The thing about Danny is, he cannot separate love from pain. His parents love him, they love him so much they shoot at him with guns specially designed to kill him specifically. There's not a girl he loves that isn't mean to him, who doesn't want to kill some part of him for their own gain. His sister can't show him love without digging into his insecurities first. The city he fights to protect treats him like a criminal. Love is looking past the barrel of a gun and hoping the person on the other side will recognize you faster than they pull the trigger.
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For one reason or another, Danny's body got destroyed and is trapped as a ghost in the realms. His only anchor back to the human world is a latest model of the Fenton thermos that he was holding before his physical body got destroyed.
In order to regain and rebuild a body of his own from scratch, he needed to pull a Kitty, and slowly possess someone and take over thair body, mind, soul and everything (danny swear its temporary, hell return everything back once hes done!) To jumpstart rebuilding his old body back from ecto and his old remains.
Remains thats been shredded to pieces and scattered.
Somehow, the thermos fell at the hands of red robin who immedietely got enchanted with the clearly advance and very obvious magitech thats shape and acts like an actual thermos that could do a whole lot of things.
Its indestructable, unhackable, terrifyingly vesatile and can change color and design at the users input. Literally tech and magic combine.
Tim is obssessed.
…the enchanting properties of the object being Dannys anchor certainly speed up the process as well.
Starting that day, Tim couldn't be seen without that thermos in his person. It doesn't matter if he's in civillian or in his vigilate hours, the thermos stayed with him.
And the longer that tim has the thermos, the more it imprints and take over him. He's more Danny than Tim by the time somebody noticed. Which is too late since when they did decided that an intervention is needed, danny had completely merge and take over everything ahout tim and went on a sabbatical to rebuilt his body.
Using Tims skills, mind, talents, and dannys powers, it only took him a few days to collect all of his scattered remains and rebuit it from scratch which was also accelerated by one of tims cloning machines he had in one of his secret hide out.
once Danny got his body back and became a complete halfa again, he explain everything to Tim (who still disoriented after being unpossessed and regaining his sense of self) officially even though its unnecessary since tim knew everything the moment Danny take over everything but still, Danny owe the guy so he still did.
Danny got his body back but now he had more problems than before.
Which is A; the entire batfam and the jl with the JL Dark in tow is searching for Tim and wants to know what the fuck is hapoening, B; what he did is a massive dick move, even if it was his only choice, because overshadowing is one thing, you are just a passenger that hijacks control from someone while possession, which is what he did here, is literally OWNING a person and their everything.
Finally, C; Tim Drake in that short amount of time, got WAY into Danny possessing him.
Like literally obssessed about it.
Danny: Tim please, give back the thermos.
Tim: nu uh.
Danny: what do you mean "nu uh"?! Let it go, its not healthy for you! I knew it was my fault but give it up so we can fix you up too.
Tim looking like a cat with a canary with his mouth: Then take over. * wiggles eye brows suggestively*
Danny: Tim no.
Tim being over the top and doubling down: *rips shirt off and spread his arms wide on both sides* T A K E M E E E
He didn't really know what the cause of his brokenness was, just that he clearly and obviously was. Even before he died, he couldn't see color.
Unlike Jazz, whose soulmates began with their parents and continued to appear into her life and then stay in her life, Danny appeared to be soulmateless if it weren't for the fact that he still couldn't see color. Jazz, and everyone else in Amity, had the full rainbow and then some available to her before she even made it to middle school.
Jazz's soulmates were an easy and short list. Mom, Dad, her friend Kyle Weston, and her friend Spike. She had met Kyle in kindergarten, and Spike in third grade. All of her soulmates were platonic and familial, though there was still a chance that she was seeing darker shades of colors than they're supposed to be - it was more common than not for a romantic soulmate to brighten up the world that someone could already see.
Danny was in high school. And all he saw was grey, grey, and more grey. Occasionally, he could even tell that he was looking at black. It was unusual. He was broken. What else was he supposed to understand from that?
"Maybe your soulmates are somewhere else? Like, your soulmates are all French or something," Tucker suggested, offhand.
"Maybe," Danny pretended to agree. Frankly, though, he wasn't holding out hope.
He was already dead, after all.
If someone's soulmate passed, they just lost the ability to see whatever colors their soulmate had given them. Danny doubted that him being dead before meeting his soulmates would affect that specific phenomenon in any meaningful way. He would just never know.
So why the hell could he suddenly see this- this- this beautiful color after meeting some dude? He didn't seem to have noticed the change of colors, rushing off with a bright apology for running into Danny, as Danny's whole world flipped on its side. He- he had no clue how to find that person again. What was he supposed to do now?
Maybe... maybe start with googling what this color is.
Blue. Blue was the color of the sky, of oceans, of brightly colored birds and butterflies. It was so beautiful. Danny's eyes were blue! Danny decided just then that blue was his favorite color.
Who knew he'd finally find a soulmate after moving to Gotham? Maybe, just maybe, he'd find his other soulmates here too.
He shook his head; Danny knew better than to hope. Danny was dead. He can't have soulmates, now. Even if Danny could now see colors- or, well, one color, that didn't mean whoever was connected to him could also see their missing color(s). So even if Danny was connected to them, they... probably weren't connected to him.
...
"Sorry, Jay, I got held up at wor-" Dick trailed off, looking at his little brother's eyes.
They weren't that green before. He knows they weren't; after meeting Damian, Dick could see green. They could all see green after meeting Damian. Jason and Damian's eyes were both an olive green, only a slight shade difference between them, everyone in the family agreed. Not... not this neon bright green.
Jason's gaze snapped to Dick from where he'd been glaring at someone across the diner, and the brightness dulled. It didn't go away, but calmed down. No longer seemed like it was lighting Jason's face up. "What?"
"I..." Dick paused, mind racing. If Jason didn't know why Dick was staring at him, then nothing new has happened on his end. That means... "I think I ran into another soulmate."
…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.Â
Alfred: Timothy Jackson Drake.
Tim: Full name....omg, am I going to die?
Dick: It was nice knowing you Timmy.
Damian: Don't lie to a dead man walking, Richard. Timothy, your existence in our lives was ambivalent at best.
Tim:Â Thank you for your honesty, Dami. It's a comfort in my final moments.
Alfred: Stop being so dramatic; you won't die today. I'm not mad; I'm disappointed in you.
Tim wince: That's far worse. What did I do?
Alfred: It's more like what you didn't do. Why is it that every morning, you do not find the five minutes it takes to make your bed?
Tim: *confused* What do you mean?
Alfred:Â Your bedroom is usually spotless, but you never fix your blankets or your pillows, and it makes everything look awful. I have tried to ignore it, in the hope that you will learn some responsibility, but I can no longer stand it.
Tim: But I've never done my bed. It's always been done for me.
Alfred: Whatever servants you had at Drake Manor are not here-
Tim: I never had servants. It was just my parents, and most of the time, they weren't even in the country. I mean, the housekeeper came by every three days or so, but she never went into my room.
Alfred:Â Wait, if you didn't make your bed and there were no servants to make it, then how was it done?
Tim:Â It made itself, duh.
Dick: Would you like to expand on that answer for the class, Timmy?
Tim: Come on Dick you know what I mean. The sheets move on their own and tuck themselves in, or the pillows constantly rearrange themselves. Sometimes, on a cold night, the blankets will emerge from the closet and wrap around you. Every day, bedroom stuff.
Dick:
Damian: Timothy, I believe you were being haunted as a child.
Tim: What?
Alfred: Did anyhing else stop happening when you moved out of your old home?
Tim snapping his fingers: Now that you mention it, nothing whispers in my ears anymore.
Dick: You were hearing whispers!?
Tim: It was mostly gibbersish and hisses so I always ingored it. The ghost should have learn to not mutter.
Danny, reading their lips from the Drake Manor window using binoculars:Â Well, excuse me for having a speaking impediment.
This is how Tim learns how much work Alfred does, because what do you mean the dishes don’t clean themselves and the beds don’t make themselves. The house doesn’t dust itself or open the windows. Alfred was doing all of this???? if he’s this busy, why is he still cooking too? What do you mean food doesn’t appear when you mention you’re hungry????
Jason is laughing, so is Dick. Damian wants to know how he failed to kill a man who thinks houses are sentient.
Bruce is making a PowerPoint titled “Things That DONT Move on Their Own”
…and a second one explaining the difference between the automated coffee maker and lights and coffee pouring itself into your cup via floating across the room.
Honestly, you’d think a man that works with as many gadgets as Tim would question where the wires are.
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A drag path, etched in the surface, as evidence I left there on purpose - DPXDC Au
i have an idea for a new batdad au.
i have an idea for a general oneshot but the gist is, after having a rough day--between school, getting another detention thanks to Dash, ghost fights, having an argument with his parents about his misbehavior that morning, and getting into a small argument with his friends-- Danny, after a ghost fight, picks a random direction and just flies. And he flies as fast as he can, burning off a bunch of ectoplasm and healing himself from his fight as a result.
But he eventually ends up in Gotham. Pretty standard premise. But he doesn't really do anything. He just picks a random rooftop to detransform and sit on. And he sits there, taking in the sights of the city and vaguely dissociating for a few hours before feeling like he's finally calmed down enough to return to Amity. He turns the location off on his phone before shutting it down, that way he doesn't have to deal with texts and calls from his parents about missing curfew. He's already going to be in trouble, so it doesn't matter how long he stays out for.
And at first he thinks it's just a one-and-done deal. He probably won't ever return to that rooftop ever again. Until he does,,,, about a month later. This time after a particularly nasty dealing with Vlad in his civilian life. He didn't feel like there was anywhere safe enough for him to go in Amity, so despite himself, he decided to dip after a few hours.
It becomes a pattern. Until eventually Danny's sitting on that rooftop at least once a week. Trying to find a slice of peace in America's most dangerous city. He has a lot of thoughts about Gotham, many of them reflective, and many of them comparative to Amity. He tries not to do it too often, especially once he catches himself feeling bitter once or twice.
And then he meets Batman.
Their first meeting is brief, inconsequential, and lasts no more than probably five minutes. Danny had never heard of the Batman prior to this, and so after meeting him,, he's kind of hyped. He leaves the man to his city, and doesn't really plan on seeking him out, but it doesn't stop him from feeling a sense of solidarity with him.
There are a few more run-ins with Batman after this. Sporadic and random, but they happen. Until eventually--Danny guesses that Batman figured out he had a pattern--Batman starts showing up often to this spot Danny's carved out for his own. Danny allows him. He knows he's encroaching on Bat's territory, and he views it as them existing in parallel to each other.
Danny's first proper conversation with Batman--the first one that lasts longer than a minute and consists more of short, awkward answers from Danny and curt responses from Batman--is when Danny, city-watching and lost in thought, tells him that he thinks Gotham is pretty.
Batman turns and looks at him, and goes: "...You do?"
Danny stumbles through an explanation after that, and somehow the conversation keeps going. And keeps going. And keeps going.
They don't always talk, and Batman doesn't always stick around for long, but Danny likes the little bouts of camaraderie they have. It reminds him of passing some of his classmates in the hallway, and they nod in greeting at each other. Sometimes, Batman lands on the roof, and then disappears a few seconds later. Danny thinks he might be checking on him.
Something interesting starts happening sometime after this. Usually, if Danny is flying to Gotham after a ghost fight, his injuries heal on the way there. Something about the rate he's burning ectoplasm that exacerbates his healing. Like cauterizing a wound.
That's been faltering lately. Danny doesn't know what's wrong. It started with a twinge in his shoulder that should've disappeared after a fight with Skulker, but lingered all the way to Gotham and up until Danny had to fly back to Amity. When he got back to his bedroom, it healed.
In any case, he didn't pay it too much to mind -- his little bumps and bruises were easy enough to hide from Batman. And they healed before he got home.
And then he shows up on their shared rooftop with a shiner that refused to heal, even when Danny tries to force it, nothing changes. It only forcibly reminds Danny that he doesn't have as much finesse over his powers as he wished he did.
He's frustrated and hurt, and on top of that, his ribs smart from a hit he took point blank. Deep breaths hurt. He pushes himself against the HVAC that's not up to code, throws up his hood, and curls into a ball.
This isn't something he can hide from Batman. A fleeting thought hits him to just leave so he doesn't have to explain himself if the man decides to stick around.
He doesn't.
And Batman, much to Danny's brief, insincere consternation, sticks around. He notices immediately that something is wrong. Danny keeps his head buried in his knees and tries to deflect.
It doesn't work.
Normally, Danny is very good at getting people to get off his back. Just be a bit prickly, a bit snappish, throw in some sarcasm, and they back off with a scoff, or they decide to scold him for that instead of pursuing their original reason for bothering him.
Unfortunately--Danny should've seen this coming, considering Batman's occupation--Batman sees right through him. He sticks around, verbally prodding at him, and when Danny snaps at him, he falls silent and just. waits. And perches patiently from a distance away. Which stings in a cathartic way.
Danny's resolve crumbles in minutes. Eventually, he silently turns his head and rests his cheek on his knee. He doesn't say anything, just hopes that maybe the light pollution in the city is bright enough to show off the bruise circling around his eye. Or it isn't bright enough, and hides it.
Batman is quiet for a beat. Then calmly and flatly asks who hit him. Danny stays stubbornly silent, and refuses to meet his eyes. When it becomes apparent he won't respond, Batman stares, and then reaches for a pocket on his utility belt.
He pulls out an icepack, and holds it out to Danny.
Danny is flabbergasted.
And then feels immediately fragile for reasons he can't articulate or understand.
Quietly, he takes it, and mutters "thank you". It's the kindest thing he's said all night.
Batman nods, and when he has to leave, it's with great reluctance.
This keeps happening. Danny shows up occasionally injured, mostly bruised and scratched up, thankfully. Batman appears, and notices, and quietly prods. Danny sometimes throws out an excuse--he fell, he tripped, he made some other clumsy mistake--and Batman doesn't believe him, but he doesn't pry. He quietly hands off to him something that could help. A bandaid or an icepack. Or just his quiet company.
The bruises increase; Batman gets just a little bit tenser each time. And then it plateaus.
And then it comes to a head after a nasty, ugly fight with Plasmius that included his favorite physical pastime: strangulation. Danny books it to Gotham the moment he thinks the coast is clear, and is furious upon landing to find that the bruising refuses to heal.
He's not fast enough to leave before Batman shows up, seemingly having pinpointed the time of Danny's arrivals by now. He whirls around on his foot when he hears him landing, and isn't fast enough to slam his hand over his throat and duck before Batman sees it.
And Batman sees it.
And Batman is very calm, and very furious when he says; "Who did that?"
Danny, despite his flawless deflections all the other times, falters and panics. Caught off guard by his arrival and already running on adrenaline, he stammers out an inconsistent slurry of excuses.
"Nobody. Nobody! It was nobody-- just my, just my uncle--" Danny's eye twitches in panic, "Just- nobody. Nobody important. Nobody did anything."
It's too late to take back anything.
"Your uncle?"
Danny refuses eye contact, staring off over the edge of the roof widely, "No! No-- nobody. Nothing. Nothing happened." His ruined voice says otherwise.
"Is he the one that's been hurting you?" Batman sounds very resolute as he says this.
Danny isn't quite sure how he managed to get out of that conversation-- it ends up being a total blur--but he does know that he gets out of it with his secret identity intact.
He doesn't return back to Gotham for almost a month; he regrets it every time he misses the days he goes and visits. The passing time presses down on him. He feels increasingly flighty and on edge; his temper shorter.
When he returns, Batman is waiting for him already. He doesn't say anything, and for a -- disappointing? -- moment, Danny thinks they're just not going to acknowledge Danny's freakout the last time he was there.
But.
Batman is waiting for him.
And with a burner phone for him.
There's only one number on it: his own.
He doesn't need to say anything for Danny to catch his meaning, or what his intentions are.
Danny stares at it dumbly for who knows how long, his eyes stinging suspiciously, before he looks up at Batman. He's gawking.
The first thing out of his mouth: "Are you sure?" it's croaky.
Batman grunts affirmatively at him. Holds it out closer to him: "For emergencies."
"You don't have to do this." Danny says, but he's reaching out for the phone anyways, snatching it out of Batman's hands, and cradling it preciously to himself. He's so cognizant of his hand and the weight of the phone against it.
Batman says nothing; it means everything to Danny.
"And you're sure?" He repeats, and sniffs conspicuously. He hates how fragile his voice sounds. He knows how monumental this is, not just to Danny, but to Batman as well. That solidarity in heroism coming back to bite him as Danny knows, intimately, how important it is to allow someone access to you personally. "You-- you're sure? You're sure." He sounds like a broken record.
Batman nods curtly.
Danny's vision wobbles. His next words come out in a broken, horrifically fragile, barely-there whisper: "What if- what if I just, just want to talk? Uh-- text. N' it's not an emergency."
Batman thinks for a moment. "…You can do that," he says after a beat, "Call if its an emergency."
"Really?" Danny doesn't know why it hurts so much to say that. He sounds pathetically squeaky.
"Yes."
Batman is a man of few words; Danny quite likes that about him. He's surprised by it himself.
The dam ends up breaking; Danny's tears spill over and his shoulders convulse. When he cries, it's entirely silent, he doesn't want to draw attention to himself. He makes short, choked-off breathing sounds, and begins to curl into himself. He's not sure why he's reacting this way; it's just a phone.
He still ends up tilting in towards Batman, and collapsing into him. Batman catches him, and sinks them both to the ground, and lets Danny smear tears into the armor plating of his suit.
-----
I dug my heels into the gravel
As evidence for you to unravel
A drag path etched in the surface
Can you find me?
Danny's horribly embarrassed about crying over a single phone.
He can't remember the last time he ever cried like that, or when he last cried in general. It's just not something he does. Get teary-eyed? Sure, but nothing ever enough to break seal and fall down his face. Nevertheless actually sobbing.
He's mortified later, when he's come down from the emotional high long enough to realize and care what happened, and pointedly pretends it didn't happen when he makes it back to Amity.
Danny didn't have a breakdown over a phone of all things. He most certainly didn't sob into the armor plating of another hero from a city nearly a thousand miles away. And he most definitely get tears and snot on Batman.
It didn't happen. It's too humiliating.
In any case. The first thing he does upon getting back to his room--it's well past midnight and he can feel his shoulders already burning from the disappointed stares from Mom and Dad boring into him--is check for cameras.
He doesn't know when they started showing up, but he bets it was when Vlad started visiting more often under the guise of "reconnecting" with Dad.
Danny only realized they were there nearly two months after the fact.
He tries not to think about it too hard, otherwise he gets incurably nauseous.
(There's always no less than three in his room when he goes looking. He's never found one in Jazz's. He doesn't know if he should feel relieved or not; regardless, he wants to peel his own skin off.)
He doesn't find any from when he last checked (this afternoon after school). Only then does he pull his burner out-- and still he hunches around it, trying to keep it out of sight, and marvels.
It's inconspicuously black and simple.
Danny spends thirty minutes messing with the ringtone, then spends another thirty coming up with a new contact name for Batman that isn't his hero moniker. It's one of those rare moments of awareness he has, remembering that cause has an effect.
(He has a premonition over texting Batman--because Batman said he could, and Danny might take him up on that--and someone; Dash, his friends, Jazz, his parents, Mr. Lancer--anybody--looking over his shoulder, seeing the contact name, and questioning him.)
He ends up going with 'Buzz' after his favorite astronaut.
(He can't explain why he's texting someone over burner rather than his regular phone, but at least he won't have to explain why the name is Batman.)
He considers sending a message. Something to check and see if the number Batman gave him was actually his--a part of him thinks he's been punk'd--or (more irrationally) see if the connection would still hold even this far from Gotham. Or, perhaps, to just tell Batman he made it home safe.
All options sound terribly unappealing, Danny's lingering mortification over his reaction to getting said phone clinging to him like a leech. He shuts the ideas down.
Batman wouldn't punk him, he's not like that. Flip phones don't need wifi, they need cellular connection. Amity Park has plenty and so does Gotham. The connection is just fine. Finally; Batman is on patrol (something Danny should be doing; there might be a ghost that snuck through the portal despite him checking before he left that it was off) he's too busy for Danny to be bothering him right now with unimportant updates.
With that being said; Danny shuts the phone with a satisfying clack and collapses into bed.
(He's back up again about two hours later, his ghost sense going off like a bucket of ice water being dumped on his head. He hates it when that happens, his nerves are always immediately shot.)
His first message is the following morning. Danny agonizes over it for ages in his room, stuck between needing to leave for school before he's late, and needing to sate his own anxiety over his phone.
The end result, as normal, is Danny approaching it the same way he approaches every uncomfortable thing: jokingly.
>> "hey houston do you copy?"
(It takes him five minutes to hit send. He plans on shoving his phone into his pocket and ignoring it immediately after.)
It takes thirty seconds for Batman to respond.
>> "Yes."
Danny startles. And then his surprise alights into glee, like a spark against gunpowder, that he promptly tries to keep contained. It's not normal to be this happy about a reply. It's not a big deal. The feeling burns in the back of his throat; Danny presses his lips together in order to stifle the smile.
He leaves his room and starts heading downstairs.
>> "just checking to see if the phone works"
>> "didn't expect you to respond so fast"
>> "thought you'd be sleeping or smth. arent bats nocturnal?"
>> "Yes."
>> "I am not."
Batman is a terrible texter. Danny had no expectations of how he'd text, and yet it's exactly what he thought it'd be.
He's irrationally delighted by it.
That smile he's been trying to hide slips out and spreads across his face. It's like Danny can hear him talking, it's a bit dizzying how excited that makes him.
It's a bit unreal that he's actually texting Batman.
How crazy is that?
He hurries down the stairs, grinning from ear to ear.
>> "cool cool"
And runs into his parents in the kitchen.
The smile immediately fizzles out, the lighthearted, fluffy feeling in his chest dropping like a stone in a pond. Danny closes his phone before he can even think about it, curling his hand inwards to his chest the same way he does when he's trying to hide the screen of his other phone. The same one that's in his back pocket and hasn't been touched since his alarm went off.
"Where did you go last night?" Mom asks, mouth curled into a deep frown. "You left your phone in your room again."
Dread replaces the happy lump in his throat, and his lungs turn hollow and cold.
(He started leaving his phone at home sometime after his trips to Gotham became commonplace. Both to avoid uncomfortable questions if his parents checked his location, and then because it felt nice to be untraceable.)
Feeling like one of those little lumps of plastic that shrivel under high heat, Danny's shoulders hunch up.
Crap.
He averts his eyes and seals his mouth shut.
"Daniel James." Dad goes, his voice outside of its usual loud bluster. Danny inwardly slumps. "We thought you stopped doing this."
A drag path, etched in the surface, as evidence I left there on purpose - DPXDC Au
i have an idea for a new batdad au.
i have an idea for a general oneshot but the gist is, after having a rough day--between school, getting another detention thanks to Dash, ghost fights, having an argument with his parents about his misbehavior that morning, and getting into a small argument with his friends-- Danny, after a ghost fight, picks a random direction and just flies. And he flies as fast as he can, burning off a bunch of ectoplasm and healing himself from his fight as a result.
But he eventually ends up in Gotham. Pretty standard premise. But he doesn't really do anything. He just picks a random rooftop to detransform and sit on. And he sits there, taking in the sights of the city and vaguely dissociating for a few hours before feeling like he's finally calmed down enough to return to Amity. He turns the location off on his phone before shutting it down, that way he doesn't have to deal with texts and calls from his parents about missing curfew. He's already going to be in trouble, so it doesn't matter how long he stays out for.
And at first he thinks it's just a one-and-done deal. He probably won't ever return to that rooftop ever again. Until he does,,,, about a month later. This time after a particularly nasty dealing with Vlad in his civilian life. He didn't feel like there was anywhere safe enough for him to go in Amity, so despite himself, he decided to dip after a few hours.
It becomes a pattern. Until eventually Danny's sitting on that rooftop at least once a week. Trying to find a slice of peace in America's most dangerous city. He has a lot of thoughts about Gotham, many of them reflective, and many of them comparative to Amity. He tries not to do it too often, especially once he catches himself feeling bitter once or twice.
And then he meets Batman.
Their first meeting is brief, inconsequential, and lasts no more than probably five minutes. Danny had never heard of the Batman prior to this, and so after meeting him,, he's kind of hyped. He leaves the man to his city, and doesn't really plan on seeking him out, but it doesn't stop him from feeling a sense of solidarity with him.
There are a few more run-ins with Batman after this. Sporadic and random, but they happen. Until eventually--Danny guesses that Batman figured out he had a pattern--Batman starts showing up often to this spot Danny's carved out for his own. Danny allows him. He knows he's encroaching on Bat's territory, and he views it as them existing in parallel to each other.
Danny's first proper conversation with Batman--the first one that lasts longer than a minute and consists more of short, awkward answers from Danny and curt responses from Batman--is when Danny, city-watching and lost in thought, tells him that he thinks Gotham is pretty.
Batman turns and looks at him, and goes: "...You do?"
Danny stumbles through an explanation after that, and somehow the conversation keeps going. And keeps going. And keeps going.
They don't always talk, and Batman doesn't always stick around for long, but Danny likes the little bouts of camaraderie they have. It reminds him of passing some of his classmates in the hallway, and they nod in greeting at each other. Sometimes, Batman lands on the roof, and then disappears a few seconds later. Danny thinks he might be checking on him.
Something interesting starts happening sometime after this. Usually, if Danny is flying to Gotham after a ghost fight, his injuries heal on the way there. Something about the rate he's burning ectoplasm that exacerbates his healing. Like cauterizing a wound.
That's been faltering lately. Danny doesn't know what's wrong. It started with a twinge in his shoulder that should've disappeared after a fight with Skulker, but lingered all the way to Gotham and up until Danny had to fly back to Amity. When he got back to his bedroom, it healed.
In any case, he didn't pay it too much to mind -- his little bumps and bruises were easy enough to hide from Batman. And they healed before he got home.
And then he shows up on their shared rooftop with a shiner that refused to heal, even when Danny tries to force it, nothing changes. It only forcibly reminds Danny that he doesn't have as much finesse over his powers as he wished he did.
He's frustrated and hurt, and on top of that, his ribs smart from a hit he took point blank. Deep breaths hurt. He pushes himself against the HVAC that's not up to code, throws up his hood, and curls into a ball.
This isn't something he can hide from Batman. A fleeting thought hits him to just leave so he doesn't have to explain himself if the man decides to stick around.
He doesn't.
And Batman, much to Danny's brief, insincere consternation, sticks around. He notices immediately that something is wrong. Danny keeps his head buried in his knees and tries to deflect.
It doesn't work.
Normally, Danny is very good at getting people to get off his back. Just be a bit prickly, a bit snappish, throw in some sarcasm, and they back off with a scoff, or they decide to scold him for that instead of pursuing their original reason for bothering him.
Unfortunately--Danny should've seen this coming, considering Batman's occupation--Batman sees right through him. He sticks around, verbally prodding at him, and when Danny snaps at him, he falls silent and just. waits. And perches patiently from a distance away. Which stings in a cathartic way.
Danny's resolve crumbles in minutes. Eventually, he silently turns his head and rests his cheek on his knee. He doesn't say anything, just hopes that maybe the light pollution in the city is bright enough to show off the bruise circling around his eye. Or it isn't bright enough, and hides it.
Batman is quiet for a beat. Then calmly and flatly asks who hit him. Danny stays stubbornly silent, and refuses to meet his eyes. When it becomes apparent he won't respond, Batman stares, and then reaches for a pocket on his utility belt.
He pulls out an icepack, and holds it out to Danny.
Danny is flabbergasted.
And then feels immediately fragile for reasons he can't articulate or understand.
Quietly, he takes it, and mutters "thank you". It's the kindest thing he's said all night.
Batman nods, and when he has to leave, it's with great reluctance.
This keeps happening. Danny shows up occasionally injured, mostly bruised and scratched up, thankfully. Batman appears, and notices, and quietly prods. Danny sometimes throws out an excuse--he fell, he tripped, he made some other clumsy mistake--and Batman doesn't believe him, but he doesn't pry. He quietly hands off to him something that could help. A bandaid or an icepack. Or just his quiet company.
The bruises increase; Batman gets just a little bit tenser each time. And then it plateaus.
And then it comes to a head after a nasty, ugly fight with Plasmius that included his favorite physical pastime: strangulation. Danny books it to Gotham the moment he thinks the coast is clear, and is furious upon landing to find that the bruising refuses to heal.
He's not fast enough to leave before Batman shows up, seemingly having pinpointed the time of Danny's arrivals by now. He whirls around on his foot when he hears him landing, and isn't fast enough to slam his hand over his throat and duck before Batman sees it.
And Batman sees it.
And Batman is very calm, and very furious when he says; "Who did that?"
Danny, despite his flawless deflections all the other times, falters and panics. Caught off guard by his arrival and already running on adrenaline, he stammers out an inconsistent slurry of excuses.
"Nobody. Nobody! It was nobody-- just my, just my uncle--" Danny's eye twitches in panic, "Just- nobody. Nobody important. Nobody did anything."
It's too late to take back anything.
"Your uncle?"
Danny refuses eye contact, staring off over the edge of the roof widely, "No! No-- nobody. Nothing. Nothing happened." His ruined voice says otherwise.
"Is he the one that's been hurting you?" Batman sounds very resolute as he says this.
Danny isn't quite sure how he managed to get out of that conversation-- it ends up being a total blur--but he does know that he gets out of it with his secret identity intact.
He doesn't return back to Gotham for almost a month; he regrets it every time he misses the days he goes and visits. The passing time presses down on him. He feels increasingly flighty and on edge; his temper shorter.
When he returns, Batman is waiting for him already. He doesn't say anything, and for a -- disappointing? -- moment, Danny thinks they're just not going to acknowledge Danny's freakout the last time he was there.
But.
Batman is waiting for him.
And with a burner phone for him.
There's only one number on it: his own.
He doesn't need to say anything for Danny to catch his meaning, or what his intentions are.
Danny stares at it dumbly for who knows how long, his eyes stinging suspiciously, before he looks up at Batman. He's gawking.
The first thing out of his mouth: "Are you sure?" it's croaky.
Batman grunts affirmatively at him. Holds it out closer to him: "For emergencies."
"You don't have to do this." Danny says, but he's reaching out for the phone anyways, snatching it out of Batman's hands, and cradling it preciously to himself. He's so cognizant of his hand and the weight of the phone against it.
Batman says nothing; it means everything to Danny.
"And you're sure?" He repeats, and sniffs conspicuously. He hates how fragile his voice sounds. He knows how monumental this is, not just to Danny, but to Batman as well. That solidarity in heroism coming back to bite him as Danny knows, intimately, how important it is to allow someone access to you personally. "You-- you're sure? You're sure." He sounds like a broken record.
Batman nods curtly.
Danny's vision wobbles. His next words come out in a broken, horrifically fragile, barely-there whisper: "What if- what if I just, just want to talk? Uh-- text. N' it's not an emergency."
Batman thinks for a moment. "…You can do that," he says after a beat, "Call if its an emergency."
"Really?" Danny doesn't know why it hurts so much to say that. He sounds pathetically squeaky.
"Yes."
Batman is a man of few words; Danny quite likes that about him. He's surprised by it himself.
The dam ends up breaking; Danny's tears spill over and his shoulders convulse. When he cries, it's entirely silent, he doesn't want to draw attention to himself. He makes short, choked-off breathing sounds, and begins to curl into himself. He's not sure why he's reacting this way; it's just a phone.
He still ends up tilting in towards Batman, and collapsing into him. Batman catches him, and sinks them both to the ground, and lets Danny smear tears into the armor plating of his suit.
-----
I dug my heels into the gravel
As evidence for you to unravel
A drag path etched in the surface
Can you find me?
Basically, Danny convinces everyone that he's a minor god. Which wouldn't have been so weird, had it been while he was a glowing ghost boy able to copy and develop a variety of powers.
Instead, this happens while he's Danny "Not-Able-to-Pass-the-Presidential-Fitness-Test" Fenton. He wants to claim it was a well-thought-out plan, but in reality, it just happened to look that way.
See, Danny's parents were getting awfully suspicious that he would set off so many of their ghost detectors. One or two, maybe, but every single one? That was odd.
Yet still they had been more willing to dismiss his readings, but when Jazz accidentally set it off, they were quick to assume she was a ghost. At the time, Danny had concluded that Jazz's personality made her stand out from the family, which, in their minds, made it more believable that she was not entirely human.
He never questions it too much, happy to side-step their suspicion with flimsy excuses. Danny will admit that he also believed his parents were not the brightest crayons in the crayon box, though he does that quietly and only to his most trusted of friends.
Turns out, it was because his parents already took into consideration that Danny wasn't entirely human to begin with. When Danny turned fifteen, his parents came into his room, one late Friday night, and sat him down to drop a bomb on him.
"I'm adopted?" Danny repeats, dazed, as his mother holds his hand. His dad rubs his shoulder, offering comfort. He never would have thought for one minute that he wasn't their son by blood. Jack and Maddie Fenton never treated him any different form Jazz, never even implied it.
"In a way." Maddie winces.
"What do you mean?"
"Maddie wasn't always convinced of ghosts," Jack admits. He offers his wife a small smile when she bashfully tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Danny knows she only does that when she feels embarrassed about being wrong. "Before meeting me, she had been studying for medical engineering, and switched over to my field after joining Vlad and me in a field project."
"In all honesty, I only agreed to go to the field research because I had a crush on Jack and just wanted to spend time with him. I didn't actually think his research had any merit." Maddie admits, and suddenly Danny realizes why everyone on her side of the family grumbles about Jack ruining her future.
Honestly, he would have thought the same if that had happened to his sister or daughter, even though Danny spent nearly every family reunion fighting to defend his father's honor.
"We went to an area that was said to have a strong connection with the afterlife. It was the location of an old cult that got busted and broken apart by the FBI." Maddie continued blissfully unaware of her son's thoughts. "As you know, ghosts heavily overlapped with the occult. When we got there, I found the secret shrine by accident while leaning against a wall. Inside, Jack claimed he knew what the runes surrounding the shrine meant and did since his family was witch hunters, and he accidentally started the ritual when he stepped on them to get a closer view."
"What was the ritual?"
Jack sighs. "It was meant to offer a sacrifice. I think the cultist did it backwards, so instead of us offering a sacrifice, it gave us a sacrifice. It took the blood from a small cut I had on a rock and...you formed."
Danny stares, waiting for them to repeat themselves. They stare back for a moment, then slowly he asks. "I'm younger than Jazz, though? How could I have formed before she was born?"
Maddie makes a small noise. "You formed into a newborn baby, literally grew from the drop of blood, just floating in the air, then vanished into a green portal not even ten seconds later. It all happened so fast, I wasn't even sure it was real. Thankfully, we had a recording of the event on our surveillance cameras, which were strapped to our heads. Once we realized that we had really created a life from the ritual, we attempted to rebuild the portal to get you back. Our first prototype caused Vlad's accident, and we gave up on it until a few years later. You popped out again, and this time we kept you."
"So....I'm not human?"
"Based on all the tests we had done, you are. We even checked for a meta-gene, but... nothing. Until recently, we never brought it up because we thought you were our little miracle....until SuperBoy announced that some Kryptonians don't develop full powers until puberty, and we realized that you....have been off since you turned fourteen. We realized you finally hit puberty."
"Well, I wouldn't say finally, but okay...."
Jack sighs, taking a seat on Danny's other side. His large frame nearly crushed Danny, but oddly, it was a comfort, and he found himself leaning into his father's side. "Danny, despite you froming form my blood, you don't have my DNA in you. Or Maddie's or Vladdie's. You're....a human of an unknown donor- we suspected the cultests but the police wouldn't let us get samples from them. That was our theory for the longest time, but son, we know you've been finding changes in your body that aren't exactly human."
Danny bit his tongue, wishing that he was brave enough to mention Phantom. Instead, he shrugs, "I haven't felt that different."
"Nothing at all?" Maddie probs "You know you can tell us. We love you anyway."
"Well, sometimes I-" Dannt starts feeling both of the adults leaning closer, and for a minute, he thinks he might actually do it, but at the last second, he chickens out and blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind: "Sometimes I know things are going to happen before they happen."
"Like what, honey?"
"Natural disasters. Bad luck. Attacks," Danny lists, trying to think of how his ghost adversaries fit into modern life. Technically, they weren't lies, so his parents had no reason to call him out on it. "I see them in my dreams."
"You can see the future." Jack mutters, "That actually does make sense. The shrine was meant to have one of the members become an oracle, trading thier eye sight for it."
Huh. How convenient, thank you, crazy mountain cult people. Danny thinks, nodding his head like he knew Jack would say that.
"If you develop any more powers or any new changes, you can tell us. Okay, honey?" Maddie mutters, pulling him into a hug.
"Okay."
And that was that. His parents gave him more reassurances that they loved him no matter what; his mother smoothed his face with kisses, and his father crushed his bones with a bear hug. But eventually they brought him his favorite takeout and left him alone in his room to play more video games.
Danny would have forgotten all about it, happy that his secret ghost side remained as such, had he remembered to shut off his live stream when his parents came in. The thing is, Danny never had any views and was so used to it running in case Tucker had time to join that he never checked it.
Thus, he missed the moment a little boy from a certain farm clicked in to watch him play and overheard everything. He also missed the boy logging out to call a certain best friend in Gotham, whose father had a cave filled to the brim with means to track Danny down.
A couple of months passed, and his daily life remained mostly the same, but every once in a while, his parents would ask about any recent predictions.
Jazz was skeptical about his powers, even with her knowledge of Phantom, so to spite her, Danny made random things up that came true every two days after he announced them.
He found himself giggling at the luck that his random predictions were true, sure that at some point they would fail. The Fentons always got the latest predictions at the breakfast table, treating it the same way they would Danny, updating them on school or a new video game he bought.
None of them were aware of the many bugs placed around their home, recording audio from a certain group of Bat theme individuals who had installed them one day, when all the Fentons were away. And thus, what Danny considered small white lies made offhandedly, that group carefully recorded and investigated each one as if it were a warning to come.
They found that a majority of the predictions weren't just prewarning; they almost seemed to appear from thin air the moment Fenton spoke them. In fact, based on a certain bo staff wielder's calculations, it seemed like Fenton was pulling them from alternative universes, shifting the time in this one to create small rifts.
Convinced he was doing it on purpose, the youngest boy and his farmer best friend set out on a small mission to steal some DNA, getting close and "accidentally" spilling the boy's smoothie while playing catch in the local park.
Fenton had been very understanding when the two children apologized profusely, offering to buy him a replacement and to clean up the cup. They placed the said cup and straw in a ziplock bag, promising to throw it away later when they got closer to the trash bins. He also didn't seem to mind when the clumsy of the two got his bracelet stuck in Fenton's hair after attempting to offer him candy from his pocket, even though Fenton was sitting down on a blanket with his two friends.
After running numerous tests, the group was surprised to find that Fenton came back as a regular human. Deciding it wasn't possible, they reached out to their coworkers who had access to a database of multiple planets and their people, with a growing green law infurcers and an island connected to gods.
Shockingly, Fenton matched with the island instead of the multiple plants.
Fenton was a minor god, raised as a human who carelessly bent reality to his will.
This investigation concluded with Danny Fenton getting a target painted on his back by Earth's many protectors, casually watching him from afar. This also meant that, at one point, a leak occurred when Wes Weasley noticed Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman casually having a burger at Nasty Burger, but no one believed him.
So he did what any other teenager does.
He went online to vent. His post was picked up by a certain cult survivor who thought that this was the sign to come back after nearly twenty years of silence, and he went around rebuilding the following that once worked to have their god get a physical form.
Thus, by the time Danny Fenton is sixteen, he is interrupted during a regular shopping trip by a large group of people wearing white and black robes appearing out of nowhere and bowing before him, praising his name. Before he has time to even think beyond assuming this was a weird prank, he is thrown into a van and taken away to a mansion built in his honor.
Danny is freaking out about it until Batman, Red Robin, and Nightwing are able to infiltrate the mansion that same night and get him out. They are oddly respectful and somewhat unsure of how to speak to him, which is why Danny realizes they honestly believe him to be a minor god.
This is the moment he finds out that for the past year, the Justice League assumed he was a minor god, and that all his little white lies were affecting reality. No matter how many times he tried to correct this error, no one really believed him, because they all assumed he was just pretending to be human.
Or, in Wonder Woman's case, assumed he was a new god and was just getting his footing in his domain.
They gave him offerings. Ask for his prayers. Requested that he avoid blood sacrifices or ask for any pain from humans. Treated his whims like Danny was a coworker with a different religion.
He didn't know what to do. He was just trying to cope with the fact that he was adopted.
Danny is in Gotham (yes, that Gotham, different universe, long story) to finish his education before moving on with his life—or afterlife—and eventually ascending to High King status. It’s a good reveal AU. He still has his parents. He still has his friends. Clockwork just strongly suggested that if he wanted to rule the Infinite Realms one day, maybe he should get some cross-dimensional academic experience first.
So now he’s here.
The problem? Everyone is rich. Not “my dad owns a company” rich. More like “we have generational trauma and private islands” rich. Danny tries being friendly. Smiles. Makes conversation. Offers help with homework. It does absolutely nothing. These people only care about connections.
Which would be funny—if it weren’t so isolating—because they have no idea he is, objectively, the single most powerful networking opportunity in the multiverse.
So yeah. He’s a little lonely.
Enter Damian.
One of Damian’s brothers (who will not be named but absolutely thinks he’s hilarious) jokes that Damian has never had a normal civilian friendship in his life. That if he had to, he wouldn’t even know where to start. He offhandedly gestures at Danny like, there, that one looks harmless.
It’s a joke.
Unfortunately, Damian takes it as a challenge.
Not because Danny is a “target.” He isn’t. Damian just fully decides he will prove he can form a normal, healthy, civilian friendship. Out of spite.
There are misunderstandings, but somehow, despite everything, they start… getting along.
And Damian, internally victorious, decides to present Danny to his family as evidence that he can, in fact, maintain a normal friendship.
Danny is delightful.
He charms Alfred. He debates with Tim. He listens to Bruce. He somehow gets Jason to laugh. He and Dick vibe immediately. He treats Damian like an equal without even trying.
For months, the consensus is clear:
Danny is the only normal person at this table.
And then they find his admission essay.
Titled:
“Why Clowns Are Not to Be Given Human Rights.”
Diana had a sense of pride when it came to her legacy and her home. To be an Amazon was the title of pride and honor. Her people, her sisters were the first family and she would always support them. Then she joined the world of man and things were a lot more complicated.
The outside world was full of lairs and thieves. She had to teach herself how to live among them even if it was the hardest trial for her to face. Eventually she met her friends with the justice league. People who understand honor and justice and those who protected the innocent.
But they had their secrets and she did too. When she introduced herself as the princess of the Amazonians she wasn't lying. She did lie about who here father was. Diana was not the daughter of zeus, she was the daughter of Krios.
It wasn't personal at all, it never was. It is one secret that anyone aside from herself and her mother knew about. She knew that history was never in the titans favor so she wasn't going to test the fates. Batman was one to check facts and he would definitely judge her if it ever came out.
There wasn't much else to discuss so she let that seed itself for the other heroes. That was until someone on the watchtower had gotten a report of Circe trying to bring back the titans. One of them being Krios who had been asleep for the longest of time by human standards.
Diana panicked, her father was peaceful and she knew that but the others didn't. She couldn't betray him, she had found herself in a similar position as her dear cousin Calypso.
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Danny has black hair and blue eyes. But he is so painfully boring to look at. So normal that he's damn near unseen
Regular boy syndrome. Completely unworthy of interest. He's an awkward nerd with negative charisma levels
And he's so painfully used to that, being treated like a ghost when he's completely human
The only exceptional part about him is when he transforms into Danny Phantom
Cause Phantom is actually interesting to look at and be around.
I say all this to showcase a story where Danny Phantom arrives to Gotham and he's still, so invisible as he walks the streets and attends university ect.
The Bat's only get interested when Phatom makes an appearance
And it becomes a dichotomy: they ignore/pass by Danny when he's human but are comrades around Phantom
Jason falls in love with Phantom
But when Danny the human comes around, they're all like, "ugh, the civilian."
Pretty much Danny getting heartbroken that no one would ever love him while he's alive, and the realization that no one would ever love Phantom entirely because they reject his uncool side.
So Jason slowly comes to realize that Phantom, his crush, is slowly slipping from his fingers (ghosting him ) which makes him panic and he can't make sense why he's being rejected when they mesh so well
(In this entire thing, Danny doesn't reveal that he's both human and ghost)
Well, maybe he does reveal the truth but it'd be the last chapter sort of truth to share
What if we expand this to include not just the batfam, but every hero one after the other - Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Arrow, Flash, the Lanterns, every hero *loves* Phantom, but when they meet Danny they never get along. Until the entire Justice League has the same story, a story about Phantom, kind and helpful and fun, but who always drifted away after a month or two, only to appear in a different city. Now they think that Phantom is some nomadic protective spirit who's nature is to drift.
All while Danny is furious that they only care for Phantom, and never him, they only like his power (maybe he's cursed) until he meets the Hellblazer, sure Constantine isn't the nicest or best of the heroes he's met, but he's consistent and is *honest* about wanting a powerhouse in his corner, and he doesn't reject Danny for whatever reason.
Thinking about it realistically other superheroes existing in Danny's universe is a very funny concept when you remember that Danny notoriously does not play well with others like despite the fact that another hero means less ghosts for him to fight I could just see dude getting pissed if a new guy shows up to Amity park and just starts heroing it up.
At first he'll be unbothered but then the moment this new hero gets popular Danny shoot first and ask questions never Fenton will immediately go into feral mode.
"New Yorkers bite more people than sharks annually" is an excellent example of how statistics can be misleading. Like yeah no shit, do you have any idea how rare it is to even encounter a shark in the wild? They're not exactly urban animals. I'm pretty damn sure that if sharks were living in big cities like pigeons, just strolling down the streets looking for food scraps, you'd see a lot more news stories about New Yorkers biting them.
the grinch is fucked up right. he was created specifically as a critique of the commercialization of christmas, but now all his edge has been sanded off. now he's a generic mascot for "hates christmas," which is great to have because the commercialization of christmas has become so overbearing that that's a demographic you can market to! and now he's just part of the Christmas Fold. he's santa's edgier joker counterpart. he has become the very thing he sought to destroy. back in november i checked out a customer with a $1100 order and most of it was grinch merchandise
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I pulled up the sketchy online Old English version of Beowulf and yeah it has 3,182 lines. If you took 5 seconds per line you’d need four and a half hours to recite it (or specifically to recite the one version that got both written down and preserved for a thousand years) (only a little charred). But I mean 5 seconds per line is for chumps who don’t want to unlock the Beowulf speedrun.
Also ok for SCIENCE I timed myself and quickly reciting the first 5 lines took 16 seconds, let’s call that fifteen because I mispronounced meodosetla. At that pace (if you could keep it up consistently and I mean never cough never take a drink) you’d be looking at 2.65 hours, or 2 hours and 39 minutes (or 159 minutes). This is actually 20 minutes shorter than the theatrical run-time of Peter Jackson’s Two Towers (179 minutes).
Now, the original post was about reciting Beowulf in an hour, so 2 hours and 39 minutes is not gonna cut it, and is so far over time that even doubling your pace can’t save you. You’re gonna lose this speedrun and Æthelflæd’s new scop poet is going to laugh at you. However, there’s a cheat to exploit here. In the period when Old English (language of Beowulf) was spoken, people often just said there were 12 hours in a day and 12 hours in a night, no longer how long or short daylight actually was. This made the concept of a daylight hour stretch in summer, when daylight lasts way longer than 12 hours. There’s a good article on this I’ll find it if anyone wants it. I don’t actually expect anyone to have read this far.
ANYWAY, the longest day in Jarrow (furthest north Old English speaking town I could think of) in 2024 (sorry this data is not calibrated for the 10th century) was of course midsummer: June 20th, at 17 modern hours 22 modern minutes and 1 modern second. This means each early medieval hour that day actually lasted 1 hour and 26 minutes. Still not nearly enough lads, but this is when it becomes a skill game. Because I wasn’t going ALL that fast. We need to squeeze 159 minutes of Beowulf (aka basically Two Towers) into 86 minutes. If you could half my pace-per-five-lines from 15 seconds to 7.5 seconds, you’d be able to do it, one day of the year, in Jarrow. Iceland is cheating. Good luck.
According to some websites i found on google and probably not actually the most reliable, in Gozilla Eminem raps an average of 7.5 words per second. The maths you've done above is per line so i dont know how that would translate.
I guess my question is, could Eminem do it and do we think it's worth persuading him to learn old english?
Best question possible. (Also I didn't bother to reference it because i thought i was posting into the ether, but the original post is in reference to the invention of the Beowulf speedrun on THIS post).
So Old English poetry has a fairly standard (though not set) number of syllables per line, which would be a better number to use to compare with the fastest known rappers (I checked around after seeing this and inevitably found a Reddit thread debating this question, but Eminem and Twista seem to be at the top).
In 2012 the Chicago Tribune was still reporting Twista as the holder of the world record (set in 1992), and I get the impression Eminem broke it, but I’m not entering the Eminem vs Twista debate here. What I need is a comparable rate, and Twista’s record is counted by syllable, not word, so his is easier to calculate. (Thank you Twista).
I can’t access the Tribune article, but it’s cited on Wikipedia, so I’m hoping the wiki text isn’t bullshitting:
So not looking at his peak burst as this is a marathon, he’s doing uhhh is this math right? He’s doing 10.87 syllables a second, holy shit.
So Old English poetry is structured in such a way where, while a poet didn’t have to count syllables, they did tend to end up with a fairly standard number of syllables per line (and a lot of alliteration). The beginning of Beowulf looks like this, for example:
You can see how the lines are pretty equal (the gaps in the middle of each line are added by editors because half-lines are important, you don’t have to worry about that) (Actually the lines are also decided by editors and no one agrees but that’s not a scop’s problem 💜).
The first line, for example, is 10 syllables : hwæt we Gardena in geardagum
*a lot of Gs are pronounced like y in OE, so that final word is more like yeh-ar-day-um.
The second has 9, the third 11. I should say I’m not sure about syllable counting in some lines, because vowel pronunciation rules vs stressed syllables rules are beyond me, having literally never been relevant to me until I needed to know how fast Twista (or Eminem) could rap Beowulf. Scops would be ashamed to be seen with me.
But for science’s sake let’s say there’s a range of of 9-13 syllables per line. Some paper I just found that I’m not totally sold on as a source but nevertheless seems to have done some math says the average is 9 syllables a line, roughly, though the range is from 6-18 and the most common single number is 10. Let’s go with that for now.
So, Twista can rap 10.87 syllables a second: more than an average line of Beowulf per second. But the copy of Beowulf we have is, as established, 3,182 lines long. Even just assuming an average of 9 syllables a line, that puts you at approximately 28,638 syllables. However, Twista can go at a rate of 652.36 syllables a minute.
Conclusion: if my math is right (please check my math) and if he could keep that pace up, Twista could rap the entirety of Beowulf in 43 minutes and 54 seconds. Presumably Eminem could do similar.
Danny is a ghost. The ghost. Or sorta? He's a halfa. He knows this, which makes him a lot more susceptible to the overwhelming sense of emotions that are other ghosts.
Seeing as humans are very emotional creatures, and ghosts are made from emotions.
This means when Danny moves to Gotham for what he would say was a 'vaca' from all that is being king of basically everything, he was very aware that he moved into another ghost's haunt.
But he knows that as long as he doesn't damage anyone or anything in said haunt, the ghost won't care, he's king, they don't tend to care unless it's to challenge him. And no one (honorable exclusion of Vlad, the bastard) really wants to challenge him. He's the closest thing to God by mortal definition.
So, for the last two weeks, Danny has been balancing college classes for engineering and astrophysics with his nightly activities of eating all the corrupted ectoplasm Gotham has to offer.
Simultaneously satisfying his obsession for stars and space, and his obsession to help and protect, while also getting a good snack out of the affirmationed corrupted ectoplasm.
Danny really hadn't been more relaxed since he first died. That was, until around 2:57 am on a Tuesday that marked Danny's third week in Gotham.
Danny would just like to mention that he was minding his ancients-damned business. He'd just picked up food for himself and Cujo, though neither of them have to eat, it's still an enjoyable experience, along with enough caffeine to kill, well, anyone that's actually alive.
The store clerk that checked him out looked ready to call the police or a mental hospital, or both.
Walking into what he assumed was an empty alleyway, and it was. Empty, that is. The rancid smell of piss and sex, and probably blood in the humid air blowing from semi-broken air conditioners made Danny wrinkle his nose and sigh, it was a shortcut back to his apartment even if it was a dead (ha) end. Danny usually just phased through the wall into the apartment complex right next to his.
But that's what happens usually. And usually is not a word that exists on a late night (early morning's?) Tuesday.
So, because the universe hates Danny, and because Clockwork thinks that his misery and torment is entertaining, Danny has the unfortunate pleasure of hearing a thud behind him from what could only be a body dropping into the alleyway he just walked into.
Yay him. Yay, Gotham.
Danny, like any sensible person, turns to greet the sight of a tall figure (Ancients, he's HUGE), clad from head to steel toed boot in leather, red, and guns... was that blood? What's up with this city and blood?
Danny has no reason to be interacting with any of the furry brigade that calls Gotham home. He hasn't done anything illegal by this world's standards... he thinks.
Shit, was he about to lose kneecap privileges for Jaywalking? He swears he only does it at night.
Danny, like any sensible person with a fear for their lives (deaths? Half life? Whatever), just turns back towards the inside of the alley and just-
"Nope. Not today, Satan."
Either Sonic Is A God Or Sonic Can Kill God And I @batwithaknife - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook