Screaming Silence

You leave such words and then take flight

Shocked and numb I'm paralyzed

As my heart breaks and tears are cried.

But silent I endure my pain

Silent cause I am to blame.

You told me so, you told me why

This disconnect is 'cause I don't try.

One thing you said I talk too much,

But my diminished words are also a punch

To your expectations of what makes a perfect wife.

I have brought shame to your life

By not being more, by losing me

To escape my undying love and need.

But if only you could truly see,

Every bit of me that's changed since we first met

Happened because of your anger and regrets.

There is no space for me in our home,

Except the tubs and corners I am loaned.

There is no consideration of what I see

When the preference is voices of your friends and family.

I have been reduced to boxes and tears,

To sleepless nights and lonely fears,

To wishes of death with each heart beat,

As I keep trying to meet

Every expectation, every request,

I fail and fail even at my best.

So I am frozen again after the squall