bibi.the.pooh

at first, that felt a bit contradictory to me, but i think elle (2026) is actually telling two different coming of age developments that are easy to combine: learning to advocate for yourself, the people you care about, justice & learning to reveal yourself.

the season clearly shows elle becoming better at the first. by the finale, she can tell the stylist, her mom, and her best friend what she wants instead of performing the version of herself everyone expects. the second ability, admitting vulnerability, is much harder for her.

miles is emotionally safer because liking him doesn't threaten her identity (after he's single ofc). their parents know and like each other. he's a jock, conventionally attractive. liking him confirms the story everyone already believes about her.

dustin is different. he's outspoken, socially conscious, and willing to question both authority and elle's assumptions. her mom doesn't like him. he represents a choice that would force elle to acknowledge something about herself. if she admits she likes dustin, she also has to admit that she wants someone who constantly challenges her assumptions, whose values differ from those of her parents and her friends back in la. that's a much bigger confession than simply admitting she has a crush on him.

in that sense, their romance is difficult, but her self-recognition is even more so.

that also explains why so much of her communication with dustin is nonverbal. throughout the season, they have all these moments where only their bodies speak. such as using their lockers in perfect unison, him hugging her while she cries, the elongated looks they exchange in almost every scene, singing karaoke together while sharing a mic. she can't help acting on her crush, but even in the final scene of the season, she can only look at dustin, hoping he understands her feelings just by the way she looks at him. it's something she does multiple times throughout the season. if she never says it out loud, she never has to fully confront what it means.

the contrast between the kisses is particularly telling. with miles, elle initiates. the kiss fits the story she's been trying to write for herself since she moved to seattle. it's an active decision. with dustin, he kisses her. rather than making a choice she has imagined in her head, she has to respond to something that's happening now. it's real.

i wouldn't say that elle kissing miles means she likes him more just because she initiated the kiss. that doesn't necessarily mean she loves dustin more either, although i'd like to believe she does. but it may indicate that her feelings for dustin are less manageable. she's less in control.

one of the best examples of elle finding her voice comes in her conversation with stylist anna st. george in the final episode. elle is hiding from hot josh and the stylist asks, "what's wrong with him?". "too expected," elle replies. she misses being challenged.

when elle says she misses being challenged, she's speaking in a context that has nothing to do with dustin directly. but what if she's articulating a truth about herself that points her toward dustin? she's able to tell the stylist that she wants to be challenged, but she cannot (yet) say, "the person who challenges me is the one i want."

one detail i also find significant is that dustin rarely pressures her into verbalizing what she's feeling. he often seems to read her body language instead. their final scene continues a pattern that started early in the season: their relationship is built less on explicit declarations than on mutual recognition. miles and elle spend more time talking about the possibility of being together. dustin and elle spend more time simply being together until their feelings become difficult to ignore.

"You have a crush on Elle." / "Do you have a crush on Dustin?"

Bc so many ppl focus on the idea of telling A Trusted Adult, but even a well-meaning individual can fuck up and let abuse fall through the cracks or not know what to do

Whereas if a child tells LOADS of adults AND other kids, there's far less opportunity for an abuser to do damage control

Consistently telling their story and spreading it around disempowers the abuser to control and coerce the flow of information, or to utilise gaps and weaknesses in systems of reporting or welfare to isolate the child