friendly neighbourhood whore

If life is a never ending loop of dirty dishes and laundry then that means life is a never ending loop of home cooked meals and comfy clean clothes

Trying to fall sleep like

local woman who claimed she will "cross that bridge when she comes to it" arrives at said bridge

reports are coming in that she is now burning said bridge

somewhere out there tonight a girl is having painfully mediocre sex with a man in a ghost face mask.... everyone lets bow our heads and give her a moment of silence for a second .......

Youre not high. You're pregnant with weed. If you don't keep smoking the baby will die inside you.

Pins you to a wall with a dagger against your throat (romantically)

anyway… do u want to rent a cabin that has an outdoor hot tub w me so we can kiss and make out in it. idk just a thought :/

worlds stupidest smartest most stupid girl

this is cannon btw

Reminds me of the veggie tale twitter post

the what