i ask myself,

INTRODUCE: THE CHILDREN OF SPECTACLE, OF ONCE-NOBLE NAMES AND BLEEDING LEGACIES, LEFT TO SORT OUT THE PIECES OF CRUMBLING FAMILY EMPIRES LIKE FINGERS SIFTING THROUGH SAND.

THE PREMIUM LOUNGE GLINTS UNDER A FEEL OF SOFT LIGHT AND LIVE PIANO. it’s a cushioned wealth high above gotham’s creeping underbelly. she looks to the window, the city skyline in view. ❝FUN... I SUPPOSE.❞ her own smile is small and manufactured, could easily pass as truth if not for the tell in her eyes and the stiffness of her brow. it’s a level of transparency she would not allow otherwise. she sets her purse down and sits in the opposite chair, relaxing her tension as she settles in. ❝if that’s what you’d like to call it. as long as it does the job.❞ as long as it distracts. she remains elusive, vague. casual even, careful not to dig deeper holes and expose flesh and bone, same as him. after all, what would be the point of admitting grief out loud? for a moment she retreats into the deeper recess of memory, at a time where she’d bite her tongue just to curse at her family name. home has never been a real, true place for her, even before her father’s plight.

it is.

what's more his element: out there, perched on a gargoyle overlooking the city, feeling the cold touch of the wind. in here, it feels almost stuffy in comparison. bruce's jacket is unbuttoned, as casual as he can really get in public, and he's playing the part. playboy without a care in the world. except he does care, and this topic is one that he knows well. it's one he thinks on near constantly. who would he have been if not for what happened? it's unimaginable. it's one moment that defined the rest of his life.

maybe he would have been a surgeon after all. maybe he would've gotten into engineering and left the medical life behind. who are you without your fixations, without the ghosts in your closet?

it's impossible to say.

"it does enough." the tone shifting there, somewhere between gotham's prince and the bat. more serious. it does enough, which is all anyone can ask for. gets you away. blurs the truth of you enough that no one else can look at it, teeth drawn in a smile with the texture of frosted glass. who would know him? no one.

he looks down at his glass, barely touched. he doesn't drink much, but he knows how to act the part. gotten drinks thrown in his face too for his trouble, which is fine. he doesn't care about the dry cleaning bill. it's about the image.

bruce's gaze lifts back to her just as lara's gaze meets his. there's a coldness in it. it's not a blade pointed at him. that'd be easier, more manageable. no. this is just the truth of their lives, flayed and laid out flat between them. tuning it out. it's a skill if you're trying to practice; it's a necessity if you live in the world that they do. "some days," he says easily, turning his glass around in his fingers. "not always. there's still things to care about." a glance out towards the skyscrapers, the streets.

dialogue prompts from idlewild: a novel by james frankie thomas.

funny, that's what your mom said to me last night.

i've never gone to a reunion.

sorry. i should have asked if i should touch you.

so, you were an outsider?

it's okay. i've reclaimed the word 'cunt'.

all i can think of now is what we didn't talk about.

____ is my favorite movie of all time.

everybody's got a thing, or so stevie wonder has led me to believe.

have you ever stood on a random street and felt, for no reason in particular, like you were home?

this is where i live, by the way.

what an incurious coward you are.

is anyone else seeing this?

promise you won't sing anything from rent.

have you ever kissed anyone?

what does ____ mean to you?

who died and put you in charge?

you know how dads are.

are we actual friends now?

what's eating you these days?

i don't 'have' to do anything. i don't even have to be here.

i'm not gonna ask you what's wrong, because i don't give a shit.

i dislike you, like, 20% less than i dislike most people.

friends don't treat each other the way you've treated me.

'good' and 'evil' are heterosexual concepts.

i didn't think you'd actually do it.

what a maddening mystery you are.

i'm on your side no matter what.

none of this matters. none of this is real.

i like this side of you.

bribery will get you nowhere.

i'll be so good, you won't even know i'm here.

i'm a prickly pear. real soft on the inside.

that's just my scorpio nature.

how does it feel to be a star?

you're gonna be a great ______.

i don't know why i get like this. i don't want to be this way.

i wanted one thing that was just mine.

you need me. tell me you need me.

i'm sick of constantly guessing what you want from me.

you look as bad as i feel.

i know you're doing some stalker shit.

i hate to think of ____ alone.

you know that's not grammatically correct.

you can't come within 15 feet.

maybe you'll never see me again.

everyone has a weakness. everyone except me.

i always thought it was just me.

we're the same.

you wrote fanfic about me?

i want to give you a hug.

did anything unusual happen last night?

maybe i want them to see.

can i tell you something i've never told anyone?

i don't need to know. i just need you to be alive.

you're brave. you don't care what people think of you. it's cool.

i wish i could be like you sometimes.

can't we just pretend it's real?

you don't have to pretend with me.

what the hell happened to you?

why weren't we friends? why did it take us so long to do this?

i was obsessed with you, you know.

close your eyes. try and rest.

a god should not be able to avert her eyes.

what a terrible thing it must be, to be monstrous and not even know it.

how can you remain neutral when it's your property being blown up?

sleep well, when sleep comes.

no one's safe. you know that as well as anyone.

it's happening. just like we talked about.

i need you to know i love you. i love you so damn much.

are you afraid to die?

the road's always where i've been happiest.

everything burns out in the end. it has to.

we need to get you somewhere safe.

you must have an extraordinary heart, to carry so much in it.

i've never heard you say sorry.

i've got grievances. i've got questions i need answers to.

your voice is ____ than i remember.

you were always doing the best you could.

are you happier now?

i don't have much, but i'm everything i always wanted to be.

do you have a family out there?

do you enjoy playing the part of ____?

you'll find another part. you'll become someone else.

it takes courage changing anything.

you were always brave enough to know what needed to change.

you're not the center of all things, past and future.

you're adrift. just like the rest of us.

there's no more truth to your fragment than mine.

maybe you just need a little inspiration.

we're all going to die screaming that we're not really dying, and we're not really screaming.

hell of a view from the top.

can i share something with you, in confidence?

you trust me, don't you?

fuck it. let's take a leap of faith.

none of our problems have gone away, but we're still here. we're still surviving, somehow.

i'm becoming what they see in me.

i want you to be more than i was.

we all thought ____ was making you up.

i can understand wanting to keep yourself apart from other people.

life cannot inhabit a vacuum.

you're not a person, are you?

no blessing comes without cost.

is this kindness, or just a predator circling before it feeds?

can you hear the song beneath the song?

this is where it ends, then?

you have to be lying to me. that's all i can think.

will i see my friends again?

i feel good. i didn't dream.

i promise not to leave without saying goodbye, at least.

i have nothing and no one left in this world.

agreeing is easier than anything else.

what will you be, now that there's nothing left to become?

i've had decades of comfort. none of it made me safe.

i'll go where you lead me.

i will be better than they are.

you do not need to be afraid of me.

i will take care of you.

i am not what they intended me to be.

i can keep you safe.

i was honestly never too fond of families.

you wonder what kind of a world we're bringing children into, you know?

what can they do to us that they haven't done already?

they must not see you hesitate.

when you come for one of us, you come for all of us.

this is great. maybe i should've gone into acting.

you should have let me die.

kill them all, but let _____ live.

i'm not leaving you, you fucking idiot.

calm down, i said.

you can find meaning in anything, if you mess around enough with words.

it's just one thing after another, isn't it?

we can still fix this. this isn't our end.

i only want to live up to the lesson you taught me.

you think i tarnish my title, do you?

you have nothing to confess. nothing to be sorry for.

that's what people say right before they do something really stupid.

you probably know who i am, right?

i survived. i didn't think i would.

where are the tears of our god? where is its sorrow for us?

anything can be a stable foundation, as long as you've got enough cement.

all of us are capable of change. every single one of us.

i am not going to get better. nor will you. nor will any of us.

what do you think i'm going to do to you?

what did you want to be when you were small?

if this is my punishment, why am i smiling?

i did it. i'm to blame. i accept that.

how about what you did to me? can you bear that weight?

there will be a reckoning for what you've done.

you wouldn't be able to bear the weight, if you understood the harm you've done.

there's no way past it, and there's no way around.

it's a little like an apology, isn't it? explaining yourself?

we're entangled, you and i, in the ruin of one another.

hope is a twisting noose.

change will come. it has to.

we're all crawling grubs dreaming of butterfly's wings, told a fine tale by the birds above us. and while we're dreaming, they all come down to feed.

i hate you because i know you. better than anyone else has known you.

i hate you. i truly do. and i love you, too, in spite of everything.

i'm wise to what you really are. i can see the eyes beneath your eyes.

there'll be a place for you, and it will be beside me. that's my offering. that's all i have to give.

the best feeling in the world is seeing you walk away.

walk until you're lost to me. don't look back.

you'll laugh, i think, when you hear it.

i never really cared for any of you all that much, if i'm honest.

is it really such a bad thing, to be nothing?

it's never too late to change.

i'll wear whatever shape you choose for me.

no matter how it starts, it can end with love, can't it? it can end with kindness.

we talked a lot, but always about the wrong things.

you can find the beauty in almost anything, once you stop struggling.

BRUCE WAYNE / THE BATMAN [@batnoire] : "sometimes it's better to ask for forgiveness."

and in this city, half-aligning might as well be everything.

the truth is that on some days, forgiveness is easy. other days it's the most difficult thing in the world. and asking for it assures nothing.

the headlines'll say what they always say about a vigilante. they're still saying it about him.