In Desperate Need of Florting

thing abt being some sort of dyke or lesbo is that you find yourself talking about girls with girls. clear conflict of interest, there.

so instead of saying "i would love to have sex with several of my close friends" in dms with a close friend, because that would make it a bit awkward, i instead say it here in front of like, everyone

No way thats called Orangina

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

I've got to find myself more macrophage

Now Hiring: macrophages

immunesystem.com/careers/macrophage

these kinks are getting weirder and weirder what the fuck is “clickbait”

Sometimes I go "meow meow meow." Not today though because I'm full of darkness.

hi! yay-bunnies here. i got banned unfortunately. can u spread my bunnyspores?

follow my bunnies. look at my bunnies. pet pet pat pat my bunnies. do it for bunnies every where

oh my god I just saw the cutest thing in the world. little Black girl with beads in her hair for the first day of school and the beads were pink then silver then a bunch of yellow then beige then grey to make them look like pencils 🥺🥺🥺 brb I will draw an artist’s rendition

AAA video game publisher voice: "Look. The goose layed a golden egg, and that's nice! Everyone loved that egg. But keeping the golden goose means paying for bird feed and I don't want to, so I killed the goose."