Baby Bump To Be

So I just looked back at last pregnancy and at this point I had only gained one pound last time. Haha! I’ve gained like 10 pounds already this time around. I don’t look like I have though, people are still telling me I don’t look pregnant and I’m so small still. (Insert eye roll here.) I see a bump and I’m glad I do. Just like last time, this is probably the only time in my life I want to hear people tell me how big I am but oh well.

What a pregnancy. I’m still here and still pregnant! I’m just also still really bad at posting on here. I’m so glad I posted a bit last pregnancy so I could look back on it so I’m hoping to be better this time in case there’s a 3rd and I want to compare again. Anyway some updates:

First of all, I think I felt a Braxton Hicks last night. I had to google it to see if that was even possible this early but apparently it is especially if you’ve already given birth before. It seems crazy with how little my little Baby B is.

Second, I’m so hungry today. I’m thankful the nausea passed but now I’m constantly hungry.

And feeling like crap. This nausea is awful, starts first thing in the morning and just doesn’t end.

We had our first appointment the other day and got to see the little baby heart beat! Even having experienced it before, it was so exciting to see it in there and watch the heart.

In all honesty I’m too tired and too sickly to focus on writing this. Final note: I need to remember to take bump pictures!

We’re taking a small break from ttc. Like two month break. Just to relax, keep things calm, and to be very honest, avoid a Holiday Season birthday. If we happen to get pregnant we won’t be upset but we won’t really be trying to. I still plan on paying athention to my cycle so I’ll still post since I want to stay on track for after our mini break.

On a personal note: I’m so glad I found therapy. I recently switched where I was going and I’m realizing how much I appreciate its existence. I’ve been so stuck in my head the past 24 hours and switching therapists is making me feel like I’m starting over and I hate that part of it but I can’t wait to get back into the routine of it and having someone to help me get out of my own mind for a minute. I can’t go back for two weeks because of schedule conflicts. If the rest of the weeks are anything like today was, I’ll be counting down the minutes til I can go again. I work alone so it can get really quiet and lonely and my thoughts can get really loud sometimes...

I’ve been very distant from here but I’d like to be better, even if it’s just for the sake of mini vents. I took a long vacation from work to relax and it worked but it also is leading to more stress haha. I’m trying to just hold on to what relief I had and not let the stress take back over but 8 weeks of no pay while also building a new garage wasn’t great planning. Hindsight.

Starting again! Here we go! The tww makes me feel so insane that by the time I get close to AF I start thinking, I better be pregnant because I don’t think I can survive the mental roller coaster of another tww. But this time, AF decided to be 3 days late so by the time she showed up I completely flipped and was thinking I just can’t wait for her to just get here already so I can just get moving forward instead of the stupid waiting game!