You're a Pink Pony Girl and You Dance at the Club!

You can move to scroll in another space (if you haven’t gotten out of bed yet, move to the couch; if you haven’t left the house yet, you can sit outside)

You can make your current space more pleasant to scroll in (if it’s not possible to move spaces, open a window or light a candle in your space)

You can scroll while taking care of your body (change into clean clothes, scroll while brushing your teeth or washing your face, scroll while drinking water or having a snack)

You can stay on social media but avoid depressing or mindless content (try searching for fun facts, hobbies you’re interested in, or good news)

Hard mode: try just making the switch on your phone from short-form to long-form content (from dozens of short posts to an article, a fanfic, or an ebook; from TikToks/Reels/Shorts to a interesting or fun YouTube video, podcast, audiobook, or film) — this can be the first step in transitioning out of being “stuck,” because you can, for example, go on a walk while listening to an audiobook, fold clothes while watching a video, etc.

Expert mode: Set a timer for one minute and put down your phone. Do anything else. (Take deep breaths, go get a drink, pick up a book or craft.) If you can do this, aspire to two or five minutes and keep increasing your time away from scrolling. (Use your phone to play music, a podcast, or an audiobook if this prevents you from picking it up again)

They get shirts screen-printed with Steve's face on it and something silly he always says, and then they all wear them to practice. They time how long it takes Steve to notice (nine minutes and only because the team had a bad case of giggles).

It's a funny prank.

Steve gets a kick out of it.

Unbeknownst to Steve or the team, the guy who made their shirts is an old friend of Eddie 'left Hawkins and got famous' Munson.

It was a known secret in Hellfire that Eddie was crushing bad on King Steve so he sent Eddie one of the shirts.

Steve calls.

Before the interviewer can finish saying, "We have someone on the line from your homet-"

"Why are you wearing a shirt with my face on it?" Steve asks. "And would it kill you to answer the phone when Dustin calls you? Or call him back? The kid misses you."

“So... We got the exploding diarrhea. Here's my advice for anyone who doesn't have it yet:

It's going to take a minute for the government to pin down where this is coming from, and then issue a recall, because the FDA has been gutted. But, I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt : this is coming from Taylor Farms produce, and you will see them recalled.

You'll want to avoid all Taylor Farms produce in the grocery store. They supply McDonalds, KFC, Pizza Hut, about any fast food place you can think of.

Raspberries, watermelons, cilantro, and the veggies you're hearing about are not causing this many people to get sick. It's the shredded lettuce, specifically, that's the problem. But, you'll want to stay away from every type of produce this company puts out, because one strand of shredded lettuce is all it takes to contaminate bushels.

Taylor Farms is the source. Taco Bell proactively pulled their produce from their restaurants. You're going to see other fast food places doing this, and probably will see that before the government names a source. The FDA knows this, but they can't come out and tell us all until there's proof, which takes resources and research, which takes manpower, but the FDA has been cut by about 20-30%

During the Biden term, onions at McDonald's had ecoli. We knew this because DNA testing was done quickly and they were able to narrow it down to one place that caused the outbreak. And, it was traced back to Taylor Farms. This isn't going to be solved as quickly though.

When you get this, make a virtual appointment to your PCP - a "same day sick" appointment. Tell them someone in your family just tested for this and was positive and was prescribed Bactrim. If you go in person, they're probably going to make you poop in a cup and wait until results come back to prescribe.

You'll know when you get this. Trust me on all of this.

You'll want to stay hydrated because this parasite damages the lining of the small intestine. Your small intestine, in turn, secretes more water into the gut, and less nutrients and liquid are able to remain in the body. So no matter how much you shit, you're going to want to drink. A day of this leads to dehydration if you don't increase your fluid intake, and a few days will land you in the hospital.

If you have headaches, weakness, muscle cramps, dizziness, or an increase heart rate - hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Go to the ER for fluids if you can't drink enough.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Brought to you by America's 250 birthday celebrations, workforce reduction in the FDA and CDC, and viewers like you.

Please feel free to share this.

And, MAGA - don't blow up the comment section. I argued with y'all on COVID bc I was afraid y'all would die, but I really don't care if you get explosive diarrhea.

Chapter 7 will be posted tomorrow! Chapter 6 left a lot of questions and Jiang Cheng is getting some answers. Unfortunately for him, none of them are good.

Want to catch up before the chapter is uploaded? You can read chapters 1 - 6 here!

“They didn’t want him,” Jiang Cheng said slowly. “They wanted what he owned.”

"Yes." The word felt final as his father said it. "He looked well, I thought. He didn't look unwell, do you think?"

Jiang Cheng exhaled sharply through his nose. "So this marriage-" "-secures the transfer," his mother finished for him.

His hands curled into fists without hesitation. He could feel the tickle of electricity buzzing around his knuckles. He could feel the voltage of the lights in the room as they rang with electric current. The lights in the room flickered.

Owed. Transfer. Owned.