𝖇𝖊𝖓𝖘𝖔𝖓 𝖇𝖗𝖆𝖉𝖑𝖊y

no homo but the deer in headlights look you got going on is doing it for me

“stop doing au’s that I don’t agree with!” …… do. do you know. do you know what au means. do you know that it is fiction and can be whatever you want. do you understand the idea of interpretation.

that’s my emotional support hostage

*bouncing and whining on it* do you like. actually like me?

I think it would be interesting to see the uglier parts of trauma represented by Benson, where he desires intimacy but he becomes repulsed by the enormity of it and begins to blame Randy and makes him feel ashamed for reciprocating those desires more easily then he ever could, and Randy internalizes the shame and disgust which is palpable when Benson is triggered into sex repulsion. It’s always a one step forward 100 steps back, sex is great, sex is disgusting, initiating becomes a gamble, having desires is wrong, just like Randy’s mom taught him, here is the living proof

eventually this would dysregulate Randy’s ability to be in tune with his body if he ever was to begin with, and he would start avoiding all forms of intimacy and further spiral Benson into his narrative of Wanting To Touch Him Is Bad and I’m Just Like Sheppard until ultimately he crosses the line where Randy has to say no because Benson desperately wants to prove he is not a predator but ends up fulfilling that role. I think it would be the first time he breaks down in front of Randy, regressing between his innocent confused child self and angry teenager that finally understands what happened to him and Randy has no clue what to do other than hug Benson as close as possible even if he’s trying to pull away, he’d tell Benson it’s not his fault, he doesn’t say what, but Benson finally lets go of control