In Desperate Need of Florting

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame

you’re mommy’s medium-sized twenty-seven year old. because that’s the age that you are that it says on your official governmental paperwork. be the same age for mommy. #agestagnation #sameage #nothingplay

Y'all. "Hell is empty and the devil's are here" is not one of those epic Tumblr quotes. It's from The Tempest. The Shakespeare one.

remember when that furry post went around with "you have nothing to lose but your chains" and people were saying "this is such a raw ass line and it's from a furry post" but it's literally karl marx

reading waiting for godot for class and finding out that’s where that “that’s how it is on this bitch of an earth” meme is from ruined me i think

new game: "classic or shitpost?" in which we give you a raw-ass quote and you have to determine whether it came from an internet shitpost or classic literature

"I will face god and walk backward into hell" that one on the other hand is actually from a dril tweet

This is the COOLEST thing I’ve seen in AGES. You both completely made my entire week.

This meme ages like a fine wine every year that passes.

reblog to slap op with some paper in the wind

IS ANYONE GOING TO GET HIM PREGNANT???

people act like this college shit is hard but i used AI to generate me a medical license and have bee ndoing surgery on newborns for 6 months

literally the worst way of ending a series is “all the survivors are happily straight married with tons and tons of babies!” 

people still getting mad at this post i made in 2014 so I will add here. in 2026. that the point of this post isn’t “happy endings bad” its when the story’s only way to imagine a happy ending is a heterosexual nuclear family for everyone.