Infant Socialite Beatypeen

Freak in the streets depressed in the sheets

My teeth are in a rebellious phase right now but I think one day they'll straighten themselves out That was a pun but it's okay because I am cooler than you thanks for your time everyone

Puts on first 48 as background noise at a party

Me: puts a piece of tape on my cat’s head Cat: shakes it off Me: stop letting social norms dictate your fashion sense life is too short

Online dating was made for people who go on 3am jogs and ride their bikes in the street like its a car and put their fingers in animals cages

Online dating requires nerves of steel

You know how when guys do q and a's they get 1 billion "cut or uncut?" questions and the person is like I'm so sick of this question thats how I feel when someone asks if I want ketchup

Hating Sam Smith cause he doesn't know gay oscars trivia is pretty unnecessary