I T ' S N O T R E A L

people make jokes about how people who weren’t allowed to watch spongebob as a kid are always talking about how they weren’t allowed to watch spongebob but as one of the aforementioned people who wasn’t allowed to watch spongebob my insight on the matter is: you would not BELIEVE the amount of times spongebob comes up in normal adult conversations. i don’t often think about him of my own accord but people reference him and i have to say. what? and they say. it’s from spongebob?? and i say. oh i never watched spongebob. and they say why? and i say. i wasn’t allowed to. and then a few weeks later it happens again

I think cis women should be allowed to get top surgery even if its not for a medical reason like breast reduction or cancer. I think they should be able to get it even if they're completely cisgender. Some women are just sick of dealing with them and would be much much happier never needing to wear a bra again

i block ppl all the time so my blocklist ranges from "actual fucking asshole fascist" n "post that mildly annoyed me because im petty" and if i went thru my blocklist rn i probably would have no idea why i blocked each of them but whatever

what do you mean you dont want to buy my $55 dollar unsanded unpainted 3d printed dragon or my $102 resin triangle with sparkles and dungeons and dragons dice in it i worked really hard to make sure these end up in a landfill in exactly 6 months if u dont buy it now ill have to take it to the dump today

“yes, I’ve been wanting to read that!” I say with complete earnestness, as I proceed to ignore every opportunity I have to read it

“I’ve been meaning to read/watch/listen to that, but the stars are not in position, so I can’t do it yet”

Worlds oldest haunted house has passed away at the age of 207

“i'm a boy” “i'm a girl” ok well i'm a car speeding down the boulevard without a brake?? and i'm a heart made of wax and i'm melting in the sun??? and i'm a thread on your shirt that is coming undone???? have u ever considered that?!???

Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"

image description: tweet by @/topherflorence, reading: back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale /end description