muse

「可靜，你畫的這幅畫，為甚麼太陽和月亮看來如此悲傷？」

Being all alone is like the feeling you get when you stand at the mouth of a large river on a rainy evening and watch the water flow into the sea. Have you ever done that? Stand at the mouth of a large river and watch the water flow into the sea?

Lonely metal souls on the unimpeded darkness of space, they meet, pass each other, and apart, never to meet again. No words passing between them. No promises to keep.

I dreamed that someday there'd be a sudden, major transformation. Even if the chances of it coming true were slim, I could dream about it, couldn't I? But I knew it would never come true.

Of course it hurt that we could never love each other on a physical way. We would have been far more happy if we had. But that was like the tides, the change of seasons — something immutable, an immovable destiny we could never alter.

The spaceship that brought me there had disappeared, and I was stuck. I'd have to survive on my own.

Chapter 9

人生中可能需要這種，努力嘗試去使用和平常所用的不同肌肉的時期。就算當時的努力並沒有得到結果。

Oh, it happened all right. But now it's gone.

「自由」這件事，就算只是片刻的幻想也好，依然是任何東西都無法替代的美好事情。

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those... moments... will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

⋯球賽個屁咧。對某些人來說是球賽。你要是參加了實力雄厚的那一邊，倒可以說是場球賽，沒錯——我願意承認這一點。但你要是參加了另外一邊，一點實力都沒有，那麼還賽什麼球？什麼也賽不成。根本談不上什麼球賽。

我不在乎是走得很難過，還是走得很不漂亮，但只要是離開一個地方，我總希望離開的時候自己心裡有數，否則感覺甚至更糟。

他想，或者真的應該生活在一個由宗教信仰構成的故事裡。至少，故事裡的總是好人受賞、壞人遭殃。哪怕區別好壞的定義有點不清不楚，總比生活在一個毫無公道可言的現實中強吧。