fuck it

next time i decide to make such a big decision, i need to take longer than a month and a half to think about it. i'm an idiot. that's all that can be said about it. things don't change, and this is one hell of a bandaid.

ya but no. that shit is mine 😡

today is the fuckin daaaay. 5/13/16 ✨

i'm slippin, but you always catch me.

i don't know whether shits coming or going. everything is a blow up. everyone is mad. i need to learn to listen to my gut feeling, and not what the heart wants. don't know how many times we need to get burned before we realize... sorry you're mad, both of you. all three of you. you'll probably be more pissed off before this weekend ends. i'm not really sorry about that part. it should be expected of me. i'm damaged, after all. nothing like true friendship to point the spotlight on the flaws.

being sober is hard. all i envision are white lines and patron. i know neither will help. i know the heat of my lighter won't help either, it's just a bandaid, like all of my other habits. this song and dance is already getting so fucking tiring. nothing is ever a straight answer, but i should expect that from previous experience. two fucked up people do not make a perfect relationship. gonna have to work hard for it, but not yet. for now, i'm better off away. i need fresh air.