Washington DC memorial with the chairs representing the American casualties of COVID-19, each chair represents 10 people           

LAPD President Eileen Decker: “Yes, we can [hear you].”

Speaker: “Great. Uh, first thing’s first, Chief Moore, you’ve gotta do a better job at pretending you care about this, man. I’ve been watching you roll your eyes and offer half-hearted smirks, acting like a teenager who’s falling asleep in detention. Are you not aware of the war crimes your department’s doing, or are you just that impatient to do more of them?

“I see a lot of you, particularly [Commissioner] Soboroff, only react when people use profanity in their remarks. If you think curse words are bad, wait until you hear about the six hundred-plus murders your department has committed over the last seven years! As long as Moore’s out here equating peaceful protesters with cops who murder black people, you all could pretend to be as angry about murder as the F word, OK, kids?

“I know you’re all having a rough day, what with everyone here telling you you’re bad at your jobs. Have you considered being good at your jobs. If not you could find new jobs in retail or restaurants! I know how desperate [Mayor] Garcetti is to get Angelenos consuming again during a global pandemic. (Where were the curfews then, by the way? Weird.)

“Chief Moore is morally obligated to resign. Mikey, I know you said you didn’t mean protesters are as much to blame for George Floyd’s murder as his murderers. That’s a lie! It is what you meant! And we all know it. Mikey’s made it clear in his racist actions and empty platitudes that he doesn’t care about the well-being of his constituents. He loves to teargas them, blind them, force them indoors with curfews that are announced only a half hour before they take effect, and racially profile as he does so! Don’t think I didn’t hear about how yesterday you sent out an alert in English saying curfew started at 5 pm, and sent out an alert right after in Spanish saying it started at 6! What’s up with that, bud?

“All of your cute Zoom background photos of the city won’t trick us into thinking you care about anyone but yourselves and what’s in your pockets. To close with a James Cameron quote, “Cops think of all noncops as less than they are, stupid, weak, and evil. They dehumanize the people they are sworn to protect and desensitize themselves in order to do that job.” That’s you pigs to a T.