Be Honest, Mom

Every milestone my child has reached, I have been so happy about! Other parents warned me I wouldn’t be, that I would regret it because it’s more work. It’s more supervision and constant chasing around. But every milestone, I’ve been thankful for, because it meant my child was less frustrated, able to do or go where she wanted, able to communicate more and help me to understand what she needs. 

It took her awhile to gain the confidence she needed to fully walk on her own. It was on the day she turned 16 months that she finally got her independence. 

We tried it all to get her to walk, we even had toilet paper hanging from the ceiling because of how much she likes to rip it up. We never carried her around everywhere, in fact, when we went out she did a ton of walking by pushing the shopping cart or her stroller. We went on walks every day, and in the house, she would constantly come over and grab my hands so she could walk instead of crawl. She loved to walk, she wanted to walk- just not by herself. 

It was a little frustrating as she was getting to be a lot older, and a lot heavier. Her pants constantly got ruined in the knee area from the crawling and dirt. Then one day, she just decided she would let go and keep walking. We tried letting go before. Every time we did, even if we were mid walk, she would plop right on down. 

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw her walking on her own. It was wild! I wasn’t use to it at all and I loved watching her. She wants to walk all the time and be outside all day. That can get hard where we live because on a day like today (and it’s only April) it was over 90 degrees. 

I didn’t think I would regret her walking on her own, and maybe regret is too strong of a word. I was up for the challenge of chasing her around, but I was also looking forward to being able to do more things with her. Taking her to a park and letting her explore, etc. 

I didn’t fully grasp the independence that came with walking on her own. She learned the phrase “let’s go” and uses it appropriately. How did she get to be so smart? When we go for walks it’s a lot harder now to change directions. Before we would just turn around, (when she needed me to hold her hand). Now it’s “no” and turning in the other direction. She walks up people’s driveways and across their lawn like she owns the place. 

It’s almost impossible now to go out in public. Shopping is so hard because she doesn’t want to sit in the cart. So I let her push it, but then she wants to run off. I look like a mom who can’t control their child, but how can you really control a child who doesn’t understand reasoning yet? She’s not scared about getting lost or not knowing where she is. She’s learning, she’s exploring the world around her. 

I enjoy letting her explore, but I also cringe at the thought of what other people are thinking. When we go for walks outside, I let her play in the dirt, or pick up rocks, or the little seeds that fall from the tree. She’s curious and so far, she’s remained healthy. 

Going out to eat now is so difficult. She will not sit in the high chair as she no longer likes to sit. If she’s awake, she wants to move. That’s not a bad thing, but it does make it difficult to do things like that for now.

So this stage will be challenging. She doesn’t always need my hand, or want it. But I’m right there beside her for when she does. When a hill get’s too tough, or she falls and wants help up. When we’re at home and it’s already taken me three hours to complete one task, but she wants to sit on my lap, I make the choice to stop- put it on hold, because for the next few minutes my baby girl wants to cuddle and to be honest, there is nothing else I would rather be doing.

One day she won’t need me at all, she won’t ever want to hold my hand and I won’t get to kiss her a hundred times a day- I’ll be lucky if I get one. So enjoy your new found independence my love, and I’ll be right here whenever you need me again, waiting for you to reach out your hand and grab mine and say “let’s go.”