Battery News

Thank you for your responsible citizenship, Battery City! We all know the value of doing our civic duty, and your efforts have helped keep our streets safe! We've had a record year so far for civilian threat identifications - less than two months in, and you've alerted us to an outstanding 87 potential terrorists! Remember: dangerous individuals almost always show signs of their intent, and it's up to you to help our brave draculoids prevent them from harming themselves or others.

File a report immediately if you observe anyone acting erratically, disobeying the law, avoiding medication, or being in possession of illegal weapons or other personal items. Additional early warning signs may include having a positive view of killjoys, violent or reckless behavior, rebelling against social norms, attempting to homeschool children, or displaying fear or concern regarding company oversight or security forces. Fear of the law is evidence that you've broken it!