Between_The_Liness

The leaves rustle softly

The blades of green grass brush against each other

The birds' singing can be heard in the distance

And the sunlight shines upon her skin

Her legs carry her toward the edge

Toward the trees that call her name

Toward the edge of the meadow where she once skipped happily, now wandering with doubt

The wind plays with her hair

Her skin and freckles glisten

All the sounds around her distract her

Away from the trees

Away from the edge

Away from the voices

Still, she listens

They call her to the edge of the meadow

To the trees where she will surely become trapped

Because within the dark forest there is only shadow

No sun, no singing, no rustling blades of grass

The girk walks and stops

Thinks for a moment, and then no longer

But one thing remains

"Leave me alone, I do not want to be lost yet"

She wants to enjoy the warmth around her

New chapter

Another one closed

Again because of someone who broke me

Again a broken heart

But not for long

He opened my eyes

I don't need anyone to make me feel good about myself

The silence feels healing, even in my mind

I've had time to think

And I've come to realize

That I shouldn't look behind me

But instead ahead of me

The past is the past

The future lies open

Filled with new chances, choices and chapters

Along with obstacles

But eventually, those too become part of the past

The future has something in store for everyone

Don't let the past hold us back

And keep going

Because beautiful things are waiting for you

Live today and look forward to a new adventure

Look toward a new chapter

Sometimes I no longer understand my own mind

There is so much chaos

So many different thoughts and questions

So many answers that I need

But nowhere to be found

My mind and fears speak louder

Louder than my heart and body

Louder than I actually want

They decide

Even though they are a part of me

They decide

For me

I can’t figure it out anymore

So much chaos inside me

In my life

People would do anything

To feel no chaos at all

No different thoughts

No need for answers

I would do anything

For silence there

For finally some light in my head

I closed chapters

At least, I hoped I did

Some better than others

Often I thought about truly closing the entire book

Those I still thought about

Those I still held onto

Have finally faded

Because of you

Tomorrow, I'll know you for one month

Tomorrow, one week together

A happy period I will never forget

My heart was locked

It was my vault, full of sadness, fear, anger & secrets

Until you found the key, the code to break it open

You opened the dark vault again

Let me feel what it's like to be loved again

You turned the dark blue into a rose, yellow shade

Love, happiness, hope, joy

Thanks to you

You broke it open, let me be happy

Showed me the beauty of the world

But don't break it into ten thousand pieces

The heart needs love

The body needs touch

The soul needs rest

Plants need water and light

The rainbow needs rain and sun

The earth needs warmth and life

But me?

I need you

You back in my life

That same look when you gaze at me

Being in a warm, safe hug again

Those sweet messages and words again

Those soft lips on mine again

Your love again, which I don’t deserve

I wait until the world is ready for us

I wait until we are ready for us

I long for you, but I am patient

I long for your love, your touch, your peace

But do you want me? Do you want my love and touch?

I want to say so much, but I can't find the right words.

I want to show so much, but I don't know the right gestures.

I want to feel so much, but I feel too much to actually enjoy it.

I notice every little thing, every detail.

I want to see so much, but I keep my eyes closed in case I confront my fears, in case I see the wrong thing.

I want to hear so much, but sometimes I hear more than I actually want to.

I want to enjoy as much as possible, but what if I enjoy something too long that’s actually bad for me.

I want to experience every little moment, every event.

Sometimes I want to be someone else, it doesn’t matter who, as long as it’s not myself.

Sometimes I want everything, but at the same time nothing.

Sometimes I want to be alone, but at the same time someone who says everything will be fine, that I can achieve anything.