sleeping in the bed i made

I’ve always said I have some weird tolerance for caffeine. I’m not a coffee drinker but I can drink Diet Cokes all day and sleep like a baby. It doesn’t give me a jittery feeling, I don’t feel like I have more energy or get-up-and-go, nothing, nathan, nada. 

The other day, however, I overheard something somewhere that caffeine doesn’t actually give you energy; it blocks the signals that tell your brain that it’s tired. That makes sense. Because I had vodkas and Red Bull years ago and was awake for about 24 hours. I had a Booster Juice this afternoon/evening with an energy booster and, although I went to bed at midnight, I’ve been awake and twiddling my thumbs since 2am. 

Ruby and I were talking the other day about (my little sister’s baby) RJ and she asked if he was her cousin or her step-cousin. As often happens, we started playing the “how are we related” game. 

She said if she had a baby, Gabriel (her brother) would be his uncle. And her sister Briar would be the baby’s aunt. Mummy would be a grandmother and Bev would be a step-grandmother. She said “Daddy would be a grandpa.” She giggled at the thought. You know what she said next?

“Daddy will be a great grandpa.”

He would be a grandpa not a great-grandfather, silly.

She said “No! He would be a Great grandfather because he is a Great dad!”

You think he’s a good dad?

“He’s the Best dad.”

So, putting it all into perspective, dreams are being realized here. My sister, who has been trying to get pregnant for the past five or six years will be giving birth any day. ANY DAY! And I, who went on a blind mission of faith a decade ago, am now living the life I manifested... with the love I hoped for, the child I wanted, and the job I desired. 

So what if I’m stressed out of my mind! So what if I’m freaking out that things might turn to shit, that I might never enlist a single resident and lose my job before the summer is over. So what that there are no guarantees that my sister’s child will be healthy and that his birth will cause her minimal pain. So what if my allergies are driving me crazy, that I want to rip my eyes out, that I can’t stop sneezing and that I look like a lunatic. So what if I’m moody and irritable and can’t stand the smell of the laundry detergent my fiance convinced me to try. So what? So what?? 

Life is good. I’m happy. I’m where I wanted to be. That always brings about a huge amount of fear because I finally have so much to lose. And that will only make me try harder, work more, and push beyond the limits that have existed so far. 

Well, hello there Tumblr... it has been a long time, about a year since I posted regularly. I’m so amazed to scroll through my feed and see the changes in your lives... who has lost 100 pounds, who is in new relationships with weddings and kiddlings and babies on the way, some of you have been though less than happy times, many of you haven’t changed at all. 

Life has been going along quite swimmingly for us. Thank you to those who have inquired... Jeff, Ruby and I are all well. Ruby is growing like a weed, and getting more beautiful and mature every time we see her. Jeff is getting more curmudgeon-ly and set in his ways every day, and we are both a little proud of that. We have built a solid relationship and have a happy little family that still has trials and tribulations but, balancing the good and the bad, we come out way ahead overall. Although I did just find a recipe on the printer for “Quick & Easy” shepherd’s pie that is made with instant mashed potatoes so I do think a fight may be brewing. Blech.

As you can see from my previous two posts, I finally found the job I’ve been searching for and am very pleased with myself, especially given the number of times I wanted to throw in the towel and run in the other direction. (That stupid little fortune cookie note on the fridge pushed me to take a deep breath and keep on keeping on more than once.) Actually, that and reminding myself that there was also a time I thought things wouldn’t work out with Jeff, a time I thought my family didn't like me, a time I thought I’d always be unhappy, a time I hated how I looked, a time... well, you get the point. If you hang on long enough, the good will always come back around. Unfortunately the opposite is also true but that just means you have to enjoy it while you have it, right? 

I can’t say how much I’ll be posting here. I really miss Tumblr for many reasons (the people) but I also dislike it for many reasons (the other people). I am working on my own right now until I get this new seniors’ residence up and running so maybe loneliness will bring me back. I have a wee fear of returning to my former workaholic lifestyle but somewhere along the way I know I’ll find the balance that works best for me. As I always have, as I hope I always will.

That being said, I bet you’re wondering what name I finally chose for the new business! When I wrote the post I intentionally tried to not promote my favourite name, I didn’t put it first on the list and I threw in a couple of names that weren’t in the running just for good measure. And guess what? Every single person that replied (except Ted - and I did seriously consider “Simcoe Centre for Old Folks”, honest) voted for the name I wanted most, so we are now Simcoe Easy Living. 

Hey everyone! Yes, it has been a verrrry long time but I need help with something and I couldn’t think of another group I’d rather hear from than my good ol’ honest, straightforward and diverse Tumblr crowd. 

So, here’s the deal. Wait! Did I tell you I got a new job? A good one! That was easy... only took three years or so. But it was worth the wait, the effort, the struggle. The job is setting up and then managing a new retirement residence in a neighbouring city and, as is my way, I am two feet in and raring to go. 

This will be a spot for retired folk who like the idea of living in a community where their meals are prepared and served (read: no deciding what to cook, no grocery shopping, no dishes to wash), where they have their own maid service (a.k.a. weekly housekeeping and laundry), where they can attend arranged activities (fun, entertaining, educational, brain stimulating, body moving activities). Senior living but a community of able bodied, active and social retirees who don’t need a nurse or someone to remind them when it’s time to eat. Did I mention it will cost less than the competition? Because it will cost way less than the competition. 

What I need help with is the name! I have a few I like but want to hear some differing opinions and perceptions. Here are a few ideas we’ve been throwing around so far:

1. Simcoe Lifestyle Residence

2. Simcoe Easy Living

3. Simcoe Retirement

4. Simcoe Adult Living

5. Simcoe Easy Retirement 

Whatever you’re thinking, lay it on me. You don’t have to be nice, just be straight and let me know which you like best or if you think of something I haven’t mentioned. The idea is to be different enough that we aren’t treading on anyone’s toes but not so different that it doesn’t make sense. 

Okay? 

Okay. 

On the road that I have taken,

one day, walking, I awaken.

Amazed to see where I have come,

where I’m going, where I’m from.

This is not the path I thought,

this is not the place I sought,

this is not the dream I bought;

just a fever of fate I’ve caught.

I’ll change highways in a while

at the crossroads, one more mile.

My path is lit with my own fire

I’m going only where I desire.

On the road that I have taken

one day, walking, I awaken.

One day, walking, I awaken