Maybe a Poet

small dog is so happy you’re home!! small dog loves you!!!

I think my life is losing momentum

Absence seizures typically last between three and fifteen seconds. Neither of her seizures happened during critical care moments, though of course they could. We have seen many other doctors on this show deal with issues that have caused them to have delays in patient care between three and fifteen seconds. Robby has been letting his issues affect his work in a myriad of ways, Mel put Becca ahead of every other patient she was treating and spent a good amount of time with her, Mohan had a panic attack, Javadi didn't catch the sigmoid volvulus patient, Trinity is falling behind due to exhaustion, Langdon was diluting patient medications (which isn't a timing issue but certainly put patients in a lot more danger than an absence seizure!). There are very few, if any, times in which a patient that will die in the next three to fifteen seconds is being treated by one (1) doctor alone.

Saying that she is unable to run the ED because of her disorder is simply wrong. There will have to be some extra measures put in place perhaps (like two attendings) but no more than there needs to be extra measures in place to protect the staff and patients from Robby's self-destructive warpath.

There is a lot of emphasis placed on the ED being a place of multiple moving parts, the staff being a team. I'd go even so far as to say the theme of the season is that this job cannot be done alone.

Last season, when Robby had his breakdown, he tells Abbot later: "I choked."

Abbot's reply: "For what? Forty seconds? Three minutes? Ten minutes? So fucking what? We all have that, that is what happens when you're in a war and nothing makes sense. We survived as a species because we learned how to cooperate and communicate."

These people are not robots, that is the thesis of the show. They will all deal with something that makes them slip, but because of the people around them, that will not be the end-all be-all.

'you don't have to be sorry,' maddie keeps saying back, kissing his birthmark. it reminds her of when buck was very small, crying because he thought that their parents were ignoring him because they got mad at him for something he couldn't figure out himself. she held him then. she will never stop holding him.

'i'm sorry you have to do this,' buck says.

maddie holds him tighter. 'i wouldn't want to be anywhere else.'

'i'm sorry chim had to tell you.'

'i'm glad you felt safe enough to tell chim.'

'i'm sorry-' buck's voice breaks. 'i'm sorry i didn't ask for help sooner.'

and maddie exhales against his sweaty curls, breath shaking. she thinks about road traffic and crowded hospitals. what to do when all your resources are empty and you have to figure something out anyways. she thinks about drowning. about running away. buck has always been braver than her in that way. he had always chosen to run towards something instead.

'if someone had dragged me out of the ocean, i would've found another way to sink,' she says, and she's not surprised to feel damp tears at the collar of her shirt. 'i had to choose to get out myself. it wouldn't have worked any other way.'

buck doesn't say anything for a while, just clings to her the way she clung to him once, both of them drowning and life rafts.

'us buckleys are pretty stubborn, huh,' he says, finally. his voice is shaking, but there is something like a smile in it.