Having Jabber thoughts again. I think Jabber is fully aware of self-destructive his goal to find someone to beat him up is. In that he knows this is bad. I doubt he's under any illusion this is somehow a healthy thing to do so if anyone tries to tell him "hey this is bad for you", he's most definitely just gonna laugh in your face. His dialogue makes it obvious, but specifically this.
Okay, what is "strength"? What is power? What has Jabber at its mercy? For Jabber, it is pain and escapism. Unlike the rest of the cast, Jabber has yet to express any interest in figuring out what their world means. I think this is intentional on Jabber's part. The people searching for answers on what The Sphere and Ground's separation means are the ones trying to escape the horrid fate of surviving on the Ground. They are hurt, they are angry at where the world has left them, so
Jabber's priority isn't survival, it's the opposite. He wants to forget, to drown in pain, and one day, die from it. I think, we could say, he's passively suicidal. He's neck deep in his addiction and doesn't want a way out. He has all the tools literally on his hands to kill himself, but he doesn't because that's not the point of the poisons. Death would be a consequences Jabber would pretend not to care about.
He's very aware of others struggles and can give some painfully pointed insights in a flash, but he will not self-reflect on his won tendencies. He wants pain, he wants dissociation, he does not want to examine why he wants these things.
In that way, he is at the mercy of his fears, his ruler is the very thin layer separating his inner self(with all the mess of examinign why the hell he can smile after getting shot 7 times) and his immediate goals which has surfaced to the top of his conscience. Once it breaks, it's fucking over. Idek what that would look like for him. Not good, I imagine Mankira herself would start acting strangely.
Ngl it's scary to imagine Jabber in a scenario where he has to confront the reasons for why he is so self-destructive, because he has no support system. Zodyl keeps pushing him into the same tendencies, he doesn't have a close relationship with anyone. The one person he was intrigued by was Zanka but only because of the pain. He's.....lonely, isolated, despite being with the raiders. Maybe Cthoni is this figure in his life but she's not exactly stopping him.
Which is just horrible to see because the Cleaners are all such a good community.
(God the person who said Amo and Jabber have parallels needs to pay me financial compensation because they were spot-on. )
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