The Local Introvert

opening tumblr in march and it's just like "huh. knife weather we're having."

Remember: toe beans are the sign of a killer.

Funnily enough, I’m not 100% joking. While many animals have paw pads, the particular kind of soft, squishy beans found on housecats are an adaptation for stealth. Squishy beans mean you’re looking at an ambush predator.

These are the beans of a killer, Bella.

btw if youre young and scared of doing adult things without your parents ive learned that like 90% of the time you can just tell the doctors office or the dmv "haha sorry ive never done this without help before... can you show me how to do this?" the employee will not care. if that means anything to you

why is the hill silent. it's supposed to be alive with the sound of music

We laugh at how The Art of War is basically just, "An army can't fight if the soldiers aren't eating," but I'm reading this document about conservation of ancient yew trees and it legitimately says, "You should never fill the center of a hollow yew with concrete," so I think that probably making blatantly obvious statements is just the bane of being a specialist in anything

with the way high school positions you to think that you need to decide on the rest of your life as a seventeen year old i think troy bolton was well within his right to be flinging himself across walls and visualising hundreds of basketballs falling from the sky to attack him and shit

sorry for [remembering a tumblr post about expressing gratitude instead of apologising to make the interaction more positive for the other person] i mean thank you for having a boyfriend who was so easy to run over withmy car and reverse over three times maybe four

i was in the grocery store and saw an onion on the ground and picked it up, absently saying “poor little guy.” behind me a teenage girl started laughing and then stopped and went “aww. i’m sorry for laughing. that’s nice actually.” and the cycle of cruelty is broken for another generation as a young person realizes that it is not embarrassing to have empathy for another thing that was once living, because certainly to be a lone white onion rolling on the ground in a supermarket would be terrifying to anyone

[Image ID: Tumblr tags from spaceFuneral reading: #this reminds me of how these two teenage girls apparently come into my work often and i didnt recognize them but they recognized me #and they were like " do you just have a collection of mystical cat shirts" #and i was like oh god im about to be bullied by teenagers #and i was like haha yeah! #and said that one person gifted me one and then suddenly i was collecting them #and they were like "i love that i love your vibes" #and "thank you for sharing your lore" #and i was like god damn.......... peace and love on planet earth /End ID]