A hoard most unlikely

my body is a vessel for the bit

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

being normal about people calling Monika a lesbian despite her being explicitly and canonically bisexual hahaha

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

let's boil uncle in water to reduce his essence into a tincture

this is why commas are so unimportant

oh man oh fuck. I somehow got absolutely completely hammered at the company party and I can only hope I did not humiliate myself completely and done something inexcusable bc I don't remember. at all. I am sosososo scared

ok so crisis averted, I asked three separate people and they all said I was fine 😗 but I have a new question now what the fuck kind of conversation was I having with my boss completely zonked out that prompted him to say I was 'cute' 💀

yknow its interesting how something can impact one demographic in a completely different way than everyone else. in the exorcist when the demon starts speaking in greek, to most people its creepy. but if youre greek and you suddenly start hearing the demon speak perfect fucking greek its genuinely the biggest scare of the movie. you just do not expect to ever hear your language in american movies so it catches you so badly off guard, it feels like the movie is talking directly to you

the first time my dad saw it, it was with his american friends. and when she started speaking greek he turned to one of them and was like "re malaka did you hear that in english?"

If any competition needed to be on Tumblr, it's this one.

the sign in button?

this is how everyone on this website acts

Thats not true i dont think i act like this

(via @rockpapertheodore) #oh noooo i'm so hungryyyy if you don't feed me i might just have to eat this cabllllle#oh noooo i'm am eating the it oh nOOoooo#i am so starving and so hungry that i am eating your very important phone cable you don't want me to eat i am so sorry if only i had been h