when life becomes maddeningly polite, think of me

Hannibal (2013-2015)

There is one guy who could be a groupie, but he’s dressed so… preppy. He’s sprawled on one of the many comfy couches and working on a Rubix cube, tongue poking out a little in concentration. Munson doesn’t introduce him, just calls out, “How’s it coming, sweetheart?” The guy doesn’t even look up, just flips him off; Eddie laughs and moves the tour along to the next room, which contains a full Olympic sized pool with a Star Wars themed mosaic floor.

What draws all the attention though is a coffee kiosk set up inside Munson’s home that’s a clear spoof on Starbucks. It’s a fully branded and decked out coffee “company” named Penta-Dollar, with a logo that has a white pentagram etched on a red sand dollar by a black tentacle holding a tattoo gun, curling around from behind the sand dollar. Once the footage airs Starbucks sues, and Munson has good enough lawyers that it basically just becomes a matter of cease and desist.

A few months later Munson launches his own coffee company called Malicious Compliance Coffee Co., with a logo featuring a hand that’s obviously modeled after Munson’s giving a thumbs up sign. Of the rings on the hand, two are some of his signature decor: a skull and a cross surrounded by skulls. But the middle ring, instead of his signature pig ring, is an octopus. The branded hot beverage cups feature photocopies of the legal decision from the case with “Starbucks” and “Penta-Dollar” blacked out.

It’s such a big stir that it takes a long time for anyone to comment on the fact that, uh, wasn’t that Olympic gold metal swimmer Steve fucking Harrington chilling on Munson’s couch like he lived there?

And doesn’t Harrington have a small sand dollar tramp stamp tattoo??

An Eddie Munson who houses the homeless. Clothes broke kids. Pays to keep people's utilities on.

Eddie Eat The Rich Munson.

No he won't show up to your shitty awards show in clothes that cost him thousands of dollars.

Yes, he just found a kid on Twitter and paid his and 3 other people's entire college tuitions.

Eddie's never broke a million dollars because he doesn't keep his money long enough to get anywhere near it.

An Eddie Munson who still lives in a modest three bedroom with Steve, Robin, Chrissy and their three cats because that's all he let's himself be able to afford.

Eddie's biggest purchase was a two bedroom house for Wayne. Bought it cash and then never bothered saving another dime.