the fifth bastard

saw a post on bluesky about reimagining The Iliad as a mecha war and that idea goes unbelievably hard. achilles in his legally distinct gundam cutting through dozens of enemy suits. aggamemnon in his gold-plated mech. paris using a long range sniper rifle to exploit a design flaw in achilles' armor. the gods are all various megacorps who have a stake in the war bc it'll impact their profits.

Odysseus sailing back through oceans littered with the titanic bodies of fallen mechas

we are so excited to announce that we will be opening the Children's Pizza Restaurant from the hit horror game franchise There's Murders At This Children's Pizza Restaurant

i have a suggestion

it would be fucked up if sex were real

wtf are you talking about

i was just saying that like if sex were real that would be fucked up

I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct

there's art now

Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.

I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.

This is my new favourite post in the world

everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension

And, predictably, it's because it was about gay sex

this nonsexual cuddle pile MUST only consist of people with pussies, if the person im nonsexuallu cuddling fully clothed with ever had a p*n*s in their pants i would call the cops (bust trans mascs with bottom surgery are okay :D we're progressive here)

I love rebloging. It’s the adult equivalent of showing everyone the cool rock I just found.

Trans boy of colour dont look at those European men for transition inspo trans boy of colour. Trans boy of colour please look at people of your ethnicity you need to Lock In and realize that the standards you’re setting yourself up for are rooted in white supremacy. Trans boy of colour a white European man is NOT the peak of masculinity

“You can’t use she/her pronouns for a character who hasn’t come out yet” I’m gonna start she/herring cis men in real life now. It’s the fault of everyone who says that shit.