Out of Context D&D Quote Starters:
“EXCUSE YOU, I AM A HOT FAIRY.”
“I’ll kick a tree’s ass.”
“You should seduce the boat!”
“I killed a man today. In space. On a dragon. With a shovel.”
“Can I have flaming pistols?”
“No, you may not make a human centipede out of your army of 50 children.”
“Can I pay them money not to come near me?”
“I’m pretty sure fish don’t accept money.”
“I don’t know what we need to bleed on.”
“Let’s bleed on everything, just to be safe.”
“I’m going to go out on a limb and say we’re not going to solve this problem by bleeding on it.”
“Your ass is not a weapon you are proficient with.”
“That is the only dwarf ass I’m going to draw for you today.”
“Oh shit, I forgot the princess.”
“Did you just pull a gun out of your hair?”
“Who just carries spiders around in their pockets?!”
“He fought like he lived… Full of spears.”
“Ok, so there’s a lot of teeth in this water.”
“I’m not sure how to split a throne evenly. We all have a sitting schedule?”
“How many noses are going into this chicken?”
“We just turned a ritualistic orphan sacrifice chamber into a nightclub.”
“We need to give this guy a proper burial. After we loot his body. And take his teeth.”
“Yeah, he’s a ghost now. But I can punch ghosts, so it’s fine.”
“Have you ever seen a dragon choke on one hundred and thirty five orphans? Because you’re about to.”
“I can be responsible for my own severed leg, thank you.”
“Look, if I’m going to be a part of this Badger Cult, I expect career options!”
“I can’t believe you just pre-battle blazed it.”
“You lose the moral high ground after the second murder.”
“I am literally dying for your sins right now! Do not fuck this up for me!”
“Summon the monkeys! They will be relevant!”
“What happens if you die in Hell?” “Double Hell.”
“Long term goal: we put your corpse on the airship.”
“Does it still count as ‘evil’ if I feel really bad about it?”
“Everyone is ambidextrous until proven otherwise.”
“Hold my record player, I’m going in.”
“I have never tried to stab you in a combat situation!”
“Want to use my knife? It’s only been used for our own ritual blood-letting.”
“I’m not sure we can even beat a log right now. We must negotiate with it.”
janainaart
theartofmadeline
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