subete wa vector kazoku no tame ni

it wouldn't be so bad if it were every other day or if we could at least have a day off here and there at first until it stopped being so painful to walk but

nope

so like i dreamt that sofie and i went on holiday, and the place we went to had these little bird things. they were about the size of a bluetit but like. they didn't have birdfeet they had little pawfeet and they had little kittyfaces instead of beaks and stuff THEY WERE SO CUTE i think they should be illegal to even dream about

little proofread point: “body and body” why the repeat? also u hurt me

oh whoops good catch

i wrote some of it in notepad and copied it back into the doc so i guess i just copied too much by accident whoops

now that i'm more coherent because it's the middle of the day i guess it would be worth going over what the specific things were so uhhh

it was the vibration + fast movement that set things off in the first place which i think? i pointed out but it's pretty hazy so i am stating it now for the record if i didn't. it was sore and uncomfortable and i don't know how much of that is down to lack of prep and/or bad positioning and how much was just plain not liking it, in my experience the whole in and out thing doesn't do it much alone and the vibration made it uncomfortable to do that i think?

the curling fingers thing too doesn't do it much, because angles make it awkward i find so it might be better together or i might just be generally touchy about things inside WHO KNOWS anyway the point is that one doesn't do much for me so when i was uncomfortable and wanting to have ambered out it just made me more uncomfortable i think which is why you shouldn't listen to my suggestions in that state i have no idea what i'm doing by then god ok

anyway i mean we already discussed stuff so shrugs gently i think that overall stuff wasn't terrible? i mean something like that was always going to happen at some point or another and i don't think it went terribly personally? i felt fine after i slept and you know it's not like i ever really struggle for sleep in that state so

i guess my one piece of advice or request w/e w/e would be to talk? it doesn't have to be anything particularly profound - i'm not sure it would even need to be words - it's just. reassurance that someone's there i guess? because i freaked out in that like. minute. that i was left alone so.

(and nobody is surprised)

i won't but