amelia bones

Remus stood frozen in the middle of his casual browsing of the book store, unsure how to move forward. He couldn’t very well move on like he hadn’t seen anything– not when he recognized the crying girl.

“Er–,” he tried to intervene, right as Amelia let out a sob. Remus winced, his mind racing: What would James do? What would Sirius do? He looked around the bookstore nervously, as if his more socially adept friends were going to magically appear out of nowhere. Remus cleared his throat, and tried again. This time, he managed to say actual words: “Amelia, are you okay? You look a bit distressed.” Real smooth. “I mean, is there anything I can help you with?” Great. Now he sounded like he worked at the bookstore.

It was embarrassing to be caught in the midst of an emotional breakdown but Amelia supposed there were worse people to be caught by. Remus had always been kind, the quiet type but warm in a way that the other boys he hung around with were not. They had been on rounds together a few times as prefects and Amelia had noticed Remus was a little more mature than some of the other boys in their year. It was something she had always appreciated about him. "Remus.." she acknowledged. "I-I'm alright." She managed to choke out the words as she shamefully turned her face away, wiping her eyes. Sniffing, she turned back to look him in the eye. “I promise you I'm not crying over books.." Amelia secretly wished that was her biggest concern right now. "Just stressed..I..What are you doing?"

Reg wasn’t looking for anything in particular, really, but he enjoyed seeing the new selections that Obscurus acquired whenever he could. He’d once found a copy of The Tales of Beetle the Bard from 1864, although it was more galleons than he could afford and though his mother was inclined to give it as a birthday gift, his father deemed it too juvenile a purchase. Still, he scanned the shelves until he spotted a familiar figure. He was about to say hello, perhaps berate Amelia about whatever uncultured halfblood literary taste she was undoubtedly harboring, when he noticed her near crying. “Come across a good tragedy, then?” he asked, hoping for a light approach.

It seemed everywhere Amelia went these days, Regulus was not too far behind. Amelia couldn’t shake the irritation she felt when he suddenly appeared with a snide comment or an invasive question ( like the trick charm situation at the party ). Now was simply the worst time, in the midst of a hormonal breakdown while looking for books on motherhood. Amelia assumed she would be safe from prying eyes by avoiding Flourish and Blotts but obviously she was very wrong. Amelia looked away, wiping her eyes angrily. Humiliated to be caught in such a compromising position. “The only tragedy is running into you in a secluded bookshop.” she couldn’t help but snipe, “I’m sure the tears of lowly halfbloods aren’t worth your curiosity anyway.”

Amelia needed more information. The restricted section of the library had yielded some valuable results on potions. A folded page, ripped from one of the larger tomes, now resided in her purse but she was still very reluctant to take those drastic measures. Visiting a muggle clinic had crossed her mind more than once but how would she pay for it? Amelia couldn’t help but sigh deeply, standing in the narrow rows of Obscurus, searching for something, anything. She felt tears prick the corners of her eyes as she suddenly felt like she was sinking. Unaware of the person standing a few feet away, watching her with rapt attention, Amelia let out a small sob as she pushed an errant strand of hair from her face.

    she’d been holding onto that particular cup of firewhiskey for longer than most it seemed. although she was far from sober at this point, she’d started pacing herself more as the night went on. and as the night continued, she’d found herself more than a little lonely even though she was surrounded by classmates. she flashed a genuine smile upon seeing amelia. “that obvious?” she asked, her tone slightly teasing and full of more than a little sarcasm. “it’s been alright, i suppose, but i feel like i’ve done everything i came to do,” petunia continued with a small sigh. “what about you? have you had fun tonight?”

“A little?” Amelia answered, the uncertainty in her voice more than obvious. Had she been having a good time? Merlin, she had wanted to but had spent most of the night pretending. It all felt like to much effort. “I don’t know what I was expecting from the night anyway..” Mostly, answers. She had hoped to find answers despite being too ashamed to ask anyone if that had seen anything at that party over a month ago. “I somehow ended up with that stupid trick charm.” Amelia sighed. She had been irritated with herself for even engaging in that kind of childish behavior. 

Regulus’s voice stirred something in Amelia, something peculiar that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She didn’t have time dwell on it before the answer to his question was coming out of her mouth, “Yes, I stole-..” Once Amelia realized exactly what she was saying, she dropped the trick charm onto the sand. No, no, no. She could almost kick herself for agreeing to this stupid game. Amelia couldn’t possibly go into details about what she had stolen from a certain professor’s stores recently. It had been easy enough, sneaking down to the dungeons when she was supposed to be on patrol a few floors above. Plus, Slughorn wasn’t the most attentive of professors anyway. She didn’t make a habit of thievery but there had been quite a few things she had needed and couldn’t afford. Amelia coughed awkwardly, before straightening her posture. “I think that’s quite enough for me tonight.” she said, feeling everyone’s eyes boring holes into her, “This thing is so childish anyway..”

“Working for the Ministry.” Amelia managed to say it with some ease, dodging her underlying worries about her future. She felt a sudden pinprick of irritation as she looked over at Alecto, her own paranoia creeping in. Like the other girl might be able to just tell. Amelia tossed her hair over her shoulder, rolling her eyes with an air of nonchalance as if the question were stupid. “What else would you expect, Carrow?” she snorted, “You’ve all known my career goals since I was a first year...I haven’t exactly been shy about it...I’ll most certainly become head girl and then it’s off for an internship once we graduate.”

Coming tonight hadn’t been Amelia’s idea ( rather, Edgar’s ) but she wouldn’t deny that she was tempted to see her friends one more time. One more time. Before the consequences of her decisions became her day to day reality and not just a passing worry when she looked at the calendar. She had been sneaky enough tonight, feigning intoxication and either dumping the contents of her cup out or charming it away. She had taken a few sips here and there to throw off any suspicions and no one seemed the wiser. She had just refilled her cup about thirty minutes before, finally getting a moment to dump it out onto the sand. Thinking she was alone, she was surprised to be faced with one of many party-goers who was sporting a puzzled expression. “Black.” Amelia acknowledged, clearing her throat, “Some party, right?”

“Yes.” Amelia responded. It was an easy enough question for her. Amelia had always excelled in school and academia had come to be a place of comfort for her. Internally, she was also despairing at the thought of not being able to finish. Certain that her parents would never let her return to school if they knew about her condition. Who knows if Dumbledore would mind? Amelia certainly didn’t want to be the token beach ball roaming the corridors of Hogwarts. “I just love school...I’ll miss my friends too...Hogwarts is home, right?”  

There was no need to be home any time soon as her parents trusted Amelia unconditionally ( a thought that made her stomach turn now ). She had spent most of the night pretending to be drunk, charming away the contents of her cup or simply dumping it out when her friends weren’t looking. Amelia definitely didn’t want to be pregnant but she wasn’t stupid enough to drink while being in that condition. She fought the urge to place her hand over her stomach, frowning deeply as she reminded herself that she couldn’t possibly handle having a child. It was then that she spied Petunia alone, plopping down in the sand a few feet away. Could she trust Petunia with this? There was no way in hell that she could tell Edgar. Heaving a sigh, Amelia made her way to Petunia, dropping down in the sand next to her. “Still having fun?” she asked, forcing a smile.

Amelia’s nose wrinkled before quickly spitting out, “The restricted section.” Amelia paused for a moment before adding, “I needed to look up something in the restricted section...I didn’t get permission from a professor.” Maybe not the crime of the century but if only people knew what Amelia was looking up. It would certainly raise eyebrows.

“Myself.” The answer slipped out of Amelia’s lips before she could stop herself. She squeezed the trick charm tighter into her fist as she bit down on her bottom lip, willing herself to think about the rest of her answer before she spilled her guts. Everyone watched her with rapt attention as she gathered her thoughts before continuing, “We’re our own worst enemy, right?...I suppose I’m just wary of making a life-changing mistake...”