I T ' S N O T R E A L

i block ppl all the time so my blocklist ranges from "actual fucking asshole fascist" n "post that mildly annoyed me because im petty" and if i went thru my blocklist rn i probably would have no idea why i blocked each of them but whatever

what do you mean you dont want to buy my $55 dollar unsanded unpainted 3d printed dragon or my $102 resin triangle with sparkles and dungeons and dragons dice in it i worked really hard to make sure these end up in a landfill in exactly 6 months if u dont buy it now ill have to take it to the dump today

“yes, I’ve been wanting to read that!” I say with complete earnestness, as I proceed to ignore every opportunity I have to read it

“I’ve been meaning to read/watch/listen to that, but the stars are not in position, so I can’t do it yet”

Worlds oldest haunted house has passed away at the age of 207

“i'm a boy” “i'm a girl” ok well i'm a car speeding down the boulevard without a brake?? and i'm a heart made of wax and i'm melting in the sun??? and i'm a thread on your shirt that is coming undone???? have u ever considered that?!???

Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"

image description: tweet by @/topherflorence, reading: back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale /end description