You can’t take Loved away

I don't think I can fully appreciate how much Nona the Ninth means to me yet; all I know is that every time I think about it for too long I have to fight the tears. Everyone is just trying so hard and they love so deeply even in the face of the horrors

I should reread Harrow the Ninth

thinking about palamades going “good morning gideon” when she stops him from taking the blood sample in ntn and how that parallels john going “annabel good morning” in the epilogue

#we really really don't talk enough about the john and pal parallels tbh#there are so many jesus figures but those two (and paul) do it in a very particular way#nerds who devoted so much of themselves to academia and research and get so angry when others act unfairly#despite being willing to break the rules when they deem it for the greater good (one of them a better judge than the other)#end up fusing souls with a woman or feminine entity they'd devoted their lives to#with her being the most important thing in their universe but it being extremely nebulous if it's at all romantic#both also being romantically involved with another now dead woman who they feel like they miserably failed (Dulcie and M—)#having a complicated dynamic with a woman who is ultimately a facsimile of the original. and who they ultimately kill. (Cyth and Mercy)#(also John gets A— and Augustine in a similar role that's neither quite the same nor has a direct parallel but still)#zealots who only ever wanted good and truth and who care so much#one who's done heinous things for a myriad in pursuit of ends that justify his means. one who's not blameless but still has such promise#hell even the short nondescript brown hair and strong jawlines#John has brown eyes in the beginning and Pal has them (Cam's) at his end#John ends up with sunlight gold (and later solar eclipse) eyes and Pal starts out with clear bright moon silver eyes @oh-jod-dammit

Fellas, is it gay to say you don’t even remember about someone most of the time when you’ve just spent all night burying bones to prevent them from escaping for the 87th time? 🤔

coming back to life just to have the freakiest sex possible with the guy that killed me

~ Awake Remembrance of These Valiant Dead Kia Hua Ko Te Pai Snap Back to Reality Oops There Goes Gravity

#now I see where you're coming from here but she very much did NOT come back to life to do that #canon typical necrophilia @mayasaura

more women whump. more women pushing themselves and passing out from sleep deprivation and exhaustion. more women training until their knuckles bleed and their legs give out from under them. more women being held prisoner and remaining stoic until the very end or perhaps when they’re rescued. more women under truth serum and terrifying hallucinogens. more women waking up in a pool of blood, their own and others’ and not knowing what happened but that something is terribly wrong with them. more women falling apart o ly when rescued. more women pushed to their breaking point. more women whump.