i’ve waited a really long time for this

when i was in middle school i probably thought that fandom becoming more mainstream would help me feel less shame but instead it’s like having constant 4D secondhand humiliation beamed directly into my skull

getting fixated on something is funny because the first like week i have an insatiable need to tell everyone i know about it and spread the good word but by weeks 2 and 3 it becomes so intense and personal that even hearing it mentioned in public makes me sweat as if a dark secret was alluded to

"for my own sanity, i'm going to stop thinking about this!" ← person who's going to think about it all the time forever

"what if they fucked" WRONG. what if they ruined each other's lives irreparably. what if there was nothing left but a smoldering heap. what if everything that brought them together twisted and corroded and ripped them apart. and then they fucked.

my most Millennial trait is that i want big screen to think properly. to compose my thoughts. app exists for your thing but no website? bad bad bad not good for think, need big screen for think. i wrote this post on the small screen btw

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit