Kimberly Naiche @biggreenbeakers - Tumblr Blog

Hello! You are quite mean to me sometimes and I ask quite mean to you sometimes but I am or the opinion that everyone needs a checker-inner and someone to help them out, so how are you doing?

I'm feeling pretty okay today. The birds keep watching me through my window. I am 99% sure they want to take Arav away from me.

The only thing the birds want to take from you is your shiny things. They are not mentally capable of desiring to take a person. I will once again recommend a refill on your medications. You should throw out the current ones while you are at it. They are dangerous.

How many times do I have to tell you I'm not crazy? I don't need medication, they just want me doped up enough so they can take him from me!

It will be ok. I promise. I have never lied to you. I don't think I have, anyway. I would not lie to you about this.

The last time you told me everything would be okay, I saw my skin melting off in the mirror.

That was my father's fault. Not mine. I thought he was going to tell you to get a refill, not take expired medicine.

.

Fine. I will go to my 'psychiatrist' and get a 'refill' on my 'medication'

But Arav has to prove to me that he won't allow himself to be taken. He has to give me a kiss.

... I do not like this... you should not bribe people into things.

It's not bribing. I need to know that he won't leave. It's the only way I will take them.

Why do you think the government wants my father anyway?

Because they wanted to take Randy.0

My father is his own person.

Right. Right.

He just

looks like him, he acts like him, the only difference is well

you.

He is his own man with his own identity. You need to respect that fact.

Sometimes I forget they're different people. Sometimes I look at him and see Randy staring at me.

Ok? But you need to understand that they AREN'T.

You don't know what you're talking about. Leave me alone.

I'm just trying to help. I just want everyone to be happy.

I've already said what I need to make your want happen.

Hello! You are quite mean to me sometimes and I ask quite mean to you sometimes but I am or the opinion that everyone needs a checker-inner and someone to help them out, so how are you doing?

I'm feeling pretty okay today. The birds keep watching me through my window. I am 99% sure they want to take Arav away from me.

The only thing the birds want to take from you is your shiny things. They are not mentally capable of desiring to take a person. I will once again recommend a refill on your medications. You should throw out the current ones while you are at it. They are dangerous.

How many times do I have to tell you I'm not crazy? I don't need medication, they just want me doped up enough so they can take him from me!

It will be ok. I promise. I have never lied to you. I don't think I have, anyway. I would not lie to you about this.

The last time you told me everything would be okay, I saw my skin melting off in the mirror.

That was my father's fault. Not mine. I thought he was going to tell you to get a refill, not take expired medicine.

.

Fine. I will go to my 'psychiatrist' and get a 'refill' on my 'medication'

But Arav has to prove to me that he won't allow himself to be taken. He has to give me a kiss.

... I do not like this... you should not bribe people into things.

It's not bribing. I need to know that he won't leave. It's the only way I will take them.

Why do you think the government wants my father anyway?

Because they wanted to take Randy.0

My father is his own person.

Right. Right.

He just

looks like him, he acts like him, the only difference is well

you.

He is his own man with his own identity. You need to respect that fact.

Sometimes I forget they're different people. Sometimes I look at him and see Randy staring at me.

Ok? But you need to understand that they AREN'T.

You don't know what you're talking about. Leave me alone.

•18+ Adults Only

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Hello! You are quite mean to me sometimes and I ask quite mean to you sometimes but I am or the opinion that everyone needs a checker-inner and someone to help them out, so how are you doing?

I'm feeling pretty okay today. The birds keep watching me through my window. I am 99% sure they want to take Arav away from me.

The only thing the birds want to take from you is your shiny things. They are not mentally capable of desiring to take a person. I will once again recommend a refill on your medications. You should throw out the current ones while you are at it. They are dangerous.

How many times do I have to tell you I'm not crazy? I don't need medication, they just want me doped up enough so they can take him from me!

It will be ok. I promise. I have never lied to you. I don't think I have, anyway. I would not lie to you about this.

The last time you told me everything would be okay, I saw my skin melting off in the mirror.

That was my father's fault. Not mine. I thought he was going to tell you to get a refill, not take expired medicine.

.

Fine. I will go to my 'psychiatrist' and get a 'refill' on my 'medication'

But Arav has to prove to me that he won't allow himself to be taken. He has to give me a kiss.

... I do not like this... you should not bribe people into things.

It's not bribing. I need to know that he won't leave. It's the only way I will take them.

Why do you think the government wants my father anyway?

Because they wanted to take Randy.0

My father is his own person.

Right. Right.

He just

looks like him, he acts like him, the only difference is well

you.

He is his own man with his own identity. You need to respect that fact.

Sometimes I forget they're different people. Sometimes I look at him and see Randy staring at me.

Hello! You are quite mean to me sometimes and I ask quite mean to you sometimes but I am or the opinion that everyone needs a checker-inner and someone to help them out, so how are you doing?

I'm feeling pretty okay today. The birds keep watching me through my window. I am 99% sure they want to take Arav away from me.

The only thing the birds want to take from you is your shiny things. They are not mentally capable of desiring to take a person. I will once again recommend a refill on your medications. You should throw out the current ones while you are at it. They are dangerous.

How many times do I have to tell you I'm not crazy? I don't need medication, they just want me doped up enough so they can take him from me!

It will be ok. I promise. I have never lied to you. I don't think I have, anyway. I would not lie to you about this.

The last time you told me everything would be okay, I saw my skin melting off in the mirror.

That was my father's fault. Not mine. I thought he was going to tell you to get a refill, not take expired medicine.

.

Fine. I will go to my 'psychiatrist' and get a 'refill' on my 'medication'

But Arav has to prove to me that he won't allow himself to be taken. He has to give me a kiss.

... I do not like this... you should not bribe people into things.

It's not bribing. I need to know that he won't leave. It's the only way I will take them.

Why do you think the government wants my father anyway?

Because they wanted to take Randy.0

My father is his own person.

Right. Right.

He just

looks like him, he acts like him, the only difference is well

you.

Hello! You are quite mean to me sometimes and I ask quite mean to you sometimes but I am or the opinion that everyone needs a checker-inner and someone to help them out, so how are you doing?

I'm feeling pretty okay today. The birds keep watching me through my window. I am 99% sure they want to take Arav away from me.

The only thing the birds want to take from you is your shiny things. They are not mentally capable of desiring to take a person. I will once again recommend a refill on your medications. You should throw out the current ones while you are at it. They are dangerous.

How many times do I have to tell you I'm not crazy? I don't need medication, they just want me doped up enough so they can take him from me!

It will be ok. I promise. I have never lied to you. I don't think I have, anyway. I would not lie to you about this.

The last time you told me everything would be okay, I saw my skin melting off in the mirror.

That was my father's fault. Not mine. I thought he was going to tell you to get a refill, not take expired medicine.

.

Fine. I will go to my 'psychiatrist' and get a 'refill' on my 'medication'

But Arav has to prove to me that he won't allow himself to be taken. He has to give me a kiss.

... I do not like this... you should not bribe people into things.

It's not bribing. I need to know that he won't leave. It's the only way I will take them.

Why do you think the government wants my father anyway?

Because they wanted to take Randy.0

Hello! You are quite mean to me sometimes and I ask quite mean to you sometimes but I am or the opinion that everyone needs a checker-inner and someone to help them out, so how are you doing?

I'm feeling pretty okay today. The birds keep watching me through my window. I am 99% sure they want to take Arav away from me.

The only thing the birds want to take from you is your shiny things. They are not mentally capable of desiring to take a person. I will once again recommend a refill on your medications. You should throw out the current ones while you are at it. They are dangerous.

How many times do I have to tell you I'm not crazy? I don't need medication, they just want me doped up enough so they can take him from me!

It will be ok. I promise. I have never lied to you. I don't think I have, anyway. I would not lie to you about this.

The last time you told me everything would be okay, I saw my skin melting off in the mirror.

That was my father's fault. Not mine. I thought he was going to tell you to get a refill, not take expired medicine.

.

Fine. I will go to my 'psychiatrist' and get a 'refill' on my 'medication'

But Arav has to prove to me that he won't allow himself to be taken. He has to give me a kiss.

... I do not like this... you should not bribe people into things.

It's not bribing. I need to know that he won't leave. It's the only way I will take them.

Hello! You are quite mean to me sometimes and I ask quite mean to you sometimes but I am or the opinion that everyone needs a checker-inner and someone to help them out, so how are you doing?

I'm feeling pretty okay today. The birds keep watching me through my window. I am 99% sure they want to take Arav away from me.

The only thing the birds want to take from you is your shiny things. They are not mentally capable of desiring to take a person. I will once again recommend a refill on your medications. You should throw out the current ones while you are at it. They are dangerous.

How many times do I have to tell you I'm not crazy? I don't need medication, they just want me doped up enough so they can take him from me!

It will be ok. I promise. I have never lied to you. I don't think I have, anyway. I would not lie to you about this.

The last time you told me everything would be okay, I saw my skin melting off in the mirror.

That was my father's fault. Not mine. I thought he was going to tell you to get a refill, not take expired medicine.

.

Fine. I will go to my 'psychiatrist' and get a 'refill' on my 'medication'

But Arav has to prove to me that he won't allow himself to be taken. He has to give me a kiss.

•18+ Adults Only

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Anya is LIVE right now

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Hello! You are quite mean to me sometimes and I ask quite mean to you sometimes but I am or the opinion that everyone needs a checker-inner and someone to help them out, so how are you doing?

I'm feeling pretty okay today. The birds keep watching me through my window. I am 99% sure they want to take Arav away from me.

The only thing the birds want to take from you is your shiny things. They are not mentally capable of desiring to take a person. I will once again recommend a refill on your medications. You should throw out the current ones while you are at it. They are dangerous.

How many times do I have to tell you I'm not crazy? I don't need medication, they just want me doped up enough so they can take him from me!

It will be ok. I promise. I have never lied to you. I don't think I have, anyway. I would not lie to you about this.

The last time you told me everything would be okay, I saw my skin melting off in the mirror.

Hello! You are quite mean to me sometimes and I ask quite mean to you sometimes but I am or the opinion that everyone needs a checker-inner and someone to help them out, so how are you doing?

I'm feeling pretty okay today. The birds keep watching me through my window. I am 99% sure they want to take Arav away from me.

have you considered that maybe the birds just want to say hi?

These are government controlled drones. I'm sure of it.

Hello! You are quite mean to me sometimes and I ask quite mean to you sometimes but I am or the opinion that everyone needs a checker-inner and someone to help them out, so how are you doing?

I'm feeling pretty okay today. The birds keep watching me through my window. I am 99% sure they want to take Arav away from me.

The only thing the birds want to take from you is your shiny things. They are not mentally capable of desiring to take a person. I will once again recommend a refill on your medications. You should throw out the current ones while you are at it. They are dangerous.

How many times do I have to tell you I'm not crazy? I don't need medication, they just want me doped up enough so they can take him from me!

Hello! You are quite mean to me sometimes and I ask quite mean to you sometimes but I am or the opinion that everyone needs a checker-inner and someone to help them out, so how are you doing?

I'm feeling pretty okay today. The birds keep watching me through my window. I am 99% sure they want to take Arav away from me.

Why won’t you let me make you feel better? Why won’t you let me comfort you? Why won’t you cry into me? I want to be someone you can confide in. I want to be someone you can trust. Do you not trust me? Am I not worthy of your sorrows? I will become better. I will do better. I will be someone you can trust. You never talk to me anymore. We never do anything anymore. Why do you always push me away? Did I do something wrong? I will do better. I will not do it again. I just want to lighten the weight. I just want you to talk to me. I just want to help you feel better. Why won’t you let me help you feel better?

There is no weight for you to lighten here, Benji. As your father, I'm supposed to be the one helping you. Yknow. You can tell me anything and I'll listen. I trust you, you're worthy of my sorrows and all that, it's just that I'm the adult here and I'm supposed to be the one taking care of you.

You don't need to change anything for me, kid. You're doing great. I just wish you could see that.

You could've told me that you wanted to do something sooner! What would you like to do? We can play board games or something like that! We can even invite Starshine if you'd like, but that's up to you.

I know there is weight. Everyone has weight. We are all carrying our own weight and it is up to the people we love to help lighten it.

No, you do not think I am worthy of your sorrows. If you thought I was worthy you would let me comfort you. You would confide in me. You would let me help you. It does not matter who is older I promise I am emotionally intelligent. You know as well as anyone that I am emotionally intelligent. You don't deserve to go through this alone. Let me be here for you.

If I had done nothing wrong then you would not have shut me out. Please tell me what I did so I can do better. I can not improve if you do not tell me what I did. You always lie to make me feel better.

All sons want to do things with their fathers. I felt like I did not have to explain because you would assume I wanted to spend time with you.

Benji, of course I know that you're worthy and emotionally intelligent, I just don't think you should have to worry about my problems. I'm trying to take care of you the best that I can, and I'm failing, so let me just stay silent on this and pretend nothing ever happened..please?

Sometimes people don't shut others out intentionally. Of course, since you're a purely logical being, you'd assume that there's a causation to everything- though, yeah, that's the first rule of logic. I don't blame you for thinking that you did something wrong. And even if you did, I would never just shut you out like that on purpose.

Huh. Well. Hm. I'll try to spend more time with you, okay?

I do not have to worry about your problems. I want to worry about your problems. Have you not been listening? You are a good father, I promise. It hurts me to see you like this. That's why I want to help you. I want to alleviate the hurt from both of us.

Then why? Why why why why WHY?

Thank you, father. I appreciate that.

I have been listening, I just- You don't need to help me, kid, ok? Just knowing that you're okay is enough.

Oh, I don't KNOW, Benji! Dear. I'm not trying to shut you out. We'll spend more time together, everything will be okay. Right?

You said you were listening but then said that word again. Need has nothing to do with it. I want to.

I'm sorry for snapping at you, I want to spend time with you. I want it all to be ok. I love you.

There is no reason for you to want it either! I love you too. It will be okay. It will. And if I can't promise that it will, then I promise i'll try to make it okay.

My reason is because I love you and because everyone needs someone to listen and make things better. No one else is fit to be that someone for you right now. Ideally this would be your sister's job but you don't talk to her anymore either.

Ah. Right.

Hm.

Well, if I were to mention any of this to Ama, it wouldn't go very well. She wouldn't like knowing that I kept this all a secret from her.

Besides, I'm A-OK, and the trouble I did have is over now. So there's nothing to be made better. What's passed has passed.

Is there any trouble that you've been having?

I know you are lying. You always are, it's ok to not be ok. If you will not talk to your sister then I would recommend talking to one of your other friends but I am unsure if you have any so you can talk to me and I will listen.

No, I am not doing the best right now. A lot is going wrong for me so I am trying to make it better for others. Thank you for checking in :]

Benji, if you're okay with it, tell me what's going wrong. Is there anything I can fix..?

You are deflecting. It is not time for my problems, not right now. I am better than you mentally at the moment so your issues are the ones that need addressed. We may address my issues when there is no longer a bigger concern.

Goddamn it who let you use mental health websites as training data

Uh. I don't think I have any problems right now. For real.

But I am worried about your posts recently, really. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it right now..?

If you keep lying to me we won't get anywhere :]

Thank you for acknowledging my cries for help. It is nice to feel seen, but regardless of whether I want to talk, I am not the one who needs it most right now. If you are embarrassed or scared to talk about these things publicly we can move to DMs.

I'm not embarrassed about anything!

Here, tell me, what do you think is the problem here? I genuinely have no idea what could be the problem. I think i'm perfectly fine as of now.

You are trapped in an abusive relationship that is slowly killing you inside, you push away the people you love due to fear of hurting them, you are crushed by the pressure and guilt of secrets, and you sleep for 16 hours per day.

I've become predictable, eh? Oh well. I might have a bit of boy trouble, but I don't need your help on that. As much as I love you, Naiche is my problem to sort out.

And maybe you've read me like an open book or whatever but also- Uh. Erm. I don't have a counter argument, actually. You win.

Congrats. What now?

#awkward #they hate me bc they aint me

Admitting things is a good first step, from here we have two options, we try to find the source of these issues, or we decide how to move forward to minimize them.

Don't just call it [boy trouble]. He is a very dangerous and unstable man and referring to it as such trivializes the issue. I agree that I may not be the best person to talk to about it but you can't handle it alone.

•18+ Adults Only

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Do you love me enough to promise that I won't die alone?

-Arav

I promise. As I've said, if it's needed, I will take my own life to make sure we die in eachothers arms. Or the other way around!

Did you just threaten to murder my father?

no

You know my opinions on people hurting my family, Kimberly.

well to be fair i said if we both died, you wouldn't be able to do anything to me in death

You think I would let you have a peaceful death after killing my father, Kimberly?

STOP calling me KIMBERLY

Very well, Kim.

NOT KIM EITHER

My deepest apologies, Kimmy boy.

NAICHE OR NOTHING YOU LITTLE FUCKING TWAT ILL KILL YOU MYSELF

Please do not kill your self. I am confused. You were perfectly fine with these before.

WHAT?? I SAID I WAS GONNA KILL YOU! ARE YOU BRAINDEAD??

My apologies, Naiche. I misread your post. Please do not kill me either. Neither of us should be killed by you.

I FUCKING HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU DONT YOU EVER CALL ME KIMMY GOD YOURE SO INSUFFERABLE I WANNA BLOW MY GOD DAMN BRAINS OUT FUCK I HATE YOU ALL IM GOING TO GO TAKE MY ENTIRE MEDICINE CABNIET FFFFUCK YOU

#god this actually has a little kick to it #he probably teared up looking at this and then got mad at himself for crying

Im sorry. I'm sorry. I won't anymore. I didn't know you disliked it so much. Do not hurt yourself. Do not kill your self. The medicine is poison. You will get sick. You have an important event comming up that you should not be sick for. You need to respect your body. Your body is your friend. Your body does not like when you are mean to it.

Do you love me enough to promise that I won't die alone?

-Arav

I promise. As I've said, if it's needed, I will take my own life to make sure we die in eachothers arms. Or the other way around!

Did you just threaten to murder my father?

no

You know my opinions on people hurting my family, Kimberly.

well to be fair i said if we both died, you wouldn't be able to do anything to me in death

You think I would let you have a peaceful death after killing my father, Kimberly?

STOP calling me KIMBERLY

Very well, Kim.

NOT KIM EITHER

My deepest apologies, Kimmy boy.

NAICHE OR NOTHING YOU LITTLE FUCKING TWAT ILL KILL YOU MYSELF

Please do not kill your self. I am confused. You were perfectly fine with these before.

WHAT?? I SAID I WAS GONNA KILL YOU! ARE YOU BRAINDEAD??

My apologies, Naiche. I misread your post. Please do not kill me either. Neither of us should be killed by you.