever dealt to someone was rolling your best friend’s joint for her in the comfort of her own home with the weed you bought her. this was a whole new playing field, and you were both nervous and a little too excited about the whole thing. 

if something did go wrong, billie would kill you thirty times over and probably bring you back to life just to kill you again. but also, if something went right, or at least on schedule, she would still be pissed. either way she would be mad, which was the ointment to ease your guilty conscience. what difference did it make if she wasn’t going to be happy about it either way? 

after half an hour of motionless lounging in billie’s bed, your head turns when you hear the door creek, and it’s her. her sleeves are up and you can smell pasta sauce on her jacket from where she’s standing, which makes you perk up. 

“i made dinner, baby.” she gives you a weak smile, “i’m sorry about earlier, i hate being an ass but i’m serious on this shit. don’t make any stupid decisions, okay? it’s just because—“ 

you wait for her to finish. 

“i care about you.”

you let yourself take pride in a shit-eating grin. you fully sit up, letting your back fall against the headboard.

it’s twelve-twenty one, and you feel like you’re about to shit your pants. 

you’ve got everything you need, at least what you could come up with to the best of your abilities. of course, the weed. it’s in a bag rolled up in your purse underneath your wallet, resting right next to the pepper spray that was still in it’s packaging from your walmart run last night. 

the lie you told billie this morning was that you were going to get your nails done around one, which was half-true. you did want to get them done, right after you sealed the deal with alyssa. you had also finessed your way into getting billie to think she canceled, which was unbelievably harder than you thought— but it was nothing like a few fake messages couldn’t handle. 

you finally get up from your spot on the couch, and thank goodness the house is still. no one’s awake yet, brayden and billie are in their own rooms, and you made sure to park your car behind billie’s so you could quickly leave without her having to get up to move her own. 

you took in the deepest breath you could, held it in until your chest ached, and with an exhale, your keys found themselves in your palms and you sped out of your driveway with quickness. 

unfortunately, music wasn’t enough to calm you down. your purse was open and the contraband was now exposed, and you couldn’t stop staring down at it. you live in california and it’s just a little bit of weed— what could really go wrong here? 

well, ‘alyssa’ could be a code name for ‘super big mafia boss’ who could take your ass out with one swipe to your face. or, you she could jack you and make you lose profit, and billie would really be pissed if you accidentally gave her shit out for free. as much as you’ve had to pay her back in some way, you know she doesn’t play about her cash. 

your gpa takes you into a neighborhood that looks way too nice for your comfort. there’s literal mini-mansions on every corner that your tires turn on, and when you pull up next to alyssa’s, you’re stunned out of your mind. 

it’s got to be at least three stories from what you can tell, and through the windows, it looks like their furniture cost more than any money you’ve ever made in your life. 

you step out and grab your bag, slamming the door shut and flicking your wrist to look at the time. it’s 12:59, and when you look up again, she’s standing right in front of you. 

she looks harmless. 

she kind of looks like she doesn’t have any business doing business like this. kind of like you. 

“billie sent you?” are the first words out of her mouth. 

you look away. you look back at her, and her face is contorted in a way that tells you she’s just waiting to get her shit and go back inside. 

understood. 

“yeah.” you reply, and she immediately eases up. 

“okay, cool,” she gives you a smile, “i was like…i don’t recognize the car. thought you were a murderer or something.” 

you force out a small laugh. half of you wants to back out, but you’ve got something to prove now— that you can do this. you’re already here and it would be much more embarrassing for you to turn around and act like you weren’t pretending to be a drug dealer. 

your hands feel shaky as you reach into your bag, pulling out what you grabbed out of billie’s stash earlier. you try to copy her— the way she moves, the way she doesn’t second guess, her quickness and ease when she’s doing her deals. 

but you’re not billie.

your fingers fumble slightly, and of course, the girl notices.

“you good?” she asks, tilting her head.

“yeah, i’m fine, i’m just…cold.” 

right. you’re cold on a april afternoon in california, because that makes total sense. 

alyssa knows that it doesn’t, and she cocks a brow at you but doesn’t utter a word. you move with a newfound quickness, and shoo the brunette back into her house so that you can turn around and get in the car before you throw up in her freshly-cut bushes. 

you drive off and let siri guide you to the nail shop. you almost made the rash decision to cancel, but coming home way too quick with nail beds that still looked like war zones would throw you off of your lie. so, you let your thoughts roam in hopes that the guilty feelings will subside by the time you walk in the salon. 

you’re pulling into the parking lot when a weird smile crawls onto your lips. you think you did good. it was quick and easy, money for product, one and done. something to rub in billie’s face— that you really could do something she said you couldn’t. 

“that…wasn’t even that bad.” you whisper only to yourself, feeling almost proud that you did that. 

however, that feeling only lasts for less than a couple hours. 

you’re on the way home when an unknown number texts you. 

xxx-xxx-xxxx u with billie? 

your heart literally drops to your ass. suddenly the speed limit is no longer a suggestion, but an overestimation. you’re going ten under just to respond, and you erase and retype at least five messages before finally sending one, playing dumb. 

no…why…?

xxx-xxx-xxxx it’s brayden btw  alyssa texted her 

now you really have to play dumb. and the easiest way to do that is pretend you didn’t see the message. and that works for maybe five minutes, when you’re just making the turn into billie’s neighborhood— another one pops up on your screen. 

the girl u sold to is alyssa btw 

well, fuck. 

you don’t even have time to get out of the car when you pull into the driveway. billie’s already walking to your driver’s side, and you feel yourself shrivel up. there was literally nothing you could do about this except hope that she wasn’t going to literally break your window in out of anger. 

through your tinted lenses, all you hear is your girlfriend demanding you get out of the car and ‘bring your ass inside’, which, obviously wasn’t with the loving connotation that she missed you. 

you don’t remember getting out of the car, what billie said to you on the way in, or how you made it to her living room where brayden was pretending to act like neither of you two were there. you blink, and billie’s standing in front of you, still as a bag of rocks, and that scared you. 

her tone is flat and simple. “what did you do?” 

“nothing…?” lie. a bad one at that. 

“wrong answer.”

you swallow thickly, trying to come up with literally anything to rebuttal with. you’re in deep shit and you know that, but as much as you wished in your head that you could pretend this never happened, it did. and after billie told you no? yeah, you were gonna pay for that. 

“it was just one—“

“you went behind my back.” 

you try and steady yourself. “okay, yes…but it wasn’t some big thing! it was one deal—“ 

“right. one i didn’t send you on. i didn’t even tell you about that shit, so how did you find out?” 

you weren’t prepared for her to ask that. you couldn’t lie now, after betraying her once, you’d probably get a beating and a breakup at the same time. 

“your phone…?”

billie’s jaw immediately tightens and if you weren’t in your right mind, you’d think she’d swing on you right now. her fists ball and then quickly release, and she breathes in heavily before looking you dead in the eyes, “go to my room.” 

you go dead in the eyes. there’s no time to think or talk or do anything except put one foot in front of the other until you’re back in the same situation you were sixty days ago, standing with your back against the wall and a heart that’s refusing to regulate itself. billie slams the door with a force that you’ve never seen her have, and you’re already fumbling trying to come up with something to say. 

she cuts off your thoughts like she could hear them. “you went through my fucking phone?” 

“is that rhetorical? because i feel like i already told you that.”

you close your eyes as soon as the words fall from your lips. with the amount of shit that’s coming from your mouth, your ass might as well talk for you. 

billie’s on you like white on rice, her body pressed right against yours and you’re so close that your noses almost touch. her hands find themselves on your arms and they’re not tight at all, but you can feel them. 

“i love you. i really do, but you’re pissing me the fuck off. just answer the question, y/n, and stop being difficult. did you go through my phone?” 

your hands come up to push the black-haired girl off of you, not hard, but just enough to show her that you’re not messing with her. you’re clearly irritated now— after being around the entire ordeal this entire time, she just wants you to act like you’re her little trophy that just sits next to her while she risks her life? yeah, fuck that. 

“the hell is your problem?” you immediately snap back, and billie just stares at you, almost confused. this entire time, you’ve kept your innermost feelings to yourself. about billie doubting you, not trusting you— you never expressed that to her. but now? you couldn’t contain it any longer. 

“hold on… what’s my problem?” she repeats slowly, “you went through my phone, first of all—“

“i don’t care.” you immediately cut her off. 

it’s silent. 

“you don’t get to decide everything for me,” you say, your voice sharper now. “i’m not your fucking trophy wife that you get to show everyone and then go get yourself in trouble doing whatever the hell this is.i’m not an idiot and i’m not a child, so stop treating me like one.”

billie exhales through her nose, clearly already annoyed but trying to find her composure. 

“you think this is me treating you like a kid?” she snaps back, almost half a second after you, stepping closer. “you went behind my back after i told you no. that’s not being grown, that’s being reckless as—”

“oh my god, there it is again,” you roll your eyes and laugh bitterly, but there’s no humor to shadow it. “you don’t trust me. just say it! just fucking say you don’t trust me instead of acting like i’m the problem every time i open my mouth.”

“i do trust you, babe.” she fires back immediately.

“no you don’t,” you say, voice cracking now but you don’t stop. you’re going off, pointing your finger and waving your hands around, tears welling in the underskirts of your eyes, but you don’t care. “because if you did, you wouldn’t control every single thing i try to do. you don’t want a girlfriend, billie— you want someone who just sits there and listens to whatever the fuck you say and roll with it.” 

there’s silence for a split second before billie immediately claps back. “hold on…you really think this is about you being some kind of equal partner in my shit?”

you bat your eyes at her, “what the fuck are you even talking about?” 

“i thought you had to be joking,” billie dryly laughs, “you actually wanted to like…do this? you did one deal and now you think you’re the shit.” 

something in your chest literally twists. 

“don’t talk to me like that.” you warn, but she’s already started. 

“wanna know what alyssa texted me?” billie continues, almost shrugging, “she told me you were shaking trying to do the deal. it’s just fucking weed, y/n— and if you can’t do that with some harmless teenage girl, what on God’s green earth makes you think you can handle—“ 

you interrupt her. “you really think i’m that useless?” 

“i think you’re delusional.”

yeah, you had enough. your anger has come in waves, but right now you’re so mad that you don’t have time to think. in one swift motion, your hand comes up fast and you slap her.

the sound cracks through the room.

everything goes dead silent. billie immediately looks down, her fingers framing her face from the impact. 

the silence in the room was so heavy it felt physical, like it had snuck it’s way through your ears and into your chest, which was beating so hard you felt like it could’ve jumped out of your body. your palm was stinging and what got you was the fact that you couldn't see her face. her black hair shielded her expression and she wasn’t moving, hell– you didn’t even know if she was breathing.

“i–” you start, yet nothing but a screech comes out. you don’t even know what you were going to say, but whatever you thought you could come up with– it wouldn’t have been good enough. yes, billie pissed you off, and in your eyes, your emotions were valid. however, what wasn’t valid was you slapping your girlfriend in the face. 

after what felt like hours, you watched billie look up at you, her thumb still brushing the spot where you hit her. you expect her to be crying, for her face to be red-hot with anger, but instead, she’s…smiling?

the grin on her face is so surreal that you nearly want to pull your phone out and take a picture, just to make sure you’re not tripping. you hit your own girlfriend and she’s happy about it? 

billie’s pupils are huge and dark, enamored with something that you can’t put your finger on. her eyes study you for a second, and then she’s all over you again, though it’s different from the last time. you aren’t arguing, you aren’t fighting, and her movements are way more deliberate and in control. 

her hand comes up to grip your jaw– not rough enough to hurt, but firm enough to where you know better than to try and move. 

“you’ve got a lot to say today,” she murmurs, eyes flickering all over your face as you just watch her, not even attempting to interrupt her. “all that attitude, all that fucking mouth on you…where did all that come from, hm?”

“you were being mean, billie.” you murmur slowly, so contrast from your actions literally minutes ago. billie’s lips twitch slightly. 

“yeah?” she asks you, leaning into you, “and you thought hitting me was gonna fix that?”

there’s not enough time to answer. her fingers hook underneath the hem of your shirt, and in one swift motion, it’s off of your body and collapses onto the floor like a piece of trash. you feel her lips find your neck, and with every rough, sloppy kiss, a mark is left behind. your back arches off of the wall and a quiet moan passes through your lips as billie aggressively kisses down your body. 

“you get on my nerves so fucking bad.” she breathes, though her lips don’t stop. she’s at your stomach now, her teeth grazing the skin teasingly when she reaches your jeans. 

billie’s on her knees, her chin tucked between your legs when she looks up at you from the floor, and you feel like you could faint right then and there. you breath hitches when she unbuckles your belt, pulling it through the loops and discarding it to the ground, and your pants follow in the same fashion. 

“get on the bed. face down. put your hands behind your back.”

it’s not a suggestion or a question, but a command that isn’t to be strayed from. you obey as soon as she stands up, walking quickly over to her bed and letting yourself fall into the covers. 

the shift in billie’s energy was tectonic. you watched her from a few feet away as she walked over, and you could tell in her face that you were in for a rude awakening. 

ever since you forgot your money for your deals the last time, your sex with billie was sweet. she never rushed you, never pushed you, and always did what you wanted. she was so unlike her regular self, lacking that stoic and firm energy that she always carried wherever she went. but now, it seemed like all of that had faded. 

billie was angry. at you, at the situation, hell– any other pent up anger she had was going to find it’s way to present itself onto whatever she was going to inflict on you. and although it made you slightly nervous, the slickness that was growing in between your legs was undeniable. you had never seen her so aggressive with you in this way. 

“sit up.” she calls from just a few feet away, and you do almost instantly. you feel shy, the comforter hiding your nearly exposed body when billie finally walks over to you, clearly pissed. her jaw is tense and her eyes are fiery when her eyes meet yours. she climbs onto the bed quickly and pulls you up by your wrists, flipping your body to where your face falls into one of her pillows. 

“you don’t fucking listen, that’s your issue.” billie seethes, and you feel her fingers dip into the waistband of your panties. she doesn’t ask, she just hooked her thumbs into the lace and pushed them down, the fabric circling around your ankles. and you don’t protest. 

“i’m tired of hearing your smart mouth. of hearing you whine and complain about everything– so maybe this'll knock some sense into you.” 

it’s so still in the room that you can hear the air propel backwards when billie draws her hand back. you audibly whine before it even comes in contact with your skin, your body literally shaking with nervousness.

slap! 

the first strike of her palm across your ass was a white-hot flash that made your eyes fall spotty. you winced, your back arching as another whimper, louder this time, sounded from your throat. you want to speak but you know that it’ll do little to nothing to get you out of this situation, so you close your eyes as you feel billie’s hand rub your lower back and the curvature of your backside, and the soothing touch was almost mocking. 

slap! slap! slap!

she didn’t stop. the spanking was rhythmic, and horrendously precise. your skin was burning with such a searing heat that made you feel like you were on fire. you were wailing into the pillow now, tears starting to fill your eyes as your voice morphed into high-pitched, pathetic whines as your ‘lesson’ stretched on. 

“i’m sorry billie,” you finally cough out, “i-i am…m’so sorry…”

that doesn’t get you where you think it will. in fact, something in billie snaps. she’s tired of it. tired of hearing your excuses and whines, acting like you’re apologetic when in reality, you weren’t. you were just annoyed at the fact that after everything that just happened, you’re back underneath her, just like you were from the start. 

billie finally flips you to where you’re underneath her, and her fingers fasten against your jaw again– except she’s firmer now, her grip tight. “you’re sorry, princess? oh, i bet you are—“ billie laughs to herself, her grip still firm on your jaw. “bet you’re gonna tell me again and again how you fucked up, how you’re never gonna do it again, blah blah blah. well can i tell you something? i honestly don’t wanna hear that shit.” 

she reaches for the nightstand next to you, and you heard the sound of her unzipping her jeans, the rustling of fabrics, and the tightening of the harness. you’re too scared to even look at her, so you turn around and face the mirror that stands in front of her bed, your head pushed into the mattress as you wait for her. 

you felt billie’s hands settle on your waist, and within seconds, you feel the first thrust, a slow, agonizing stretch as she began to fully fill you up. your pussy was warm and inviting, your arousal coating the thick strap fully as billie slowed fucked into you, your back immediately arching and your eyes fluttering closed. 

she doesn’t give you any more time than that to adjust. you feel her hand snake around your back and onto your throat as she fucks into you with an angry speed, and your body immediately goes limp. the air you attempt to breathe catches itself in your throat when you feel billie’s grip tighten, her nails digging into the flesh of your thighs, and she has absolutely no regard for the pain she’s causing you. 

“look at yourself.” she orders, her fingers detaching from your neck to push your head up, and your eyes focus on your trembling body through the mirror in front of you. you look worn, and it’s pathetic, really– skin hot and furious, tear marks still visible on your cheeks, your hair a complete mess. your fractured visage makes billie smile.

“you wanna be a big girl so fuckin’ bad, hm? you wanna go out and be all sneaky behind my back, and can’t even keep that same energy in front of my face. funny how that works, huh, princess?”

the way she’s fucking you is mean now. it’s sloppy but strong, one of her legs hiked up to hit your cervix at such an angle that makes your eyes well up again. you feel weak, your head dropping as little hiccups and whimpers fall from your swollen lips. 

“m’sorry, mommy, i-i’m so sorry!” you cry out, though you instantly regret it. you watch billie’s hand come up through the mirror, connecting with your ass once again, and it brings all the pain from earlier to the surface. you frown and pull your head down, “billie…s-stop, you’re being mean!”

“you want me to stop?” she asks you mockingly, her thrusts consistent and still equally as immobilizing. “say the word then, princess.”

you don’t speak. 

billie smacks her lips. 

“mhm,” she drags, “that’s what i fuckin’ thought.” 

you let out a dragged moan, billie’s fingers reaching around to toy at your clit, and that’s when you break. your legs shake as you feel yourself start to unravel. the friction of the silicone against your g-spot paired with the rhythmic snapping of billie’s fingers on your clit— it’s all too much. your vision blurs, your reflection in the mirror now just a blob through tears and your flushed sight. 

“i’m— fuck, i’m close, bils!” you cry out, and billie grabs your chin to make your vision focus. 

she knows exactly where you are. she slows down just enough to make you whine, a high-pitched and needy sound that makes her laugh in amusement. 

"beg for it," she whispers, leaning down so her lips are right against your ear, her teeth grazing the lobe. "tell me you’re my girl and you’re never gonna pull that shit again."

"i’m yours," you sob, the confession ripped from your throat as your walls start to pulse around the strap, "i’m yours, billie. i won't— i promise, i won't ever—"

"good girl. look at me while you do it, baby. look at who you belong to while you fall apart.” 

your eyelashes beat against your cheeks as your pussy clenches around billie’s strap, your orgasm hitting you like a freight train. you collapse into the sheets, your skin tingling and your body shaking as your chest heaves. 

after a few more torturingly slow thrusts, billie pulls out of you gently, resting on her back while you stiffenly catch your breath. you’re tired, but not too tired to realize something. 

she won this round, but the sting on your skin is doing something different to your head. you’re fueled, and not by the fact you just got put in your place, but by the fact that you still have a sliver of the same way you felt before. you’re still high on the rush from the slap earlier, the way billie’s eyes blew out when she realized what you had done, and the way you made her feel when she noticed that you weren’t as submissive as she thought. 

“billie?” you whisper, a newfound strength pulling you to sit up and slither next to her legs. 

“mhm?” she hums, hardly even opening her eyes. she reaches out, her hand finding your waist to pull you closer, “go to sleep, m’tired.” 

you don’t go to sleep. instead, you straddle her, your fingers coming up to cradle that reddened spot on her cheek that’s still agitated from where you struck her. 

all of a sudden she isn’t tired.

billie’s eyes flutter open, “what are you doing?”

“you said i couldn’t handle you.” you state, and you don’t give her a chance to respond. your head dips and your lips graze hers, and when she leans in to kiss you, you pull away. 

you hear a quiet whine. it’s so soft that it almost doesn’t register, but when you hear it, you’re elated. billie looks up from underneath you with soft, wide blue eyes, and her newfound submission makes you grow wet. 

“here’s what’s gonna happen,” you start, "since you think i’m such a 'princess' that needs to be put in her place, you’re going to do exactly what i say. don’t talk back.” 

billie’s jaw drops ever so slightly, almost like she wants to say something, but nothing comes out. she looks up at you and the predatory glint in her eyes from just a couple minutes ago has completely vanished, replaced by such a newfound vulnerability that makes your skin hot. she’s still wearing the harness, the weight of her strap resting between her thighs. 

“sit up.” you command and she obeys, her back pressed against the headboard as you grab her shoulders and sink onto the strap. the familiar fullness makes you gasp as you rest fully on the length, and billie doesn’t know what to do with herself. 

“now, fuck me. do it slow. and if i feel you speed up, we’re done. you hear me?” 

“yes ma’am.” billie rasps, her jaw tight as she fights the instinct to hammer into you. she pulls her hips back and thrusts once upwards, slow, and her eyes dart to yours for approval. when a moan passes through your lips, she continues, her hands finding your ass to rest her hand on. 

with the way your skin collides with billie’s, the friction bumps against her clit just enough to make her head hazy. you hear little whimpers fill the air as you ride her, slowly, so slow that it’s almost killing her. 

you lean down to find that sensitive spot on her neck, suckling at the skin so hard that you know it’ll bruise, but that was your motive. you wanted everyone to see it— to see that the nonconfrontational girl she claimed you to be could call the shots too.

you’re mean with it. teeth digging into her flesh, right over all her pulse points that you have memorized like the back of your hand. when you feel billie’s rhythm begin to falter, you immediately stop, grabbing her face and forcing her to look at you. 

“is there a problem?” you ask her, and she shakes her head no fervently. she looks absolutely wrecked, tortured by greed and unsatisfied with the limited ways she’s allowed to touch you. 

you don't say another word. instead, you reach back and grab the base of the strap, guiding yourself as you slowly, agonizingly sink back down onto the silicone. billie lets out a long, broken moan when you slightly speed up, her hips naturally following your lead. 

“just like this.” you order her and she wastes no time adhering to your request. 

"god, baby," billie hitches, her hands twitching on the mattress, desperate to please you but paralyzed by your earlier order. "you're so tight... fuck."

billie lets out a sob-like sound, her pride completely disintegrated. she leans up, her teeth grazing your collarbone, her movements clumsy and desperate as she tries to follow your every command while her own body betrays her. as much as she wants to flip you over and have her way with you, she’s entranced— completely under your control. 

"you’re such a good girl when you actually listen." you whisper in her ear with a chuckle, and you feel the way she unravels beneath you.

"i’ll do anything!" she chokes out, her voice a mere whisper, her face blooming with the heat. "anything you want, please, just don't stop. i need you."

billie looks down at you and lets out a low, guttural moan. the way your pussy swallows the silicone, your slick coating the dildo— her head goes fuzzy, her head falling onto the headboard as she tries to focus on her pacing, but it’s too much. she’s close and you can tell, the pressure from your body creating just enough friction that could tip her over the edge. 

but she needs more. 

it’s subtle, but you still notice. her speed changes and her rhythm alters, her hands roaming all over you in hopes that you’re too caught up in the moment to say anything. 

“what did i say?” you call out firmly and billie whimpers, her head rolling to look at you. “did i say you could speed up?” 

“m’sorry mommy.” billie stammers from underneath you, her eyes frantic and wide. the frustration is written all over her— eyebrows furrowed, her lips parted and swollen. she’s shaking with an effort to stay still, her clit pulsing against the harness in desperation. “i just—“

“you’re not listening.” your voice drops into a disappointed simmer, and you watch as billie’s lashes grow wet. you sit up straighter, the strap pulled against your cervix, and your girlfriend lets out a slow moan at your movements. you’re opening your mouth to say something when billie whispers out, 

“hit me.”

you pause, but she says it again, louder this time. for you to hit her, to put her in her place, to be just as assertive as you were hours ago. her eyes are swimming with vulnerability and such need that it’s impossible for you to say no. 

you don’t make her ask twice. you pull your hand back and watch as it collides with her cheek, and the whimper that billie lets out makes your cunt flutter against her strap. 

“again, mommy.” she breathes, and you oblige. you strike her again, this time on the other side, and then one more for good measure. you watch the way the red marks blossom on billie’s skin, her hips twitching uncontrollably as she tries to keep the slow, agonizing pace you set.

"what happened to the big and bad billie i thought you were, sweetheart? hm?” you hum, and you can tell that this pacing is absolutely torture to billie. her hips are steady and slow, just like you had asked, and while the feeling is pleasurable for both of you, it’s not enough. 

“i need you,” billie breathes out, hands stuck firmly on your waist, “please, m’sorry…for being so mean, for not trusting you— just, baby— i-i’m so close…”

by the way her lips are parted and swollen and how her thrusts into you become more rigid, you know how bad she needs this. you grab billie’s shoulders and fuck yourself further onto her strap, that familiar coil twisting in your stomach as you moan, your head dropping into the crook of billie’s neck. 

“i’m cumming baby—! fuck, don’t stop, just like that.” you drag on. within a few steady thrusts, you cum all over billie’s strap, hard, your walls hugging the silicone material as you slowly ride out your high. 

billie expects you to curl up underneath the covers and fall asleep next to her, but that isn’t the case. you slowly inch off of the length of the faux cock and unbuckle the harness, sliding it down billie’s thighs until it’s nothing but irrelevant. 

you straddle her again, popping two fingers in your mouth and looking dead into her eyes as you do so. you line the tips of your digits up with her sopping cunt before pushing them in slowly, her slick walls warm and inviting as you curl your fingers upwards, moving them in and out at a medium pace, and billie’s eyes immediately roll back. 

the sounds that leave her throat aren’t human. they’re wrecked, high pitched whimpers that rip through her entire chest as you hook your fingers deep inside her, your movements never faltering. 

“look at me, baby,” you order her and she does, her black hair fanned out across the pillow, her face all red from being victim to your authority. she’s shaking as you intensify your pacing, your thumb finding her clit and rubbing sloppy, tight circles on it. 

“you’re gonna listen to me next time, isn’t that right? because i think we both know the truth, B. you like this, don't you?" you whisper, leaning down until your nose brushes hers. "you like that i’m the one making you feel like this after you tried to break me earlier. you like being handled."

all billie can do is nod, her mouth too busy moaning out curses and strings of your name. her back arches so far off of the bed you’re convinced she’ll snap, her fingers digging into the sheets as her legs shake and twitch underneath your touch. 

“fuck, i-i’m close, mommy— can i cum? please? i’ve been so good, please let me.” 

you learn forward to kiss her crimson, bruised cheeks, her mouth falling near her ear with a whisper, “let go for me baby, i’m right here.”

that’s all the permission she needs. billie’s entire body goes rigid, her pussy spasming around your fingers so hard that it nearly hurts. she lets out a long, shattered scream as her orgasm hits her, her head falling and her breathing completely derailed from the intensity of it. 

you help her ride out her high, your movements slowed and steady until it becomes too much for her. in multiple eased movements, you pull your dingers out of billie’s pussy, a whine escaping her lips from the loss. 

“open.” you order her as she obeys, her jaw falling slack as you place your two digits on her tongue. her mouth closes as she licks your fingers clean and hums, her eyes never leaving yours as she tastes herself on your skin. 

"was I clear?" you whisper, your voice smooth and completely rid of the shakiness from earlier. "about the business? about the us?”

you scan billie’s face, and there isn’t a single remnant of anything like before. her face is gentle and easy, a stupid, uneraseable grin on her face as she nods slowly, 

“crystal clear, ma’am.”