Barbarian Bakes by Ragna T. Red

NO scale needed, this recipe isn’t very picky about weight and is easy to adjust if you notice one flavor overpowering another

Food Processor—electric or hand crank will work. In a pinch, you can use one of the hand choppers but you will have to cut down on the recipe significantly 

PESTO

2 cup Basil, tightly packed

1 cup Pine Nuts

1 cup Freshly Grated Parmesan—Fucking grate that shit yourself unless you want hard ass parmesan flakes you bought already. Seriously use those muscles of yours and grate your own parmesan so you get that nice soft stuff

1/2 cup any kind Olive Oil

6 cloves of Garlic—NAKED. GET THAT HUSKY SHIT OUTTA HERE UNLESS YOU WANT WEIRD THINGS IN YOUR PESTO

approx 11/2  tsp any Salt—We’re using pink Himalayan sea salt today, because we’re worth it, OKAY?

approx 1/2 tsp White Pepper

SANDWICHES

3 tbsp Pesto, or to taste

approx 4 oz Goat Cheese—No scale needed, just estimate based on the amount in a full package

approx 4 oz Cream Cheese—No scale needed, just estimate based on the amount in a full package

A dollop of Honey—Preferably a local variety to support beekeepers near you

1 ripe Avocado

approx 16 slices Thin White Bread or other bread as your preference dictates

approx 2 tsp any Salt

PESTO

1. Add Pine Nuts, Basil, half of the garlic cloves, and Parmesan to food processor. Cover with lid and pulse until roughly combined.

2. Turning it on to the lowest setting (if you’re fancy and your food processor has multiple settings), slowly add olive oil. Let it run until you see that the oil is incorporated.

3. Taste it to test the balance. Add the rest of the garlic cloves if need—I wait to add all since sometimes you get those really strong cloves and we all like garlic but not that much. Add salt and white pepper to taste

4. Easy! Split into one larger and one smaller container (if you can’t tell, I used the empty pine nut jar), labelling both with the date. Put the large container in the freezer and keep it for months to come—the oil helps prevent it from freezing through completely, which helps maintain freshness and fight freezer burn. Keep the smaller container in your fridge for up to about two weeks (less if it’s cross contaminated). When stored for more than a few days, the top layer will darken and become a different consistency. I discard this layer before scooping out the lighter green pesto. 

5. When you want to use it, combine—preferably with a small pan on the stove—with a ratio of 1 tbsp pesto to 2 tbsp of melted butter. Add to any pasta or pizza to elevate even your lazy meals. 

SANDWICHES 

1. In a small glass bowl, combine goat cheese and cream cheese with a hand beater or a rubber/silicon spatula until evenly incorporated.

2. Add honey and pesto and mix to your preferred incorporation.

3. On half of the bread slices, spread a generous layer of the cheese filling.

4. Cut in half, de-pit, and gently remove the skin from an avocado. Cut into slices about the width of a butter knife’s blade and layer on top of the cheese filling.

5. Layer on the rest of your bread slices and cut off the crusts—I usually put these to the side and munch on them later, as I really only remove them for presentation. Cut into triangles and arrange on a tea plate.

Bon Appetite!